Page 8 | How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 2024-10-07T08:58:18+00:00

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses? for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400 average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website) assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

pocketpairs · 25/11/2025 13:53

Soitis83 · 07/10/2024 10:03

DH is on 33k a year, I'm currently a SAHM with 3 under 5. We do absolutely fine, but saying that, our mortgage is only 300.

As they get older that £33k will need to rise substantially.

Afternoonbath · 25/11/2025 13:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 25/11/2025 08:07

Upandoffearly · 25/11/2025 07:19

Yes private schools for three children on this income out of the question

but I don’t want to derail the thread with that irrelevant debate

op…. You sound very budget conscious and careful with money. You would make it work fairly comfortably I expect. Have you made a decision yet?

Yes and I think even for one child on our income it’s probably not viable (at least in terms of what we commonly think of as private school) , given we’re paye and our gross and take home are v different. Common sense would indicate that so I don’t know why it’s constantly brought up.

yes we decided to go for it a while back. Hasn’t happened yet, but I’m one of those people who believe in divine timing. Both DH and I are now on the promo fast track within q1 of next year, that should take our income to about £7k after tax a month. Then our bonuses on top. So perhaps there’s a reason for everything

OP posts:

Upandoffearly · 25/11/2025 07:19

Yes private schools for three children on this income out of the question

but I don’t want to derail the thread with that irrelevant debate

op…. You sound very budget conscious and careful with money. You would make it work fairly comfortably I expect. Have you made a decision yet?

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 24/11/2025 18:18

Mushroomyum · 24/11/2025 11:54

My DD’s day (secondary) is £7490 a term
My DS (weekly boarder) is £11,210 a term

south east. Nothing out of the ordinary In terms of comparative schools

great! Good for you

OP posts:

Magtime · 24/11/2025 16:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mushroomyum · 24/11/2025 11:54

My DD’s day (secondary) is £7490 a term
My DS (weekly boarder) is £11,210 a term

south east. Nothing out of the ordinary In terms of comparative schools

Mushroomyum · 24/11/2025 11:52

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 24/11/2025 08:46

Because it’s always mentioned, always mentioned to middle income families and presented like a blocker.

there are cheaper faith private schools, Islamic schools that are affordable for us BUT I don’t agree with private schools, (nor faith schools) so it’s all moot. And I went to a private school one of the top ones actually and I’m not convinced that the education is any better for that matter, but the people were god awful

Show quote history

any joy with going for a third?

Given you have no intention of sending your children to private school, seems like you spent a lot of energy saying how you could send them to a very cheap strictly Islamic school, so seemed a bit of a waste of focus.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 24/11/2025 08:46

Mushroomyum · 24/11/2025 08:18

I didn’t read that post as beating anyone op

I read it that the poster was saying your income could not possibly afford three kids at private school so was wondering why it was being discussed. And I agree!

Edited

Show quote history

Because it’s always mentioned, always mentioned to middle income families and presented like a blocker.

there are cheaper faith private schools, Islamic schools that are affordable for us BUT I don’t agree with private schools, (nor faith schools) so it’s all moot. And I went to a private school one of the top ones actually and I’m not convinced that the education is any better for that matter, but the people were god awful

OP posts:

Mushroomyum · 24/11/2025 08:18

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 23/11/2025 10:34

Yes private school is always used as a beating stick to middle income families who could possibly contemplate more than 1/2 kids. Baffling really as there are many many excellent state schools, grammar schools and tuition options available

Show quote history

I didn’t read that post as beating anyone op

I read it that the poster was saying your income could not possibly afford three kids at private school so was wondering why it was being discussed. And I agree!

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 23/11/2025 10:34

guesscorrect · 21/11/2025 07:52

Can’t believe private school is even being thrown around for 3 children on this salary.

Another 2 years and then no more fees for me… and the financial freedom that will result will be life changing!

Yes private school is always used as a beating stick to middle income families who could possibly contemplate more than 1/2 kids. Baffling really as there are many many excellent state schools, grammar schools and tuition options available

OP posts:

guesscorrect · 21/11/2025 07:52

Can’t believe private school is even being thrown around for 3 children on this salary.

Another 2 years and then no more fees for me… and the financial freedom that will result will be life changing!

Superhansrantowindsor · 13/11/2025 08:46

What sort of lifestyle do you want?
personally I like a nice holiday abroad every other year. I wanted my kids to do hobby’s and music. When they were at school I wanted to afford a tutor if needed (they did) and I wanted to pay for driving lessons too. I also wanted my kids to do some school trips and to be able to have a room each. Other people want different things so therefore it really does depend. You can have 3 kids on a fairly low income if you want. Some people want more expensive things so wouldn’t consider 3 unless they were on at least 70k

Justtoodamneasy · 13/11/2025 08:36

Oh sorry zombie thread

Justtoodamneasy · 13/11/2025 08:36

any positive development OP?

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 17:17

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 17:06

The upside is holiday upgrade?! More savings for your two

Show quote history

Of not being able to conceive #3?

i do have a consolation holiday booked for next august but im in that space where im feeling terribly envious of all the women i see easily falling pregnant especially those older than me…

OP posts:

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 17:06

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 17:02

Well either way some people have kids at 37, but I don’t know, I sort of a have a feeling in my bones it’s perhaps not meant to be, but that could be anxiety and self protectionism after the months of disappointment

Show quote history

The upside is holiday upgrade?! More savings for your two

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 17:02

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:59

Ok

I interpreted it as another 18 months
ie 2 years trying and you’d be turning 37
but now less than a year
Hopefully it will happy within the year, but a comfort to know it there if not

Well either way some people have kids at 37, but I don’t know, I sort of a have a feeling in my bones it’s perhaps not meant to be, but that could be anxiety and self protectionism after the months of disappointment

OP posts:

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:59

Ok

I interpreted it as another 18 months
ie 2 years trying and you’d be turning 37
but now less than a year
Hopefully it will happy within the year, but a comfort to know it there if not

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:49

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:31

You are 35, you have been trying for over 6 months and the motility semen analysis was low and your luteal phase is a little short and she said give it another 18 months? Are you really going to wait until you’re turning 37 before starting on IVF? I thought you wanted a fairly small age gap?

Show quote history

^18 months total not another 18 months

OP posts:

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:49

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:31

You are 35, you have been trying for over 6 months and the motility semen analysis was low and your luteal phase is a little short and she said give it another 18 months? Are you really going to wait until you’re turning 37 before starting on IVF? I thought you wanted a fairly small age gap?

Show quote history

I’m going by what the consultant said would be medically prudent and not chasing unnecessary medical intervention.

you don’t jump to ivf at 6 months of trying over 35 they just recommend testing. But if I take it to new yr without success it will be 15 months ttc which I’m fine with.

i questioned age and she said that outcomes in ivf are broadly the same at 34 as at 37, it’s 38 where the trend goes down.

re my age gap, yeah if I had it my way I’d have conceived first try but this don’t seem to be the way the cookie is crumbling

OP posts:

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:31

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:11

I have not, we met the clinic and the clinician felt it was rather premature she said with our test results etc she’d give it 18 months because we’ve conceived twice before, time isn’t massively ticking, and I’ve got a lot of eggs, and dh total motile sperm count is a tiny bit low but nothing crazy. So she said touch base early next year. They did a success calculator for us and it looks like 65% for one round and then 85% for two

all depending on egg equality of course. But she did say she’d be surprised if we needed ivf

Show quote history

You are 35, you have been trying for over 6 months and the motility semen analysis was low and your luteal phase is a little short and she said give it another 18 months? Are you really going to wait until you’re turning 37 before starting on IVF? I thought you wanted a fairly small age gap?

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:11

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:05

Brilliant…. Have you begun?

Show quote history

I have not, we met the clinic and the clinician felt it was rather premature she said with our test results etc she’d give it 18 months because we’ve conceived twice before, time isn’t massively ticking, and I’ve got a lot of eggs, and dh total motile sperm count is a tiny bit low but nothing crazy. So she said touch base early next year. They did a success calculator for us and it looks like 65% for one round and then 85% for two

all depending on egg equality of course. But she did say she’d be surprised if we needed ivf

OP posts:

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:05

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:05

Yes it will up to £15k

Show quote history

Brilliant…. Have you begun?

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 16:05

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 12/09/2025 16:04

That’s the private school factor though isn’t it

Show quote history

Yes sorry scan read. You have rightfully discounted as a possibility