If you are an overnight guest in someone's home do you treat the bedroom you're staying in as though it's one of the communal areas?

strange friends

Also..maybe you are a tiny bit sensitive. Perhaps she isn't berating you and you are just taking it the wrong way. Like...i can be harsh and playful with my sister about her messes because we are so close. So is it possible she is poking fun at you and you are the one feeling embarrassed and out of place? Perhaps she feels close enough to you to tell you that you're messy and that her guests will judge her.

She was upset that you had underwear on the clothes horse??? Why did you ever go and visit her? She sounds insane.

I went to the house of an American mother of 3 young children (one is 7 months) with my 5 month old last week. I proceeded to discreetly feed my fussing baby. She was all "oh yes, go ahead!!!" as if I had asked her if I could breastfeed in her home. I was like "oh, I breastfeed her anywhere and any time." Eyeroll.
She's from Virginia...

I'm Canadian. But I honestly have only met one normal American in my life. I would have closed the bedroom door and treated that bedroom as off limits to other guests or visitors because I'm a stellar host and want my overnight guests to feel cozy and cared for.

I have an electric kettle - have had one for years. No problem with the voltage. I think the non-electric kettle thing is more that americans don't drink that much tea or instant coffee. Most people who don't have a kettle will have a coffee maker.

I have a friend who is using my son’s room ,she is from NZ .She has been away for a few weeks, and I have only been in room to change bedclothes,dust etc !

Kettles on the stove isn’t cultural. It’s due to power required. They only have 110volts. Boiling a kettle using electric kettles takes ages out there, so they use the rice or microwave the water.
We have 230volts so we can use electric kettles without waiting an age.

Reminds me of my gran. She had a hidden line behind her shed for womens underwear to be hung up. As she got older she used to hang her own stuff up in her en suite. It's a very old fashioned thing

I feel EXACTLY the same! Stayed at an inn on Nantucket, USA once, and we all had to sit at one big breakfast table and have our breakfast with about a dozen other people! Like a dinner party with 12 strangers except it's early in the morning, you're pre-caffeine, and you're barely awake!

Let's hear it for Premier Inn!

I, too, HATE being a houseguest!

That’s very odd. I wouldn’t go in a guest’s room unless I needed something specific and then I’d ask permission. It’s a private space.

If I have a guest in my spare room, it's absolutely theirs. When I have guests sleeping in my spare room and in my sitting room - which is open plan - the sitting room is their space and we use the conservatory as a sitting room. Privacy is very important to me so I assume it is to other people too, particularly if you're staying away from home.

She sounds totally batshit. A guest bedroom should be private to the guest unless otherwise specified IN ADVANCE of the visit.

Terrible host.

I live in Boston. She is weird. It is a her thing - berating you when she opened your boxroom as well - something going on with her. She's a weirdo about this.

No one I know goes into their guest's rooms when guests are staying there.

The "house tour" thing is a thing I've encountered in Ireland and the US - I've encountered it more here - and more from Irish people but that is because we live in an older and quite traditional american house so non US visitors love seeing it.

Yeah americans use the tumble dryer way more than europeans but it is very hip in Boston to dry on clothes horses or on the line and also loads of people do it because it is cheaper.

If she has other lovely redeeming qualities, then chalk it up to her one weird thing.

I hope you are enjoying your trip - Boston is a great city.

Did you ask why the friends were in 'your bedroom' when they'd been to the house before, therefore unlikely to be a tour? Very odd! If we have someone staying and I needed something in their room I'd ask them before going in. I would absolutely not be taking randoms on there!

Regarding 'tours', I used to live in a 2 bed flat, 1 level with a small corridor. A colleague met at mine, before we headed out. We walked into the lounge- so she could see every room anyway- then asked for a tour! She didn't just stand at the door to the bedrooms- but walked inside, looked around, moved the curtains to see the view and even opened wardrobe doors!!! She is Slovakian, and I don't know if that is a cultural thing? If I've ever been shown around someones house (at THEIR request) I'd stand at the door and give a cursory look, not go into the bedroom and touch things!

A friend in the US had to put some stuff out to dry in the garden as their 3 kids had noro and she simply couldnt get it dry in the tumble dryer quick enough. It was the height of summer in Texas. Her NDN reported her to the HOA because drying washing outside was against their rule and SHOCK HORROR!!!!! her son and husband saw her underwear!

Friend had inherited her house from her grandparents and much to the NDN's annoyance, she wasnt part of the HOA as her house predated theirs by decades so she just ignored it all but was slagged off to all and sundry by the NDN.

I have seen this posted about on MN too, but according to my friend the very conservative viewpoint of things that like this is very very prevelant in the US.

My guests are entitled to their privacy and their room would not be on show to anyone. I wonder whether she is a neat freak.

I used to have friends like that.

Well my gran thinks that drying clothes on radiators and hanging underwear out anywhere visible in your house is "an absolutely terrible thing to do " (verbatim quote) so maybe your friend is very old fashioned...?

That's very odd. I don't go in bedrooms when I visit people.

This sort if thing is why I would never be a houseguest, and even hate small B&B's or guesthouses! Give me an anonymous Premier Inn every time.

Perhaps her letting yourself in to a room you didnt show her is what she expects from her other guests. As for berating you for having underwear on the clothes horse, wtf?!

Well yes I didn't think I'd have to clarify that when I say US thing I don't actually mean every single American all over the US! But it is apparently a thing in some places over there. Same as 'Europe' or indeed any other region - there will be variations in culture/mores.

Anyhow I think we can all agree that this would be considered very odd in many UK homes and also in many US homes!