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Original poster

Would you send reception child to school today ? Illness related

193 replies

savetheday · 07/10/2024 07:03

My threshold for illness and sending my child to nursery has always been very low. So any slight issue, I tend to keep her home.

She's started school now and her brother has had a fever for a few days. She woke up today and I took her temperature at 38. I told her she may not be able to go to school today and she was distraught because she's going to miss her friends, bless her.

Anyway, she's downstairs now and the temp seems to have come down on its own at around 37.4, some times 37.7.

In my opinion, she should not go in today.

What would you do ?

As I said, my usual threshold is low but I understand that now she's at school - she'll sometimes need to go in even with a sore throat or something but I draw the line at waking up with a fever ? To me that means she's not well and coming down with something.

She says she doesn't have pain anywhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
savetheday · 08/10/2024 02:14

40 degrees fever now for my DD.

Surely I can't send her to school in the morning..

OP posts:
WillowTit · 07/10/2024 19:34

so sorry about your mum's reaction.
unhelpful, and quite usual.

hope your daughter perks up

Pandasnacks · 07/10/2024 19:17

savetheday · 07/10/2024 18:29

@Phonicshaskilledmeoff my mum is OBSESSED with stuff like this causing pneumonia and bad illnesses... I normally take it with a pinch of salt but I am exhausted today from being up since 3 am. She really freaked me out.

' well hopefully she doesn't get something REALLY REALLY bad ' ' I can't believe you let her go swimming ' ... etc etc

Why'd you even tell her?

Moggmegg · 07/10/2024 19:13

my mum is OBSESSED with stuff like this causing pneumonia and bad illnesses..

This probably explains why you feel anxious in relation to them being poorly (or not actually poorly).

Ratfinkstinkypink · 07/10/2024 19:02

Your mum is just stirring the pot, my DD was a competitive swimmer from a very young age, she sometimes trained then came down with a virus a day later, she never had pneumonia due to it (and she's a chronic asthmatic so her weak spot is her chest). I wish them both a speedy recovery (and you some sleep!)

Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 18:29

@Phonicshaskilledmeoff my mum is OBSESSED with stuff like this causing pneumonia and bad illnesses... I normally take it with a pinch of salt but I am exhausted today from being up since 3 am. She really freaked me out.

' well hopefully she doesn't get something REALLY REALLY bad ' ' I can't believe you let her go swimming ' ... etc etc

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 07/10/2024 18:26

savetheday · 07/10/2024 17:56

My mum is really having a go at me that I let her go swimming when I knew she wasn't quite right.

Surely swimming isn't going to make any illness she already had, actually worse and more serious, right ??

Of course it’s not. Nanas bang on about stuff like this and you know when their own kids were little you’d have to be at deaths door to be kept at home 😂

Glitterblue · 07/10/2024 18:18

I hope both your children are feeling better soon, @savetheday . I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time with some people on here and now your mum as well. It can be tricky knowing whether to send them or not, especially when they’re as little as yours and less able to keep going if they feel under the weather. DD used to get ear infections every couple of months or more from when she was around a year old until she got grommets at 5. She had to be off quite a lot because of that plus she was born very prematurely and still has a weak immune system so she catches things easily and things hit her hard. As she’s got older I’ve had times where I’ve tried to get her to school not realising just how awful she’s feeling and by the time she’s actually got there she’s had to come back with me - I’m not one to want to make her go if she's clearly feeling rubbish but there’s a lot of pressure about attendance. A fever is something I would keep her off for.

Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 17:56

My mum is really having a go at me that I let her go swimming when I knew she wasn't quite right.

Surely swimming isn't going to make any illness she already had, actually worse and more serious, right ??

OP posts:
Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 17:18

@longapple thanks for your well wishes btw, I forgot to say. It's that time of year isn't it.. it's all taking off again with these winter bugs !

OP posts:
Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 17:15

longapple · 07/10/2024 17:14

I hope she and your little boy are better soon x

He's been so bad today ! Ear infection. I went to the GP.

OP posts:
longapple · 07/10/2024 17:14

I hope she and your little boy are better soon x

Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 17:06

DD has come back from school with 39 fever.

There was definitely something up this morning.

She seems ok in herself but just tried.

OP posts:
longapple · 07/10/2024 12:10

FasterMichelin · 07/10/2024 11:55

It'll just be the child who suffers then. 37 isn't a fever.

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You're right, it's not. But 38 is, which is what the temperature we've been discussing was.

FasterMichelin · 07/10/2024 11:55

longapple · 07/10/2024 10:23

Honestly listen to your gut. You know your child.
I never changed my standards for sending mine in. I tell them the reason when I call in sick and I keep a record of it. At the end of the year if they say he's been off too many times I'll present them with a list of the reasons and ask which of d&v, fever etc I should have ignored and sent him in to share.

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It'll just be the child who suffers then. 37 isn't a fever.

longapple · 07/10/2024 10:41

nosmartphone · 07/10/2024 10:35

If your child is that sick, I'd be questioning your parenting and why you haven't had him investigated! No child is that sick. Poor nutrition would be causing s&D on multiple occasions. Needs better nutrition, fresh air and exposure to germs to build resilience to diseases.

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what? he's not that sick. I keep him off when he is unwell and I keep a record. If they were to decide it was too many times, I will present that to them.

His attendance level is good, and would be even better if others didn't 'crack on' and send their sick kids in to share their illnesses to him.

Calliopespa · 07/10/2024 10:40

savetheday · 07/10/2024 10:10

For what it's worth, another mum took my DD from me in the car park to accompany her down to her classroom ( she volunteered ) we do that for each other sometimes and she told me she felt my DD felt warm. With no prompting from me or anything.

I'm sure my DD will be fine and I know I need to raise my standards for sending her in when she's unwell now she's at school. That's why I posted on here and I'm glad I sent her and hope she has a fun day today but I'm not a complete idiot for considering leaving her home, first thing this morning as things stood. As time went on, I made the choice to send her as she seemed ok.

I'll update and let everyone know if she does become ill today. I'm able to get her if that happens.

No you’re not an idiot at all. You are wise and considerate and there are those of us who appreciate it.

Your son is unwell which also casts perspective on your DD’s temperature.

Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 10:40

@nosmartphone no child has that many fevers ? What are you talking about ? I haven't even mentioned how many fevers she has or I had ?

I don't get your point here. She's now almost 5, so I expect there will be fewer fevers this what than last year.

My two year old has fevers sometimes. He has one now and he had the last one at the beginning of September. Both times he missed nursery because he was miserable. My daughter wasn't miserable today, at first I thought she was but she was ok- so I sent her.

Your post is flippant and not informed.

OP posts:
nosmartphone · 07/10/2024 10:36

savetheday · 07/10/2024 10:35

I had days off school when I had a fever, what's wrong with that ?

I also don't go into work when I have a fever. I am resilient. So is she, thanks very much. There's a lot more to resilience than going to work or school when you have a fever.

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Honestly. Fever you can SEE without a thermometer. I don't even own one but I do know the 3 occasions my children have been desperately ill. You're being dramatic. No child has that many fevers. If they do, you're doing something wrong!

You're going to be getting fined if you carry on through school.

nosmartphone · 07/10/2024 10:35

longapple · 07/10/2024 10:23

Honestly listen to your gut. You know your child.
I never changed my standards for sending mine in. I tell them the reason when I call in sick and I keep a record of it. At the end of the year if they say he's been off too many times I'll present them with a list of the reasons and ask which of d&v, fever etc I should have ignored and sent him in to share.

Show quote history

If your child is that sick, I'd be questioning your parenting and why you haven't had him investigated! No child is that sick. Poor nutrition would be causing s&D on multiple occasions. Needs better nutrition, fresh air and exposure to germs to build resilience to diseases.

Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 10:35

nosmartphone · 07/10/2024 10:33

Christ. Your child's absense % is going to be appalling if you keep them off for every minor sniffle! She sounds fine.

I didn't have one single day off as a child myself in school. You're not teaching your child any resilience at all although to be fair, she sounds more sensible than you insisting she wants to go!

I had days off school when I had a fever, what's wrong with that ?

I also don't go into work when I have a fever. I am resilient. So is she, thanks very much. There's a lot more to resilience than going to work or school when you have a fever.

OP posts:
Original poster
savetheday · 07/10/2024 10:33

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 07/10/2024 10:30

If in doubt, I send in but am prepared for a phone call.

Kids' temperatures can increase and normalise a lot when they're fighting off I cold. I've found.

I don't know what your children's school is like but our come down on us like a tonne of bricks on absences. It's not acceptable to keep your child off school for every sniffle.

Edited

I don't know yet. She went to the nursery and they never complained when I kept her off. The nursery is part of the school.

But the school will be stricter I am sure.

And I do recognise I need to raise my standard for sending her in sick. That's why I posted because I know I have a tendency to be overly cautious.

That's ok. Some of us are. I am glad I posted and have totally taken it onboard. I will send her unless she's really quite unwell in herself or has D and V.

Definitely will send her when she has colds ( like I have done ).

OP posts:
nosmartphone · 07/10/2024 10:33

Christ. Your child's absense % is going to be appalling if you keep them off for every minor sniffle! She sounds fine.

I didn't have one single day off as a child myself in school. You're not teaching your child any resilience at all although to be fair, she sounds more sensible than you insisting she wants to go!

30percent · 07/10/2024 10:31

longapple · 07/10/2024 10:26

Fines are for unauthorised absence. If you follow the sickness procedure (usually call on the day before a certain time with a reason) it will be authorised. If you're taking the piss and saying they're poorly every friday because you want a duvet day they might start asking for evidence before authorising.

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If you are calling in sick every time your child has a high temperature which could easily just be because they've just come out of bed and have been wrapped in blankets the school will quickly think you are taking the piss

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 07/10/2024 10:30

If in doubt, I send in but am prepared for a phone call.

Kids' temperatures can increase and normalise a lot when they're fighting off I cold. I've found.

I don't know what your children's school is like but our come down on us like a tonne of bricks on absences. It's not acceptable to keep your child off school for every sniffle.