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Original poster

Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

258 replies

Boredofitall88 · 06/10/2024 21:45

Dh and I have been together years, and it's becoming more and more apparent that we have widely different sex drives. I'm happy with once a week, I don't think he would be satisfied if we were doing it 2 or 3 times a day!

We also both work full time and have 2 young children (9 & 4)

One thing that constantly puts me off is he likes to talk about other people, what he would do if they were there and constantly mentions wanting a threesome (like everytime we do anything.)

Problem is it's not just famous people, he starts bringing up my friends. He'll ask what i would do if they suddenly came on to him and would he have to say no etc

I know he wouldn't actually do anything (and it's really not likely to happen in real life as none of my friends are his biggest fan anyway) but it's draining.

He says I'm boring and he's just doing it ti make things more exciting but I find it awkward and I don't want to talk about people I know that way

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

OP posts:
Forevertiredmam · 06/10/2024 22:49

Vile.

I don’t know you but I already know you deserve so much better than this. This is 1000% not ok or how a husband should be

BirthdayRainbow · 06/10/2024 22:49

Yuk. I'd leave. Divorce. Immediately. Twat.

Volare123 · 06/10/2024 22:47

Vile pig! 🤢

Mmhmmn · 06/10/2024 22:47

Goin4Gold · 06/10/2024 22:40

Fuck him off, for real! He is an abuser...I had one of those in my early years of relationships; it truly destroys you. Do not be me!

This. Yes. He is an abuser.
a pathetic, insecure arsehole that puffs himself up and maintains his ego by trying to crush yours. Hopefully you’ll realise that he’s not fit to shine your shoes.

MonsteraMama · 06/10/2024 22:46

Ew, you're having sex with this egregious pile of ooze someone scraped off the bottom of the barrel? Why?

Can't imagine why none of your pals like him 🙄

Down goes the bar yet another surprising notch, we'll be at the earth's core soon.

AlexaSetATimer · 06/10/2024 22:45

He's negging to break you down. It's emotional abuse. And revolting.
I couldn't be with someone like this.

jenny38 · 06/10/2024 22:44

Yuk. I think you need to break it to him that he's the one who needs to up his game. Intimacy with your partner should be focused on pleasing then, not making them feel not enough.
This is a regular thing, not a one offvilljudged mistake.
What would you advise your grown up daughter to do in this situation? Do whatever your good advice would be for someone you care about

Valkyrie3 · 06/10/2024 22:43

Get rid.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 06/10/2024 22:43

What on earth possessed you to marry this twat?

wavingfuriously · 06/10/2024 22:41

Pumpkincozynights · 06/10/2024 21:51

He tells you you are punching above your weight!!!!
Hell I’d be showing him just how hard I can punch by using his stupid face as a punch bag.
Maybe start by telling him he is giving you the ick and it’s a real turn off him droning on about three somes.

Agree ! I'd tell him to sling his hook before giving him a left hook!💪👊✊️

Scout2016 · 06/10/2024 22:40

Also, it is generally a red flag if your mates actively don't like your OH. Having nothing in common or not getting what you see in him is one thing. Actually not liking him is a big deal and I imagine the are on to something, even if it's just a gut feeling. I suspect they get creepy sleeze vibes if nothing else and want better for you.

Goin4Gold · 06/10/2024 22:40

Fuck him off, for real! He is an abuser...I had one of those in my early years of relationships; it truly destroys you. Do not be me!

Fluoreto · 06/10/2024 22:38

Ew yuck.

Mmhmmn · 06/10/2024 22:37

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

Sorry but this is a LTB. He sounds absolutely, irredeemably, awful.

Propertyshmoperty · 06/10/2024 22:35

Ick! He's actually fucking disgusting, I wouldn't want to have sex with him either. Seriously I would be getting my ducks in a row so I could divorce the creep.

Also you are not punching above your weight he's "negging" you because he's an abusive prick trying to grind you down into considering sex acts you don't want to do.

Slowtopic · 06/10/2024 22:32

This is the kind of thread I should come back to every time my DH fills the dishwasher up wrong and I feel pissed off about it. I cannot even comprehend that there are men who think this is a great chat to have with their wives. Or that they have wives. I don’t know anyone like this.

Feel absolutely free to join the normal people and consign this one to his own bizarre world.

Viviennemary · 06/10/2024 22:29

He's awful. What a turn off he sounds. It's a wonder you even want sex once a week. Yuck.

KimberleyClark · 06/10/2024 22:24

He’s an absolute creep. What on earth do you see in him?

Scout2016 · 06/10/2024 22:23

It's not boring not to want to do sexy talk about your mates getting it on with your husband. Or to not feel overly inclined to have sex with someone who keeps saying they are more attractive than you like you're lucky to have the chance.

I think he's knocked your judgement off kilter OP, you don't need or deserve this shit. It's not ok. I'd say tell him to pack it in and never say any of it again, but to be honest knowing he thought like that would eat away at me and I'd struggle to get past it.

BunnyLake · 06/10/2024 22:22

He sounds like a sleaze and deeply unappealing. If anyone deserves the word ick, it’s him.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 06/10/2024 22:18

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Maray1967 · 06/10/2024 22:17

OP, he is disgusting. Truly disgusting.

If any man ever told me I was punching above my weight with him, the relationship would be over.

Sit him down and tell him it stops now. NOW. Or you’re done, and you’ll tell his parents exactly why you’re divorcing him.

StarDolphins · 06/10/2024 22:17

ewwww! Tell Randy Andy that none of your friends like sleazy sex pests & that you’re leaving him. Then don’t look back. Grim.

MatchingBedding · 06/10/2024 22:16

I’d tell him your friends all think he’s a knob and he is punching way above his weight so the likely hood of any of them touching him is minuscule. No. He’s eroding your boundaries.

Noseybookworm · 06/10/2024 22:14

What a thoroughly unpleasant man, I wouldn't be having sex with him at all 🤮 call his bluff - next time he tells you you're punching above your weight, tell him to pack his bags and leave if he thinks he can do better! Honestly, I couldn't stay with a pig of a man like this!