To feel quite so down about DC’s academics

Same here. High achiever with a son with inattentive ADHD. The good news is if you catch it early you can put loads of strategies in place to help her bloom. Also work on emotional intelligence and enjoyment of her physical body (sport etc) and creativity. In 20 years' time, manual trades and emotional carework will be the only things AI hasn't swallowed up anyway.

This was my daughter. She struggled all through infant/ junior school and just about got around 100s on her SATs with a LOT of extra tuition.

She couldn't focus, no memory- things in one ear and out of the other.

In year 9 the school suggested she get tested for ADD. It hadn't occurred to me before as I had a vision of ADHD people's being very "hyper" and she wasn't.
She had a very definite diagnosis and it took a while to get her medication sorted. She got extra time in exams as well.

Her predicted GCSE grades at the end of year 9 were 3/4s. She ended up with 8,7,7,7,6,6,6,5,4.

She's now at a Russell group uni and it's going well. We carefully picked a less traditionally academic course (marketing) where she can choose modules which are coursework based as she's dreadful at exams. Her last piece of work got a first (the only one on the course!) She's never be traditionally academic but she'll be fine.

It was a long and stressful road though, and we were very fortunate to be able to pay for the assessment as otherwise she'd have never been seen.

@yalta a psychiatrist is a doctor!

So, what support is in place within class to support your child?

Doctors don’t diagnose ADHD

They refer to a psychiatrist

This sounds exactly like DS except his reading ability was 0

He was diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADHD

Keep in mind schools don’t want your child diagnosed with anything as it becomes a cost and a hassle to them

FWIW DS’s English handwriting is still abysmal but his Chinese is the neatest and most legible you could imagine.

You can't rely on schools these days. Take matters into your own hands. Get a tutor who will make maths and english fun, and bribe your dc with toys or whatever to do this. Or, get some books and do it with him yourself - not easy if he's resistant, but books for each year group are very cheap on Amazon. You can pick them up for as little as £2-£3.

I think there is quite a misconception that you just send a kid to school and the kid does how it does. It isn't true. You can make a massive difference.

Sounds like my son who was eventually diagnosed with Dyslexia and adhd. Don't expect teachers to flag these up. They do not have a clue about SEND (unless they happen to have a child of their own who has SEND)

Doctors won’t diagnose ADHD unless it can be confirmed in two settings: home and school. From what you are saying the school won’t confirm it? I’d get a tutor… and see if you can work on the subjects you’ve listed. We have found our DD won’t listen to us very well (or focus when asked), but her private school have zero concerns. Good luck OP.

I have always felt the same with my eldest. I was very acdemic, top of my classes and great grades, and just struggled massively with the fact that she wasn't in any way similar. I was always worried about her (still am now she's 20!) and it's horrible to watch as everything has always been so hard for her.
She wasn't ever academic and just as you describe homework was always a nightmare for her. Years later and I can still remember the sheer frustration and despair of trying to do basic phonics (took until 7 to master) and maths was so much worse. She just had no basic understanding of times tables, 4 months of trying to get her to understand that 4x5 was the same as 5x4 was a particular low of the primary school days. She also had the issue of not being great at sport or music or anything really, so she always felt awful as she had no talents to compensate for the lack of academics, and she had to watch her siblings breeze through school work effortlessly.
My next two are the polar opposite, could both read by the age of 3, ultra academic and very bright. The honest truth is life is easier for them and always has been. For us it's been an unfortunate fact that the school system is brilliant for the academic ones, but a long struggle with little help if you are at the bottom.
I hope things get easier for your DC and they are just a slow starter, at this stage it could easily change. But if it doesn't fingers crossed that you find a more supportive secondary school than we did.
Sorry for the the negativity, but I know exactly how you feel, and it is hard watching your child struggle. I think it is important to see if there could be anything else going on - my daughter finally got an autism diagnosis at 18 thanks to the far superior support she has received at university. Her schools refused to check for a diagnosis as she was well behaved and very quiet, so we had the possibility completely dismissed.

The inattentiveness could be adhd.

go straight to an ed psych and get a full evaluation.
it will greatly help highlight your child's strengths and weaknesses and give you concrete examples of best to help.

I'd be trying a tutor

I don't think your daughter suits that particular classroom environment. It sounds quite stifling. In a different type of school, she might well blossom.

How is her imagination, does she read, make up stories, role play, sing? What does she do to occupy herself when on her own?

Don't be disappointed, your little girl is only seven and has plenty of time but she needs to be able to develop in her own way.

She's 7!! Many countries who have excellent academic achieving young people don't even start them at school until 6!
My DS wasn't interested in the slightest at 7. He's now expecting A*AA at Alevels.

Forgot to say the one with the Masters was finally also diagnosed with ADHD last year and the medication has been life changing for him.

My profoundly dyslexic son - couldn’t read until he was 9 and was the source of many tears over school, both his and mine - graduated last week with a Masters of Teaching having already completed a BA majoring in Ancient History. If you would have told me this would happen years ago I would have laughed in your face. My other dyslexic son who also struggled big time at school also has a degree and a successful career. I know it is hard when you are in the thick of it but just keep supporting your son and let him know you will always have his back. Lots of cuddles on bad days and having out of school interests help.

So I have a child who experiences challenges where I didn’t growing up. It’s hard to let them be who they are and not project our hopes/expectations and fears onto them. It’s an adjustment when they develop differently to the child we had in our mind when we conceived! What I find helps is to acknowledge where he struggles and even more to play to his strengths and passions. What does your child really enjoy? Embrace and play to that, whatever it is.

You what! You rude nasty person. My children all have diagnoses (that they received in primary school around the age of 8/9) and are very happy kids. The only advice I gave was to basically leave it until 8 years old to diagnose, as some kids just need a bit more time and don't actually have dyslexia (my youngest doesn't).

Inattentive adhd is what I thought reading your OP. Get your DC checked out, they cab definitely catch up with the right support.

My son is similar, diagnosed with ASD. I was like you and found school really easily academically (not sociably). My son is almost the other way round. It’s been a surprise but I just try to focus on supporting him.

When he was a toddler he was incredibly ill for a long time, culminating in needing surgery. That has put everything else since in perspective for me. Seeing him in pain and barely able to move in hospital and not knowing if he would make it through without long term health issues makes some wonky writing seem pretty inconsequential.

My friend got her ds a tutor at this age. , The tutor helped with basics and foundations, and explained to child they needed to cover a few bases, and this big of extra effort now would mean they'd fly in later years. The child wasn't convinced to start with, but agreed.

Agree that 7 is young, however, DD was that age when we got her a tutor because she was struggling in school and falling behind - esp with reading and writing.
We started to be concerned, but her teacher at the time wasn't. But her new teacher in the following year immediately agreed with us when we raised the possibility of dyslexia!
DD is super-bright, comprehension is off the chart, very articulate.
School have put an individual support plan in place, and we are starting the official assessment now to get a diagnosis.
Dyslexia comes in many shapes and sizes.

Your DD sounds very like me at age 7. I'm probably neurodiverse but either way I was a late bloomer. Interestingly so was my dad and so is one of my children. We've all been noticeably behind as young children only to go on to become very academic. Both my dad and I have multiple degrees including a PhD and my daughter just aced her GCSEs. A lot can change. As others have said, 7 is still so young. Just keep reading to her, engaging with her about anything and encouraging any interests.