Page 13 | How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 2024-10-07T08:58:18+00:00

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses? for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400 average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website) assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 20:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 20:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Gogogo12345 · 09/10/2024 20:54

I suppose it also depends on age gaps. There are 3.5 years between my first 2. Meant I could move eldest from expensive day nursery ( no govt help then) to preschool playgroup and childminder. Also sent my 2nd to same childminder but only had under a year before eldest went to school. So less costs

3rd was born 9 years after 2nd. His father was a DJ so could do some daycare and there was also help with nursery fees by then. The elder 2 didn't need childcare by then as I could finish in time to collect DC2 and eldest was 13 so able to sort herself out after school

Also means never more than one could possibly be at uni or need to learn to drive at same time

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 20:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheaBrandt · 09/10/2024 20:51

You obviously feel extremely strongly about this and will do it regardless so not sure why the defensiveness towards those of us that made different choices?

My point is mentally and physically I and most other women I know feel very differently at 50 to how we felt late thirties early 40s. We are over dutiful mothering and want to live our own lives while we still can. Those with thirds don’t say it but are noticeably flagging at doing the whole teen thing (friendships/mental health/ GCSEs/partying or being reclusive worries / a level/ uni choice etc etc ) for a third time. And as mentioned much more is expected of parents now in terms of support than we got. Just flagging it.

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:46

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone I think you're mixing me up with someone else, I didn't raise the uni convo, and I didn't ask you a question about it.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 20:43

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:38

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone it's not going to be too different but you'll be doing it for an extra 9+ years when you've added all the age gaps.

Look you asked a question and you're being extremely defensive, it's irritating people are spending the time explaining their answers (and explaining it's a lifestyle choice) and you're rudely dismissing them and judging them for their choice. You want 3 kids, you're not worried about providing less for the other 2, so just go crack on?

No you’ve asked a question and I’ve given an answer based on my rationale…

that we have a lump sum for them that can be spent on uni, but I believe going away to uni isn’t a right so they should think long and hard about it. Staying at home is a viable option for most kids and will have to be, university will have to change. The value of a degree is so eroded anyway, that unis give out 2:1s for practically writing your name.

no one has judged you for doing whatever you do… what an odd response. I’m finding you quite judgmental and condescending

OP posts:

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:38

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone it's not going to be too different but you'll be doing it for an extra 9+ years when you've added all the age gaps.

Look you asked a question and you're being extremely defensive, it's irritating people are spending the time explaining their answers (and explaining it's a lifestyle choice) and you're rudely dismissing them and judging them for their choice. You want 3 kids, you're not worried about providing less for the other 2, so just go crack on?

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 20:35

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:26

(And it's £6000 shortfall annually)

Well I just went onto the MSE calc and it told me 4.8k for me, so that’s what I’ve based it on.

they can work for their bills like phone etc, plus if they claim student loan they have part of that too, I don’t see how housing and feeding a 18 year old in sixth form would be too too different than a 20 year old at uni. I don’t recall my caloric requirements rocketing at that age.

we will have a lump sum for them that not factoring in growth which has been decent thus far, will be 20k. That can be used to subsidise uni if they want (id want them to consider that very carefully as they’ll pay for it later).

it’s very reasonable to assume we’ll progress in our careers in the next 10 years. As I said up thread our net has grown by 2k pa in 5 years, so it’s reasonable to assume that we’ll have the same growth again in 10 (at a min)

OP posts:

Thenosleepclub · 09/10/2024 20:33

I've not long had a third. Combined income is around 48k, our mortgage is £1k. I work part time so only need 2/3 days childcare max. Don't have long commutes, buy clothes mostly from vinted/charity shops but that's more about wanting to be environmentally friendly.
We holiday every year but not AI style more centre parcs/ lodge holidays. We're comfortable and saving quite a bit, but probably wouldn't have had another if we didn't know our income was going to go up in the next couple of years.

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:26

(And it's £6000 shortfall annually)

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:25

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone well you'll be paying for their bills, food and providing them space until they're 21+ so you're making it up one way or the other. If that's what you're going to do, that's how you factor it into your own question, will you be housed adequately for 5 adults, financially prepared to be relied upon until age 21/22 for 3 adults etc.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 20:20

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:12

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone but you do understand as a family earning over £80k you are expected to part fund it? Fine if you want to stipulate they can't go anywhere not commutable as your contribution, but that is how the system is designed.

this is just for the maintenance loan. Tuition is covered.

i do struggle to see why they’d need a maintenance loan if living at home, but if they did claim yes there is a 4-5k ‘annual deficit’ to be made up

OP posts:

toopytoo · 09/10/2024 20:12

@Allthegoodnamesaregonegone but you do understand as a family earning over £80k you are expected to part fund it? Fine if you want to stipulate they can't go anywhere not commutable as your contribution, but that is how the system is designed.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 20:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

to what extent does it limit you? I know people from former polys that have done grad schemes at the big 4.

As a hiring manager now, in a pretty big company I can confidently say we don’t care about where someone went to uni and I think for the vast majority of careers that’s true.

we live close to 2 Russell’s and 2 post 92s and then a few other former polys as well as some newer unis.

i think prudent financial decisions should be at the fore front from a young age. Financial literacy in the UK is incredibly low, and we’re in the state now where one should go to uni for the right reasons, you don’t need to move hundreds of miles away to study media studies or film studies (I’d agree most humanities) or if you’re do a degree just a next step to get a grad scheme.

having spent a good while at uni and teaching at uni, with the exception of oxbridge I’m not confident the education is any different.

OP posts:

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 19:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Does it? I think there’s only a select few instances where that proves to be true, like marine biology.

I’d be proud if my children made a prudent financial decision thinking of the long term.

I went to university but for absolutely the wrong reasons, I was presented no other option, given no opportunity for work experience, in fact I didn’t want to go. I chose a subject I was alright at, and that was it. No consideration to the long term employment prospects. Luckily it was an academic subject, but humanities. Needless to say I don’t work in that field now.

i have subsequent degrees too. I went where I had funding. I could’ve gone to London or Oxford but London offered no funding to me, Oxford was minimal or none(can’t recall) so I went where I funded. I didn’t expect my parents to cough up

OP posts:

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 19:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Well rn we take home about 6.2/3 a month and bonus on top. We have scope, I’d definitely see us moving up in the near future, this time 5 years ago our take home was 4.5k so I think it’s feasible to add another 2k on in the next decade

i will have an inheritance one day too, not millions of course but a fair amount, but I’d rather rely on my own funds.

I guess it’s relative, I’m not sure most would call £20k modest, i think a lump sum of £20k it’s pretty good going. It’s more than I had and my parents were high high earners

OP posts:

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchiketch · 09/10/2024 19:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Allthegoodnamesaregonegone · 09/10/2024 19:02

hereshewonders · 09/10/2024 15:43

They assess all household income, if your YP doesn't submit NI numbers of the adults in the household they will only get minimum loan.

They can only borrow the maximum loan if your household income is under 25k, it is on a sliding scale. If your household income is over 65k then your YP can only borrow the minimum loan. That won't even cover accommodation.

Yes they can save up for it during sixth form, yes they can work part time whilst at uni. But it's still very hard to do on a minimum loan with no help from parents. It is expected that parents will top up.

IF students go away for uni, but it is perfectly reasonable to stay at home and is the norm in other cultures, that’s most certainly the option I’d encourage my kids to explore, if nothing else to minimise the amount you’re paying back monthly

OP posts: