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Original poster

How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

581 replies

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 07/10/2024 09:58

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses?

for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400
average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website)

assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school

id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 29/11/2025 09:39

toopytoo · 29/11/2025 09:33

And the autism question was bloody rude and unnecessary.

It’s also unnecessary. It has 0 impact on debating whether to have kids. Some people just like to put others down. Like the discussion of London salaries, it’s very nice but the average salary in London is not £100k and even if it where its not relevant, or it’s of equal relevance to the average salary in NYC or Dubai.

As an aside, some of the most brilliant minds I’ve encountered have been from people who are ND. Really grates my cheese when people band about autism as an insult

OP posts:
Cherrycollagen · 29/11/2025 09:39

toopytoo · 29/11/2025 09:33

And the autism question was bloody rude and unnecessary.

Yes I agree

toopytoo · 29/11/2025 09:33

And the autism question was bloody rude and unnecessary.

toopytoo · 29/11/2025 09:32

OP if you’d have come onto MN stating your salary saying you wanted a 3rd but you felt your wages were too low, and “not very high” you’d have your arse handed to you on a plate. You can’t win!

toopytoo · 29/11/2025 09:29

OP said in her OP she’s not in London.

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 29/11/2025 09:25

Cherrycollagen · 29/11/2025 08:49

I’m in Sevenoaks, and £50/60/70k is not a high salary.

I don’t want to offend you op. But it’s fact.

i mean.. it’s a very decent salary! But a high salary, it is not around where I live.

But I can certainly imagine in parts of the UK, it definitely is, and you obviously live there

You’re not offending me, I don’t live in London though so it’s irrelevant what’s high in London

I don’t really like those google Ai summaries, they’re often inaccurate.

this is what I’ve found for the same search. One of from starling bank so I’d say a bit more accurate

How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?
How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?
OP posts:
Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 29/11/2025 09:22

Cherrycollagen · 29/11/2025 08:46

we’d put the youngest in 3x a week, a family member would watch the youngest at our house one day, eldest would be in wrap 3 days and we’d take 30 mins out in the day to collect the older two and the family member would supervise til 5,

isn’t that one full day a week
plus 3 days until 5?

either way… reading what you have planned as to how you’d both work full time in the conservatory and childcare arrangements made me come out in a cold sweat.

Those holidays are going to be well deserved!

Show quote history

No it would be one day a week and that’s it, although for some I guess that’s extensive.

the 3 days my older kids would be in wrap around club as they currently are.

the other day would be our lieu days.

OP posts:
Cherrycollagen · 29/11/2025 08:49

I’m in Sevenoaks, and £50/60/70k is not a high salary.

I don’t want to offend you op. But it’s fact.

i mean.. it’s a very decent salary! But a high salary, it is not around where I live.

But I can certainly imagine in parts of the UK, it definitely is, and you obviously live there

How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?
Cherrycollagen · 29/11/2025 08:46

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 29/11/2025 07:29

not cross but I think that poster definitely was trying to be not so kind. I don’t really care if you think my salary is modest or not. It is what it is and it won’t be that way forever.

yes, you’re a bit older than me, and I imagine you had £1k tuition fees and perhaps even grants available. The fees had been increased for a while before we went to university.

one day a week is extensive reliance on family? Guess it depends on the family but it’s just how it’s always worked for mine.

yes I hope I fall pregnant too and get to take many many blissful holidays!

Show quote history

we’d put the youngest in 3x a week, a family member would watch the youngest at our house one day, eldest would be in wrap 3 days and we’d take 30 mins out in the day to collect the older two and the family member would supervise til 5,

isn’t that one full day a week
plus 3 days until 5?

either way… reading what you have planned as to how you’d both work full time in the conservatory and childcare arrangements made me come out in a cold sweat.

Those holidays are going to be well deserved!

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 29/11/2025 07:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

not cross but I think that poster definitely was trying to be not so kind. I don’t really care if you think my salary is modest or not. It is what it is and it won’t be that way forever.

yes, you’re a bit older than me, and I imagine you had £1k tuition fees and perhaps even grants available. The fees had been increased for a while before we went to university.

one day a week is extensive reliance on family? Guess it depends on the family but it’s just how it’s always worked for mine.

yes I hope I fall pregnant too and get to take many many blissful holidays!

OP posts:
Trainerrow · 29/11/2025 07:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 21:17

JaninaDuszejko · 28/11/2025 21:14

Or she's from a country where people pay back student loans as a matter of priority because it impacts your credit rating. MN is becoming global so you increasingly see comments like that that show no understanding of the UK.

She said they live in London

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 28/11/2025 21:14

Or she's from a country where people pay back student loans as a matter of priority because it impacts your credit rating. MN is becoming global so you increasingly see comments like that that show no understanding of the UK.

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 21:05

JaninaDuszejko · 28/11/2025 20:45

In the UK people are paying what is effectively a graduate tax for most of their working life.

Show quote history

She knows that but is obviously trying to put the boot in for some reason, implying I’m autistic (really dislike when people try to use neurodivergence as some sort of slight), the comment about our salaires being small and then the implication that my husband is some sort of looser for still paying back his stupid loan.

OP posts:
JaninaDuszejko · 28/11/2025 20:45

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:02

He’s still paying off his student loans and he is in his mid/late thirties??!

Edited
Show quote history

In the UK people are paying what is effectively a graduate tax for most of their working life.

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:13

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:02

He’s still paying off his student loans and he is in his mid/late thirties??!

Edited
Show quote history

As are most people I know. He’s in his mid 30s, like me… who is also still paying it back. He has less than me because he’s earned more for longer and i only started working later when I finished my PhD

OP posts:
Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:11

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:03

Well it goes back to my question whether you are ND

But anyway I’ll hide thread

good luck

Show quote history

Of what relevance is neurodiversity? You seem nice

OP posts:
Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:03

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:02

What a snarky little comment, I just reply to comments on the thread as that’s what it’s there for

Show quote history

Well it goes back to my question whether you are ND

But anyway I’ll hide thread

good luck

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:02

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:01

That was the yr before it’s about 6.4k now, but hubs through work gets the HI, enhanced insurance, and the car so he looses a fair amount monthly, plus student loan, pension etc

Show quote history

He’s still paying off his student loans and he is in his mid/late thirties??!

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:02

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:01

Anyway I’ll leave you be as you have a tendency to get very focussed on one particular poster!

my point is - sounds manic for the entire family including your kids and mother

What a snarky little comment, I just reply to comments on the thread as that’s what it’s there for

OP posts:
Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 20:01

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 19:56

So your take home of £6.3k is after all tax and pension deductions?

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That was the yr before it’s about 6.4k now, but hubs through work gets the HI, enhanced insurance, and the car so he looses a fair amount monthly, plus student loan, pension etc

OP posts:
Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 20:01

Anyway I’ll leave you be as you have a tendency to get very focussed on one particular poster!

my point is - sounds manic for the entire family including your kids and mother

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 19:59

So the £6.3 take home is after all deductions?

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 19:59

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 19:58

Well he put a big amount in his pension through salary sacrifice the car deductible is salary sacrifice too so that took the figure down.

we don’t live in london. The average salary in London is about 70k isn’t it ?

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Well London is pretty big! Around my area in zone 2 - not it’s much more than that.

Original poster
Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 28/11/2025 19:58

Ragtoe · 28/11/2025 19:48

Yes they’re modest where I live (outskirts of London)

good benefits though!

impressive only £300 in CB payback

Edited

Well he put a big amount in his pension through salary sacrifice the car deductible is salary sacrifice too so that took the figure down.

we don’t live in london. The average salary in London is about 70k isn’t it ?

OP posts: