Fed up of DH wanting to 'talk' about my friends

Jeezo, that crap must be eroding your confidence and self esteem little by little. I bet you are a shell of the confident woman you were before you met him.

He knows exactly what he is doing, don't believe him when he denies it or blames you. What he is talking about and saying is not a normal thing to say to a partner you love and respect.

Put yourself in the shoes of the woman you were before you met him and think what she would do. Bring her back.

He tries to tell me it's normal to talk about your friends like this

How can you even consider for a second that this is true? If my DH ever said anything like this I would be laughing at him and telling him to get a grip. If he said it a second time then I would be seriously considering ending it

He is emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusing you and dare I say sexually too. He is trying to isolate you from your friends. As overtime you will find yourself avoiding them, to stop his disgusting conversations as you attempt to regain some type of control. He is attempting to make you insecure.

If you don't have the good sense to get up and leave whilst you still can. You will find yourself a year or so from now, posting on here that your partner is now openly verbally abusing you, or posting 'I think my partner has assaulted me, but I'm not sure?" Or his cheating on you and you don't know what to do.

You're NOT any of the things he says, that's his insecurities talking and he's trying to make those your issues. Please, please don't allow this chaos to become your life and your children's lives anymore. I speak from experience and I know the hell you're about to go through.
His only just starting.

🤮

Tell him to grow the fuck up; and that, far from punching above your weight, you are seriously worried about the fact that he seems incapable of acting like normal mature men do.

What everyone else said. Utterly revolting. Not remotely normal. Completely disrespectful.

You need to leave him before your kids internalise the idea that women are sexual playthings for men. And before your self esteem falls through the floor.

Good grief. I can’t believe you even want to have sex with him once per week. I’ve got second hand ick. Your friend have got the measure of him by the sounds of things.

Tell him you’d love a threesome then pick out which one of his male friends it’s going to be with…

It's NOT NORMAL, come on! Surely you know this?!?

Like how does he do it? Are you having dinner snd he casually asks "if Jane was to hit on me, what would you do?" Or is it when you're about to be intimate "if Jane was here, would you like her to join us? Would you love to watch me do her?". I'm really struggling to understand how he can possibly bring it up in conversation.

Anyway. He's a creep. It is not a normal way to talk about spouses friends. I'd have the final talk with him. Basically that i don't appreciate him telling how he would like to cheat on me or suggesting that your friends would betray me. He needs to knock it off that it is completely innproprite. If he so desperately wants to have an affair then the status of the marriage needs to be re-evaluated. Threesome is not an option and don't bring it up again. We can try to have sex more frequently but for that to happen certain things need to change (insert list. Not as in sex is a reward but to make more time for it and creating a sexier atmosphere). But being a sexpest and fantasising about my friends is not cutting it.

God, I feel sick. This man tells you you're boring, he's more attractive than you, he openly fantasises about other people to get it up while with you including your FRIENDS? If this is real, you don't have a sex drive mismatch. You are sleeping with a manipulative egocentric twat. Get fucking rid.

Well he's a prince isn't he? He's obviously deeply sexually insecure. Do you want to stay with him? If so I would point out that you are offended by his comments and he must stop immediately. Then take it from there.

He sounds absolutely gross. Like skin crawling gross. What an awful man.

LTB

This is a strong case for throwing the whole man away and starting again.

Your posts scream to me that hes emotionally abusive and attempts coercive control with sulking when his emotional abuse is highlighted back to him.

Personally, if I were in your situation, my choices would be:
1 - Stay. Accept it will likely never change for the better. Know full well it may stay the same or he may get worse and end up blaming me when he cheats. There's also a case for a worrying example being set for the children on how relationships should be.

2 - Leave. Let him sit alone and think about my friends and pull his plonker till his hand is raw. Meanwhile, all my friends of course would be told why I left the creepy emotionally abusive twat.

Obviously, I'm not in you OP. So you'll have to figure out what choices you want to make.

The simple question is - do you want to live like this for the next year or 10?

He's definitely got a fantasy going in his head

This is not normal in a loving, healthy relationship.

Absolutely gross. I think my fanny would close over being married to him. You deserve a lot better.

What would happen if you talked about his friends?

„oh, Dave has such a nice head of hair! I can just imagine how nice it would feel to properly grab onto whilst he’s fucking me.“

“Could you imagine Rupert coming onto me? That would be so hot. Would I have to turn him down?“

“having a threesome with Basil? That would be truly spectacular. It would be so nice to have two men in bed with me!“

It could spectacularly backfire. Or he could realise that what being on the receiving end of his comments isn’t as exciting…

As for him telling you that you’re „punching above your weight“ and couldn’t do better? What an arse. He‘s being truly horrible! It’s a wonder that you still want to have sex with him at all. Once a week is truly impressive in this situation!

I'm impressed you still have sex with him once a week despite his repulsive talk.

Do you not have the ick with him yet?

It's not normal, at all.

Your husband sounds like a loser, hardly a catch. Drinker. Pushes wife for sex. Sex talks about her friends. Tells his wife (incorrectly) that she's punching above her weight. Yuck and how disrespectful. He's genuinely lucky to have you as I'm sure many women would have called things quit by now.

Time to grow some self confidence and shoot down that kind of behaviour (if you don't want to leave).

Aren’t you concerned about the safety of your children? This kind of overt predatory behaviour is a bloody big red flag op. Sexual deviants are not safe people to have around.

Is the bar for men really this low on MN? Totally unacceptable behaviour from him and definitely not normal.

Oh no op, this is terrible. Is this how you want your life to be?

I’d tell him he’s become a massive turn off.

🤮🤮🤮

You know you don’t have to live like this?