The way some people let toddlers behave......

Oh my god 😂. I didn't know the parents of these tiny bullies in training would be interested enough in parenting to be on mumsnet.

Fast forward 10 years, these exact same toddlers will be smashing up the estate and holding other teens at knifepoint for their bikes.

The people who suffer most from those who don't 'parent', to use a phrase, are the parents themselves. If not when they are nursery or early primary school age, then later on.

The teacher's observation does not surprise me.

I expect if schools had been able to resume in person teaching at least for a day a week in the summer term of 2020, some of the issues would be less.

My son has just started reception, he isn't the most perfectly behaved child (at least not at home 🤣) but he'll come home and say, in a genuinely confused tone, about how some of the kids "never listen" or "never do what the teacher asks" or whatever. It makes me smile a bit because, like I say, he's no perfect angel child and I explain some kids find different things hard, like sitting still or listening etc. My son is autistic and thrives on the structure and routine of school, in fact he finds the "free flow" times the hardest bits of the day.

What a lot of sense you are speaking @rainbowstardrops . Not welcome on here lol 😂

I always wondered whether this attitude was a British thing, because since living abroad I've not experienced it at all. Even young children are incredibly patient with younger children and toddlers, because they're taught to be - not to mention adults! Racing to move a toddler or trying to sit them still here would be seen as so weird - people would tell you not to worry and just be smiling at the toddler.

Toddlers are supposed to do these things! It's a natural and healthy way to behave! It's an innocent little baby exploring the world. Just chill. It's not a big deal. Your older child can be taught patience, and to understand that little babies aren't able to understand how to behave like older children. It's absurd to imply that the toddler is doing anything wrong, or that the parent will be able to make them sit quietly and not touch anything that isn't theirs/get in anyone's way, etc.

We live across from a small playground - the type designed for toddlers, very small slides, little playhouse in the shape of a ship with some swings. The type that would be boring and too small for kids over 5. Rather than walking 5 minutes to the full sized playground you get some parents of older kids bring them in and then just sit on their phones or chat to their friends while the older kids swing from the top
of the ship, climb the wrong way up the slide and ride scooters around the play area at speed. The kids are acting out as they’re bored and the area isn’t suitable which is massively annoying as it is terrifying when they are dangling over toddlers heads of hurling at them at speed.

I had an 8 year old girl get really aggressive and angry - giving out that my toddler was too slow going up the climbing frame for the slide. I gently explained to her that she was little once and you can’t shout at little kids. She got very frustrated - she then proceeded to follow us for 20mins and jump in front of my daughter and grab whatever she was about to play with so definite mental health issues and no parent in sight, it was scary and obsessive behaviour.

There is a play place near us that has the play part and the cafe separated so you have to leave the play area to have a drink and they have signs everywhere saying an adult must remain with the kid - it is relatively large - about 10% of parents ignore the sign and leave their 2/3 year olds alone in there and they are always the worst for snatching and hitting, the toddlers often come over to us with toys too looking for any adult to play with them. It’s depressing that kids that young are abandoned alone in a room with 20-30 strangers with a parent occasionally glancing over a gate in the distance.

my opinion might be unwelcome and not agreed with, and i am not for one second advocating for bringing back smacking before anyone starts, however, as someone that has had SS called on us for disciplining my kids in public (we physically removed our 5yo from a soft play who was having a violent meltdown and had to restrain him, SS were understanding and it went no further), i have to say, a lot of parents are scared to discipline in public because of how people judge/tut/view doing ANYTHING with kid these days.

THey're all viewed as precious little darlings who you mustn't shout at or upset.

It's all gone very much the wrong way. Modern parenting and rules do not make for kids with manners.

definitely not!!!! Dunno what @Heronwatcher is on about

Please look for the parent and go raise your issue with them instead. I feel like some parents go for the child to avoid confronting the parent. The parent is responsible for the child so go speak to them, whilst removing your child from the situation/looking after your child. I had another parent tell my son (age 4) he was "naughty" and a situation where a parent told their child loudly in front of me that my son was "unkind". But actually he is autistic and couldn't cope with their child invading his personal space (as 4 year olds do) and in the other situation the other child removed a toy from his line up of toys at a play cafe (which is known to cause meltdowns in autistic children). My son is my first experience of autism so often I am learning about him in social situations as well, and even adopting all possible parenting measures these incidents can still occur. He used to be fine with me watching from a few metres away, but now we have to be within arms reach as he can be so unpredictable. I'd rather parents raised complaints with me directly than approach my child without any knowledge of his background, age or neurodiversity. I mentioned in an earlier post he also looks much older than he is, so what another parent thinks is age appropriate may be wrong.

The OP is neither smug or resentful @wishingplenty she's just fed up of disengaged parents like a lot of us are

My husband was pushing our grandchild quite high on a swing and had to rush to instantly stop it so that a toddler did not get hit in the head. The parent was on their phone.
As an oldie I am stunned by people on their phones when out with children. I can’t believe the number of parents on a call when pushing a small child in a push chair. They should be chatting and engaged with the child, pointing out things as they go along.
There is some debate about who are the worst behaved ( grandparents/ fathers etc ) at parks. In my opinion, in London parks, the professional nannys are the ones always on their phones and not looking after their charge.

The reality is, without parental intervention, eventually a little kid would think, "bugger this," and slide down, bulldozing the slide-climbers. Lesson learnt.
The problem now is that those of us who do parent have almost done too good a job. With our children giving up on games because they "know" not to tell off the younger child or physically remove them (in whatever way).
Oh and for PP, South Asian kids are also massively indulged in this way, it is not unique to Europe or the UK. Polo matches with kids running around by the field, running around in front of the cinema screen, out until all hours, overtired and killing the mood in restaurants... It's definitely not just the UK suffering!

👆this kind of person is your problem. Same people who trot out the “boys will be boys” line. Well… no if you parent them. Try it!

Yes, they do act like that. And it's their parents job to move them along/remove them from situations like that when they aren't in the complying mode. Else it's not fair to everyone else trying to enjoy their own days out!

This is more about lazy, shit parenting than anything else ... parents who can't be arsed to monitor their toddlers and remove them when they're a nuisance/problem/causing issues for others ... as opposed to sitting on their arses drinking coffee watching them ruin it for everyone else.

Just because it is ‘normal and expected behaviour for that age of development’ does NOT mean you just sit back and do nothing and allow it to bother other people. You cagole, distract, pick up and yes, deal with the screaming and tantrums…

That’s what good parenting is. And it’s about teaching your child to live in community with others.

Honestly, some parents are entirely selfish and thick as pig shit and lack any basic common sense or consideration…🙄

YANBU op.

It's not uniquely British, the example I gave earlier in the thread was an eastern European family.

Don’t think she’s being smug or forgetting, she’s talking about parents just letting their toddlers get in the way/be in potentially dangerous situations. Why do some parents just look on and not intervene? I’m aware it’s a full time job, out with 7 kids under 12 recently (plus various adults) and all of us were vigilant, keeping little ones safe/out of other dcs’ way. We had to intervene with someone else’s dc who was about 9 and was shoving ours out of the way. No idea who/where the parent was.

You are unreasonable for saying mildly autistic. There's no such thing

As someone who has a toddler (20 months) I’ve noticed it’s the opposite, I’m like glue when we are out making sure she doesn’t harm herself and all my friends are the same.
Meanwhile the older children are running riot knocking over the smaller children, breaking/snatching things and not a parent actually parenting in sight.

The trampoline thing reminded me of a local shopping centre with a small play area. Most of it was quite dull but there was a small inset trampoline thing that DD liked to play on even at 8/9. However after a couple of visits she didn’t want to even go near the play area because she couldn’t get on the trampoline for love nor money. She’d stand next to it waiting her turn patiently but as soon as a child go off a small kid would run from elsewhere and get on before her. Every time. And the parent would just give her a “oh he’s only little” look and not take them off. So as a well-behaved “big kid” she could never get on the one item in the play area that suited her age group.

Toddlers gonna toddle

Find it hard to get worked up about babies being babies!

This is untrue.

Yes it is a stage of development. No, you don’t just let them grow out of it.

Parenting a toddler takes constant effort. I worked and parented mine. I found it so hard, I decided never to do it again and stick to one child.

But I did parent constantly. He held my hand. I never let him do any of the types of things op described in the opening post. I talked to him constantly. I watched him constantly.
I haven’t forgotten, but I realised that my son’s behaviour, even as a toddler, reflected on me as a parent.

I never sat back on the sidelines, scrolling on my phone hoping other people would entertain him, or just let him run wild so I could take a break. I never saw a day trip as a form of child care. I never expected everyone should find my toddler cute and let him push in, or disrupt their day. I also recognised that not being present when my son was playing, put him at risk.

’Some’ parents today are lazy and entitled and they’ll shout the loudest when you try to remind them they have a toddler they should be watching. If you are upset by this statement, then ask yourself why.

@Xtraincome

The most dangerous in society are those who can manipulate others into doing awful things while standing back laughing Scott free . Prison is full of people who have fallen victim to these monsters.

I agree, it's really crap parenting to expect older children to tolerate inappropriate toddler behaviour, in areas that are clearly aimed at older kids. We have this at the trampoline park my DS14 goes to. There's a specific area for advanced skills that clearly states over 11 only. Despite there being a designated under 5s zone, plus the rest of the park, there are nearly always toddlers wandering in with their parents watching them, thinking it's cute that they want a go on the pinball wall. And then being pissed off when a teenage boy politely asks them to move so he doesn't do a back flip into said bloody toddler.

I was on a cruise once and someone brought a toddler to the late night comedian slot. They proceeded to let the child run around, go up to the stage and generally disrupt the show. The poor comedian was desperately trying to soldier on but it really was so distracting - parents just watched on in a “aww isn’t she cute” manner!