How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

Why don't you want them working while at uni? So they have more time to go out on the piss ?

I didn’t say they needed to work whilst at uni.

Deciding not have a child because you can’t support them through uni and buying a first car is quite frankly ridiculous.

Dont have a clue what you mean.

What do you mean different times? 2 of my siblings are in uni now!! Nothing is different in terms of having to/needing to provide uni costs and a car, they are not essential now and they never have been. My parents provided for all of us until we were 18, now we provide for ourselves. They have however always welcomed us living back at their home (paying rent) if we’ve ever needed to.

Also one of my siblings (age 24 doesn’t earn a massive wage) has just bought a new build property, the deposit was gifted by the developer, and he got an incredibly low interest rate thanks to a govt scheme and he worked to save the moving costs/fees. It’s not impossible to buy a home without parental input.

So how is it different when my son is just about to start his 3 Rd year at uni and manages with loan and job?

We have 2 at uni and one works during term time, one doesn't (he's at Oxbridge and they aren't able to).

We could have said we won't be giving you a penny, but even at my son's uni, which is cheap (relatively), his accommodation bill alone is £6k ish a year. He only gets £4k ish from a loan due to the household income - he wouldn't have been able to go.

Of course parents don't have to contribute, and children don't have to go to uni, but I don't know anyone amongst my peer group who isn't contributing to their children's tertiary education costs, or providing board and lodging etc if they are living at home whilst working.....

I think the question would depend on lifestyle more than anything, we earn combined £4800 take home pay per month and I'm as the name would suggest pregnant with number 2.

Our mortgage is lower than average, and our outgoings are around average in terms of bills. We have a nice extended 3 bed semi in a suburb with good schools and transport links to our local city. We are definitely savers though rather than spenders at the moment, as nursery fees were for a few years hammering us and will start to again after next year. We have a 4 year age gap between the kids which was what I wanted but it's also meant no cross over on nursery fees which is our largest expense.

I would like 3 I think but I also think practically I want to be able to give all three the same quality of life and think it will be harder to save for things for them in the future and to upsize our house. We ideally need a 4 bed in the next few years as we don't live local to family so need a spare room, and if I had 3 it would mean a 5 bed house which we couldn't stretch to comfortably.

They are not essential. Hence why I'm not paying for it.. although his car was my old one for his 18th ( 11 reg astra)

But neither of these are essential costs at all! I’m one of six, all of us went to university and got loans to cover the cost and all of us drive but we paid for lessons and a car ourselves once we were working! We also were never gifted a deposit for a home, some have bought and some rent. My husband never went to Uni and earns more than me or my siblings! @samedifferent

Hmm my DS is at uni and drives. He also has a job that runs his car and social life. Can't say that's he's that much more expensive than as a 12 year old.
Suppose it depends on whether you plan to hand everything to your child on a plate

Yabu parents are not expected to fund uni.
They absolutely are. They may duck out of this responsibility completely, or they may provide bed and board as in kind payment but parental income is assessed and the loan amount the student gets is based on that.

The system is set up to provide basic support for low income families and then there is a sliding scale of expected parental assistance based on their income.

Far too many governments haven't been clear enough about this, meaning it can be a shock for families when they start looking at finances for uni.

The number of disadvantaged children going to university is far more likely linked to parental experience & attitudes, access & exposure to opportunities, social mobility, peer pressure, having caring responsibilities, fear of debt (& lack of guidance on what this looks like in reality). The educational attainment gap is very real for many and starts much early than sixth form.

I know plenty of kids at uni who have no/minimal support from parents who get by on grants, loans and paid work,

I'm 23 so not living in the past. Yabu parents are not expected to fund uni. Getting a job, taking out a student loan, going to a nearby uni while living at home or sharing a flat and the rent with other students is how most young people do it.

Student loans are income assessed, if the parents earn over a certain amount (around £80k combined I believe) the amount of loan is reduced, because parents are expected to make up the shortfall. That's what the poster means, most parents WANT to make that shortfall so their child doesn't have a worse standard of living, doesn't stop the student working or staying more locally.

That is not how it works in my peer group. Every parent I know is funding their child’s university costs. I want my girls to be able to enjoy university and get to spread their wings in a new city and I will pay to help them achieve that.

Yes of course you can make them scrimp and save and live at home during the university years but I don’t want that for them myself.