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AIBU?

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Original poster

If you are an overnight guest in someone's home do you treat the bedroom you're staying in as though it's one of the communal areas?

135 replies

bluebirdholiday · 05/10/2024 22:32

Genuine question,

Am just back from staying with a friend in the states. So I was a guest in their apartment, had a bedroom of my own. The apartment is all on one level and 'my' room was tucked away right at the end so not off a main thoroughfare.

I only had a small carry on bag of stuff as only there for a long weekend, but I guess I had things out in the room. Not dirty socks or whatever, but stuff on the dressing table and maybe I'd draped my clothes over the back of the chair.

Anyway, she had visitors over and really told me off about my 'messy' bedroom and how I had to tidy it up as people were coming over and they'd be in there.

I'd honestly never heard of this before. If I have house guests I don't go in to their bedrooms while they're staying let alone ask them to pack away all traces of their stuff?

I ask genuinely if AIBU as I'm not sure if this is an American thing, a general thing or I am nbu to have expected that I could put my things out in the guest bedroom.

OP posts:
MathsMum3 · 05/10/2024 22:39

Very odd! So what happened when the other visitors were there at the appartment? Did they go into your room, and if so why? I can't think of any reason why this might happen!

RustyBear · 05/10/2024 22:38

I saw something on Instagram recently about the differences between the US & UK and apparently it’s a thing in some parts of the US to give visitors a tour of the whole house, including bedrooms. maybe that’s what she was planning to do?

tulippa · 05/10/2024 22:38

Did you keep your door wide open? If not, how does your host know what the state of the room is?

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/10/2024 22:36

Your friend is odd. If someone is staying at my house, their room is all theirs for the stay. I wouldn't go in without asking, and I wouldn't expect other visitors to the house to go in at all. There's no need!

DinaofCloud9 · 05/10/2024 22:36

I feel the same as you. Strange comments from your host.

Sage396 · 05/10/2024 22:35

That's odd! We had guests recently and I did need to access the room because we use the wardrobe in there but I asked them before going in.

Hazeby · 05/10/2024 22:35

Seems odd to me. Why would they go into the bedroom anyway?

Like you, I don’t go into the guest room in my own house when people are staying in it. It’s their private space for the duration of their visit.

sarahzbaker · 05/10/2024 22:35

In my opinion, as a host, the bedroom that a guest stays in is private until they leave.
Weird and unwarranted behaviour. Why would they even enter?

eurochick · 05/10/2024 22:34

If I have guests I treat the room as theirs for the duration of the stay. If I need to get something from the room I ask first if it's ok (in case they want to go and put their pants away or whatever before I go in).

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 05/10/2024 22:34

Why would guests be in and out of the room you’re staying in anyway? I don’t understand that?

If I’m staying with someone, my stuff is all over the room (neatly of course) for the duration of my stay. People are strange!