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Original poster

Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

258 replies

Boredofitall88 · 06/10/2024 21:45

Dh and I have been together years, and it's becoming more and more apparent that we have widely different sex drives. I'm happy with once a week, I don't think he would be satisfied if we were doing it 2 or 3 times a day!

We also both work full time and have 2 young children (9 & 4)

One thing that constantly puts me off is he likes to talk about other people, what he would do if they were there and constantly mentions wanting a threesome (like everytime we do anything.)

Problem is it's not just famous people, he starts bringing up my friends. He'll ask what i would do if they suddenly came on to him and would he have to say no etc

I know he wouldn't actually do anything (and it's really not likely to happen in real life as none of my friends are his biggest fan anyway) but it's draining.

He says I'm boring and he's just doing it ti make things more exciting but I find it awkward and I don't want to talk about people I know that way

He also constantly tells me that he could better and that I'm punching above my weight and would never find anyone else so this kind of talk doesn't really help

OP posts:
malificent7 · 07/10/2024 07:43

The hills are over there.. run for them and don't look back.
I'd be putting his belongings in bin bags and changing the locks op.

Beautiful3 · 07/10/2024 07:43

Eww what a gross disgusting and disrespectful man. You shouldn't be with him, you can do so much better.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/10/2024 07:42

This is just grim.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 07/10/2024 07:42

MsDogLady · 07/10/2024 04:01

So his ‘pillow talk’ is always about bringing in your friends and others for threesomes and what he’d do to them?? That is beyond abhorrent. And he also enjoys negging that you are boring and less attractive than he is? He clearly gets a buzz from humiliating you.

@Boredofitall88, it is disturbing that you are tolerating his utter degradation of you and disrespect of your friends [who clearly have the measure of him]. I assume that he is an arrogant, misogynistic, self-serving pig in other ways.

I empathize with your poor children having such a shit father and role model.

Please consider making an exit plan.

This!!!

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 07/10/2024 07:41

alrhoigh this is absolutely not the poo t and agree with everyone else, he sounds like a total cock…..and you should leave him..

next time he starts talking like this I’d match him… but mention his mum… or dad… or sister… 😂

BibbityBobbityToo · 07/10/2024 07:37

Are you married to Jay from the Inbetweeners?

Your DH is a total creep, I would not be with someone who made sexual remarks about my friends.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 07/10/2024 07:37

So this prince of a man

tells you you’re boring
says you’re lucky to be with him
considers you to be much less attractive than him and tells you so
undermines your confidence and self esteem
pesters you for sex
pushes your boundaries to the extent that you’re very uncomfortable

And the question you’re asking here is whether you’re being unreasonable for not indulging his sad little wankfest fantasies about banging your mates? OP, there are a lot of other questions that should come before this one.

And btw I’m not at all shocked that your sex drive has dwindled after years of co-habiting with this twat.

liveforsummer · 07/10/2024 07:33

Yuk! What other narcissistic and emotionally abusive traits does he have? As I'm certain this isn't the only thing! Punching indeed. I'd vote with my feet!

Skyrainlight · 07/10/2024 07:17

He sounds foul. What an absolute turn off.

DrummingMousWife · 07/10/2024 07:17

Punching above ?! I would tell him to get out right now. Sorry, I wouldn’t put up with this Op. you deserve more !!!

NotaCoolMum · 07/10/2024 07:14

This is where he belongs….

Sad Trash Talk GIF
MoveToParis · 07/10/2024 07:13

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:53

You are married to a predator.

He doesn’t even try to hide what he is. What on earth do you possibly see in him? Why would you stand for this op? This is well beyond jokey banter, and is truly vile and predatory.

Edited

Yes this.

Once you leave him you’ll find out that he’s been saying things like “We’ve been talking about a threesome with you” to some of your friends.

He’s grim, and sleazy.

MrFoxandtheslippers · 07/10/2024 07:12

Oh the irony of him wanting more sex and then saying things that would make any woman drier than the Sahara!

He's revolting. Utterly revolting and clearly very stupid too.

Partylikeits1985 · 07/10/2024 07:12

Gross

ruethewhirl · 07/10/2024 07:11

Good lord, dump the fucker! He sounds absolutely vile!

TemuSpecialBuy · 07/10/2024 07:04

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

He may not have been as bad as his is now, but it doesn't sound like he was ever a good man

agreed 💯

also to confirm: its totally totally abnormal

I'd honestly be looking to divorce if i couldnt I'd be ending all marital and sexual relations and we'd essentially be roommates

I cant even tell you how disrespectful gross and creepy this guy is.
I would also be deeply unsurprised if he was seeing prostitutes on the side because "you dont give him what he needs" 🤢

CheeseDreamsTonight · 07/10/2024 07:02

God I've never ever said this but you need to leave him! He sounds horrible.

jeaux90 · 07/10/2024 07:00

JFC OP.
You know this isn't to be tolerated right?

Odious sex pest.

FrostFlowers2025 · 07/10/2024 06:53

Boredofitall88 · 07/10/2024 03:46

Thank you for all of the replies

He wasn't always this bad. he has always wanted sex more than I have but it's been the last few years that it's got worse.

I have called him out on it and told him to stop a couple of times, he then sulks says he won't mention them again its fine for a few weeks and then it slowly starts again

It's always kicks off more when he has had a drink

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

He may not have been as bad as his is now, but it doesn't sound like he was ever a good man.

Anyways. He's the one punching above his weight-class. You are way too good for him, OP. Find a man who actually appreciates you as a fellow human being and not some fuck-toy

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:53

You are married to a predator.

He doesn’t even try to hide what he is. What on earth do you possibly see in him? Why would you stand for this op? This is well beyond jokey banter, and is truly vile and predatory.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 07/10/2024 06:50

TheCatterall · 06/10/2024 23:48

I’d tell him that my mates all find him cringy as fuck and wouldn’t give him a golden shower if he was on fire let alone have a threesome. “Joanne would never come onto you, you deluded little prat.. so thinks your a gormless gobbin and a feckless fucker.”

I’d inform him that he’s deluded to think you are punching above your weight as the
Gossip is he makes folks nauseous with his overinflated sense of self and he’s merely a little prick in an ocean of cock should you want to go fishing.

I’d also be taking legal advice on how to separate so that me and the kids can grow up in a sleaze free home as I doubt this issue is even the worst of them..

Brilliant and I laughed out load at 'Gormless goblin' 🤣

pictoosh · 07/10/2024 06:49

It is not normal for him to talk about your friends like that. Maybe it's normal for a creep. Maybe creeps think that's ok.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 07/10/2024 06:45

No this is so not normal!
What an utter hoodwanking thundercunt this 'man' is! If that's what he wants let him go and fill his boots then boot him out that door.

My first LTB on here.

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 06:45

Yuk. Ltb

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/10/2024 06:45

I can hazard a guess as to why your friends aren't his biggest fans and it'll be related to his lecherous behaviour.

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