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Husband not letting me txt friends partner

85 replies

Westcoastlass · 05/10/2024 21:32

My friend turns 40 this month so i text her partner asking if he is arranging a surprise party? As he mentioned before he was.
I was out with my husband and kids today after dinner i seen i had a few messages from him asking advice on what to buy her, giving me a date for her party, letting me know whos coming. I text back saying brilliant xx i let my husband know and basically its 9.15pm Saturday night and he has spent the last 2 hours amgry , saying i should not have text him, he should let us know.. saying because i put a kiss at the end he will get the wrong idea. He sent 4 or 5 messages and i sent a 1 word reply but my husband thinks rather than my reply saying brilliant i shoukd have just replied "ok" i have spent 2 hours crying as i feel like he is dictating who i text and what i say. Hes saying theres something fishy going ok, when i accused him of being a bully and dictator he said im welcome to him . I burst out crying i didnt know where to tur n or who to turn to i felt like jumping off a bridge. Im in my daughters bed and i am.shaking like a leaf i cant stop crying . This couple we are both friends with thete is 100% nothing going on i genuinely just wanted to find out if my frined was having a birthday party but my husband is saying im taking it all the wrong way, its because he has sent me 5 messages back and might send me a few in the run up with times or venue change or asking advice or a gift he might not or he may text my husband about it as we are all friends, i get he doesnt want him texting me loads but i am.not in a habit of texting him.or any other males at all. i dont think i have done anything wrong i have spent the evening in tears he did apologise for shouting but then keeps saying i should not have text him and why do i even have to know when the party is i should have just left it? Saying hes not going to the party i can go myself so now i am even more upset and i dont think he is sorry at all. Hr went up stairs and said he cant be in the same room as me i cant sleep i dont know who to turn to i cant stop crying . Am i in the wrong?

OP posts:
Westcoastlass · 05/10/2024 22:03

Yes we have kids, mortgage together . I dont want to split up i just dont know what to do or who to turn to or how to get him to see my point of view - we could have had a nice Saturday night but instead he has got angry and i have spent the night crying over something trivial but he does not think it is trivial i just dont understand how he can listen to me cry for hours and not care -possible adhd so maybe lacks empathy?????

OP posts:
bitsalty · 05/10/2024 22:03

Westcoastlass · 05/10/2024 21:58

I have been telling him my point of view i even got angry at 1 point and told him he is being a dictator and bully but he said i.am not seeing his point of view, he says sorry for upsetting me but then continues to say i should not be asking if he is orgonising a party for my friend, dictates how i should have replied, saying sending "xx" at the end will be giving him the wrong idea- i send xx to everyone and i have never ever given him this impression as my husband knows i am not interested in any other men. I lovehim so much & i am devastated he thinks this of me and doesnt see how much he has affected me tonight- he said i have hurt him just as much?

He doesn't have a valid point of view so stop listening to his bullshit. You've done absolutely nothing wrong at all and this is all on your husband.
Has he been jealous and possessive before?

Please be careful in case this escalates.

yeesh · 05/10/2024 22:02

Your husband is an abusive cunt

StSwithinsDay · 05/10/2024 21:58

I burst out crying i didnt know where to tur n or who to turn to i felt like jumping off a bridge. Im in my daughters bed and i am.shaking like a leaf i cant stop crying

How old is your daughter?
And this is a huge over-reaction - thinking about killing yourself??

Westcoastlass · 05/10/2024 21:58

I have been telling him my point of view i even got angry at 1 point and told him he is being a dictator and bully but he said i.am not seeing his point of view, he says sorry for upsetting me but then continues to say i should not be asking if he is orgonising a party for my friend, dictates how i should have replied, saying sending "xx" at the end will be giving him the wrong idea- i send xx to everyone and i have never ever given him this impression as my husband knows i am not interested in any other men. I lovehim so much & i am devastated he thinks this of me and doesnt see how much he has affected me tonight- he said i have hurt him just as much?

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 05/10/2024 21:49

There is something wrong with your husband. He is not wired up right. However, I'm a bit concerned that you didn't feel able to just tell him to stop being an idiot, and instead you wanted to jump off a bridge and you've been crying for hours. Does he often behave like this towards you and make you feel awful? What would happen if you told him to stop being such an utter moron?

cuddlebear · 05/10/2024 21:34

Your husband is an abusive Wankbadger.

Do you have children together? What’s your financial/housing situation?

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 05/10/2024 21:34

Oh God this is awful. Is he normally so jealous?

Gymmum82 · 05/10/2024 21:34

Your husband is a twat.

Thfrog · 05/10/2024 21:32

Oh dear me. I'm so sorry. Your husband is a controlling arse.

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