How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

We have 4 kids. Earn about £130k I reckon between us. We are renovating a house and still paying nursery fees so it feels a bit tight but not forever. It depends what you expect/want for your kids. We wanted them to have a big family, some people want them to do extra curriculars every night, others want an overseas holiday every year. We wanted the feel of a big family—I guess we had to sacrifice some stuff but hopefully when the house is done and baby out of nursery it’ll feel more balanced. You’ve got to think about what is imporant to you. We have a lot of thought like you to whether to have a third….snd went on to have an accidental fourth which has made it all chaotic! Best made plans and all that!

We have three children in secondary school and I earn c. 75k as sole earner. Now, I would have been rejoicing if you had told me when I left school that I'd be earning that much, but with the increases over the last few years in terms of mortgage, energy and council tax etc it means that we're in the bottom decile when it comes to household disposable income.

see here: IFS Income distribution

It's demoralising and stressful.

Don't forget the cost of school trips when at secondary school. Over £1000 a year per child.

And it's not the money but the time with three, trying to spend quality time with 3, taking them to activities/social stuff, helping with homework.

I find other tough with 3 sometimes but we only planned two and then baby two was twins!

We even had to change both cars to fit three car seats as not many do!

@30percent sorry how old are you again?

No one is saying you HAVE to have X, Y and Z. As has been stated thousands of times already, the only person who can determine if the OP has enough money for a third child is the OP, because only her and her husband know what lifestyle they want.

I expect to pay towards my children going to uni, it's how the system is set up, I will not have enough money to gift them a house deposit but did not see that as a reason to not have a second child. For some people that is very important and they will only have 1 child to do it. There is no right or wrong answer, I don't believe anyone here has tried to say there is.

I think that depends a bit where you live - we choose to live very rurally which isn't our teenagers fault, so yes, we will finance cars/lessons etc. There is no public transport round here, apart from the school bus. It’s partly selfishly as I’m so done being a taxi service!

Most kids don't have any help with uni, driving and house deposits though. It's not a right to have the bank of mum and dad pay for your driving lessons.

I'm sure it's nice to do it but it's not something you HAVE to do most people couldn't afford to do it even if they wanted to. Plus your kid needs to learn to be independent go out and get a job and pay for their own driving lessons like i did and I know many of my peers did. I'm 23 before someone accused me of being old and out of touch haha

I’m not referring to your posts sorry for any confusion.

Sorry do you have me confused with another poster as I did not say anything about living on the edge.

That’s fine - if you’re happy living on the edge of just about affording stuff then go ahead, have 3 or 5 or 10!
But for us, we stopped at 2 because its nice to be able to not worry about an unexpected boiler breakdown or leak in the roof and know I still have resources to help and make life easy for the children I chose to have.

There are posts on here saying they wouldn’t if they couldn’t support them through uni/driving! I’m merely stating that’s a bit far fetched.

We’re not talking about “not having a child” though, we’re discussing having a 3rd child, which for many families will mean no help with uni/cars/deposits for 3 children, when most likely they would have had spare cash to help two kids.

I merely asked why not?

They assess all household income, if your YP doesn't submit NI numbers of the adults in the household they will only get minimum loan.

They can only borrow the maximum loan if your household income is under 25k, it is on a sliding scale. If your household income is over 65k then your YP can only borrow the minimum loan. That won't even cover accommodation.

Yes they can save up for it during sixth form, yes they can work part time whilst at uni. But it's still very hard to do on a minimum loan with no help from parents. It is expected that parents will top up.

Well it’s a choice isn’t it? If you are desperate for three it may mean the lives of the other two are compromised. On balance we wanted to be able to offer good support to two
that was more important to us than having 3 children. You feel differently that fine its not right or wrong.

No not all. Some did open university, some went back as mature students, some lived at home etc etc. If it’s feasible then you go? If it’s not it’s really not a big deal!!

Yes there are several replies on this thread saying that

But neither of these are essential costs at all! I’m one of six, all of us went to university and got loans to cover the cost

Were you entitled to max loans? Because my children won't be.

Yes the difference being but I wouldn't determine whether I should or could afford to have a child on being able to provide the ‘nice to have’ things.

Telling the OP to not have a child if they can’t afford uni or a car when an adult is perfectly capable of providing those things themselves is just silly.