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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to go on Christmas light trail?

85 replies

Kamkoi · 07/10/2024 07:41

It's a PIL one... .

Last year we went to a light trail in a forest an hour away with PIL and our toddler DS. To DH and I it was a bit of a disaster - it was busy, poor weather, very muddy underfoot, and even though DS had some interest in parts of it, he was quite grizzly and fed up.
In the car on the way home we said we wouldn't do it again next year!
This year DS has dropped his nap and is asleep for 7 usually. We suspect he will be good for nothing at 5pm when this begins, and will probably even fall asleep in the car on the way there and then be annoyed to be roused.

Now PIL want to go again and DH declined. They have taken this badly. We are stopping their new traditions and making memories with DGS. They are refusing to engage in any conversation about Christmas plans now.

We didn't really want to book anything too big at all- last year we booked loads with various family and friend groups and it was just too much and made December a slog, and DS was knackered. This year we wanted to keep things more low key and local. We felt there was a lot of pressure for events to be 'magical' when tickets were quite pricey!

Are we being unreasonable? Shall we just suck it up?

OP posts:
SallyWD · 07/10/2024 07:56

I think they need to accept your reasons. You know best for your son. But I'd try and arrange something else they can do with him to "make menories". What about a trip to see Santa, or something like that? I'd show willing and arrange something he'd enjoy.

aCatCalledFawkes · 07/10/2024 07:56

I quite like our local light trail but its 20mins down the road and my kids are teens. I think doing it with an over tired toddler would push me over the edge.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/10/2024 07:55

You can't teach them that they can turn a no into a yes by having a tantrum.

Tell them it's no for this year or the reasons you've given but when your child is a bit older he might want them to take him.

Doingmybest12 · 07/10/2024 07:52

Well done for saying this isn't the best idea. Is there an alternative day time thing close to home they can be invited to come along to?

MouseofCommons · 07/10/2024 07:52

I went to one once (Windsor park) and crikey it was crap. Mooching around on dark damp paths for 30 mins.

Beezknees · 07/10/2024 07:49

Why can't PIL take him on their own and deal with the fallout? 😁

DrummingMousWife · 07/10/2024 07:48

They are making this about them - not dgs. You are not making happy memories with a distressed, crying child. Ridiculous they can’t see this.

Billybagpuss · 07/10/2024 07:47

Went to one once and declared never again.

Be firm, pil it didn’t work for us ds was grizzly and grumpy and it upset the following day. This year he’s older it will impact his sleep schedule worse. We are not trying to spoil your traditions but this one really doesn’t work. Take a couple of days to process this and decide what you would like to do over Christmas then we can perhaps find a Father Christmas visit, maybe at the same place so you can enjoy hot chocolate or soup in the forest during the day instead.

fourelementary · 07/10/2024 07:46

Of course you’re not being unreasonable and the in laws can do something like a trip round a local garden centre in an afternoon and he would have more fun looking at the Xmas decorations and getting a cake in the cafe! A lot less expensive too!!
Stand your ground and say it will be lovely in a few years but for now low key is fine and less overwhelming too! It’s best for him and that’s what matters, not grown adults getting all butt hurt!

PrettyParrot · 07/10/2024 07:43

Say no. You can do such things with him and them when he is a bit older and less horrible in the evening. I had one like this and he has definitely improved 😁