DH won’t pay into children’s savings accounts

Scrooge has no intentions of putting anything into tour childrens bank accounts, he's as tight as a ducks rear end.

His actions and his words demonstrate this.

YABU
If he is paying for most other things then what's the problem?
YABU to bring it up in front of your parents too if he is uncomfortable with it. How much he pays in to where is non of their business. That should be between you two.

Children can manage without savings accounts, it's not an essential. As long as all their needs are being met. It would be 'nice' for them to have a pot of money but not essential. £47k isn't exactly millions either.

When they are old enough they can get jobs and fill their own savings accounts.

You squandered the money at 18.

my child squandered hers at 18.
most children I know when given a lump sum at 18 squander it.

so I’m with you DH. I wouldn’t save for children to be given a lump sum or access to thousands at 18. The vast vast majority are not mature enough to spend it wisely

As a few posters have mentioned, it’s possible to save for your DCs without paying money into an account which they control. It’s too easy for the money to be frittered away in those circumstances.

I have savings accounts for my two DCs but I control them. My DCs also have their own accounts and birthday and Xmas money go into those. But in terms of having money to meet their future needs: those are my savings for them, not savings which they control.

My paternal grandmother had made savings accounts for my sister and me and we had £600 in each of them. That’s a tidy sum now but this was the late 1980s so it was worth even more then. I wasn’t really responsible enough to suddenly have that kind of money and I frittered it away.

So you live in a rented property and have a child whose disability means they will need support throughout their life. I suggest that you start saving for a deposit for your own house sharpish as you’d be far better off financially as owners rather than renters in your later years.

Reading all of your posts @CocoMaroon actually you really need to have this conversation about family income. Why oh why oh why are you paying 50% of the rent..!!! For gods sake pool your finances. This is a ridiculous set up for a married couple and he sounds like he doesn’t really want to support you or is resentful in some way. Sit down and have this discussion and reorganise so it is a shared pot for everyone. You are married!!

YABU.

You've accepted a very unequal financial situation where you work part-time (and take on a majority of the unpaid labour, including the care of his son, which enables him to continue to be successful in his career) and he keeps the money you enable him to earn.

That's your choice, it wouldn't be mine.

He's made it clear he has no intention of saving for your children. He's not procrastinating, it takes about 2 minutes to set up a standing order. He doesn't want to spend his money on that, and considering that you have agreed to a "my money/your money" split, he's entitled to do that.

He doesn't sound like a very nice person to me.

Then taking a year to get round to it is starting to beggar belief!

Maybe take a Saturday morning or some time when you have hours available or at least a full half an hour available and do it then.

If he's genuine, I don't understand how he can have an excuse if you are sitting right there waiting for him to do it. Make it a point of contention if it's important to you, don't just "live with" it, because that's how it's gone on this long.

You need to sit down together and look at the monthly budget. Stop seeing it as his pay and your pay. It’s ALL both of yours’ pay. Pay all income into joint one account. Pay all bills. What is left - decide what to save, what to give equally to both of you to spend as you like. You could put 100£ or whatever depending on what is left into kids accounts each month. Sounds like you don’t have a proper budget to me and the mentality is too individual on both sides. You are married and a family. One pot. Joint priorities. Good luck @CocoMaroon

Absolutely it is.

If you’re renting I’d be putting any disposable income into saving to buy a house, unless you’re lucky enough to have social housing.

If you believe he's just deprioritising it (possible, but seems less likely to me), just allocate a time for it and then at that time, sit there with him while he does it in front of you. Don't take no for an answer. Refuse other basic interactions with him until it's complete.

Err, isn't this abuse?

They're already getting money from their grandparents and the OP.

If the OP and her DH have separate money, she shouldn't be trying to control what he does with his.

If they just have a family income, then the money she's putting away is from both parents anyway.

Do you think he is pretending he will set up to put you off or do you think he is genuine and just not prioritising it?

If you think he's genuinely pretending he'll do it and has no intention of doing so, then you need to discuss that and get him to tell you directly how he feels about it, one way or another.

Honesty it's important.

If you believe he's just deprioritising it (possible, but seems less likely to me), just allocate a time for it and then at that time, sit there with him while he does it in front of you. Don't take no for an answer.
Refuse other basic interactions with him until it's complete.

I’m a single parent so I’m the only one earning, and I earn similar to what your husband does (used to earn more before reducing hours). My financial contribution to my children is that I house them, clothe them, feed them, buy them what they need and much of what they want, I keep the house warm and lit, and take them on holiday, and so on. I never had a savings account for them. Doesn’t make me a bad parent. It’s just a different way of spending money on the kids. And actually, I’d argue it’s better for me to spend the money on sensible stuff now, than for the kids to get a lump sum on turning 18 and spend it on beer!

You should be able to talk about money. Your views on savings do not trump his however.

But I would be majorly ticked off if he swore he would do something and then didn’t do it. One off mistake sure no biggie, but here he’s going “yeah yeah sure” multiple tines and then not doing it. So it’s passive, bad faith, and that would annoy me.

He’s allowed to disagree but it’s crappy communication not to have that discussion directly.

She earns less than him because she chose to work part time despite having teen children. Don’t infantilise her by pretending he made her do it to ‘further his own career’.

First of all, £47k isn’t a high income for someone with teen children. Myself and Dh earned around £65K when our Dc were teens - we didn’t have a great deal of spare cash and what we did have went towards our pensions. he’s doing absolutely nothing wrong.
However, embarrassing him in front of your parents was just awful! I’d be livid if my DH did this to me. Which he wouldn’t because he’s a nice person and loyal husband.