To say dh can take kids to Spain without me?

I don’t think you are unreasonable to say no, but I do think you are unreasonable to suggest that you should have the £400.

It sounds very tit for tat. Are your resources not pooled? It may be that you might wish to do something for yourself, but to actually state that you should take the money instead sounds a bit selfish and grabby to be honest. Also, I think you are setting a bad example to your children for their future relationships and how they should support their partner in the future. Also I think you shouldn’t have had this conversation in front of the kids (too late now i know) as you’ve now opened a can of worms and set a precedent for the future which I feel will be difficult to navigate.

i love Christmas also, why do you continue with your narrative?

The question originally was not about a traditional Christmas but about OP saying should I say DP can take the children away without me (it’s in the title).

I get later the OP says oh but I want and grieve a traditional Christmas, (whilst saying let DH take the kids away and I want £400 a “joke”, to stay home) but the original reasons were work, cold, childless sister.

Im not sure why you’re so fixated on “it’s all about loving Christmas here” you know the snow (?), the ice cover skating on the rivers (?), the stars in the sky… but OL is happy without any of that without her family (that’s more about Christmas for me, than sleet and rain), S

But us the title says OP says is she unhappy to tell DH to take the kids without her? She doesn’t care!

But asking for £400 and getting her teen involved for another £400 is vile!

Anyway, have a happy lonely (snowy?) Christmas, it that means more to you than family!!

Why do you continue with this? It’s really strange. I love Christmas here, you clearly don’t, that’s not my problem. I hope you find peace.

PMSL!!

The chances in the UK of snow at Easter is higher my lovely!!

Bitter and jealous of what…. My 56th UK Christmas?

Glad your vile post to me was deleted! You sound awful.

You sound so bitter and jealous. The U.K. is particularly special at Christmas. 🎅🏻

Oh yes those marvellous white UK Christmases, so renowned for the magic….

*unsurprisingly

Do you tho the teen should be awarded £400 as well? I’m not sure why you think the DH is a “snowflake”, would you not be upset if your DH and teen spoke to you like that? If not raise your bar.

but OP has acknowledged and apologised for her comment.

Unlike the one that was u surprisingly deleted!

Some people when they have people pointing out their errors, just turn unpleasant!

Will the holiday home be heated? From experience, such places in ‘hot’ countries can feel pretty bloody chilly in the colder months.

The U.K. is magical at Christmas with so much to do, especially when it snows ☃️ so I can definitely see why you and teens would like to stay.

I would go just to be away from the UK for Christmas but we are all different.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable I think it just sounds like more stress imho I couldn’t think of nothing worse than going on “holiday” at Christmas and is it really a holiday when it going to be freezing? I hate the cold so this really wouldn’t be my cup of tea I don’t even think the money comment was that bad either I think some people are just snowflakes I think if the kids don’t really want to go they shouldn’t be forced to either

There's nothing horrible in that message 🤣

Mmm ye OK

Maybe @Savingthehedgehogs should join me… ?

The irony…. Again!

Why are you still doing this? Honestly, just take your boots off and have a nice cup of camomile or something.

But you are over invested?

Good that OP had the decency to apologise, for her “light heated joke, in a marriage in a poor state”?

Oh well I’m glad you apologised, I hope you also spoke to your teen and told them you were wrong to try and make a monetary transaction to get the money to spend on yourself. That’s not how families work, each taking a percentage of the holiday money to spend on themselves.

Hopefully, he’ll go, the children will go and all have fun. You of course can stay home without the £400. He had good reason to do this, as he doesn’t like the same things you do and Christmas and wanted a change, not unreasonable at all.

If your marriage is in poor shape, this won’t have helped.

Hopefully he has accepted your apology.

Also I hate that you refer to your sil as childless. You say nothing else about her that is the some being of her existence.

I think don't go if you don't want to but expecting £400 is a but tacky. As is speaking about it in front of the kids. If my OH did this to me I'd be appalled. Sorry OP you are wrong.
I'm sure being with family at Christmas is more than just having a pool to swim in. There are probably lots of things to do. Expecting £400 each for you and your teen seems mean and petulant.

This is ridiculous. I sm NOT op!! I am a completely different poster, feel free to check 🙄

That all makes perfect sense to any reasonable person op. I felt your cash comment was said lightly and not meant in any way.

I sincerely hope you can create a traditional lovely Christmas for your family this year, I know it can stir up lots of emotions - hence your blurt op, be kind and compassionate with yourself. It sounds like there is a big back story, just to say many of us support your decision, would do the same and do not perceive you as materialistic!

Sending hugs