Partner’s crazy ex wife.

That may not be the case with your DP but you can't blame people for asking about it.

People aren't "asking about it." They're riding that dead fucking horse while ignoring OP's actual problem until OP has given up entirely.

OP was there at the time. She saw her partner put in a no-win situation, where he could either agree to the mother's ask to pause in-person visits or be framed as the asshole ex who didn't care about the life of her poor elderly grandparent. And they don't have a court-ordered custody agreement and the mum's was DS's primary residence, so the reality is the mother could have refused to allow visits anyways... by the time the dad could go through court proceedings to force visits lockdown would have been long over.

Personally, I don't think a man agreeing to suspend in-person visits at the request of the child's mother, to protect someone's health, and instead buying his child weekly gifts and doing zoom calls with them is all that abusive.

No-one else seems to have been in this situation, because the CMS really doesn't just 'believe' the resident parent about an absent parent's salary increasing - not without evidence. That's just not been posters' experience at all.
But this isn't about a salary increase, it's about a change in the number of overnight stays (or an alleged change).

This seems a good option.

OP I agree with others, just block her on everything except DP's mobile and just don't rise to the bait. Some people just like attention. She sounds a nightmare.

I do agree with others though that the lock down thing doesn't add up. A PP put it really well when she said how would you feel if your baby was at their dad's and you didn't know if you'd see them again for a long time, wouldn't you check the rules? I appreciate this feels a small piece of the puzzle to you and like people are getting fixated on something minor but often with abusive men it is all small signals that eventually add up to a full blown abuser - or just a selfish ahole. That may not be the case with your DP but you can't blame people for asking about it.

You are wrong because plenty of us fought hard on many a thread to ensure children had access generally to their dads.

My point still stands no parent who is worth their salt would never have sacrificed access.

No-one else seems to have been in this situation, @UpsetGirlx, because the CMS really doesn't just 'believe' the resident parent about an absent parent's salary increasing - not without evidence. That's just not been posters' experience at all.

And this, as many posters have pointed out, is incorrect, so that's why posters didn't experience it:

'My fiancé obviously couldn’t see his child at this time due to Covid restrictions'

In such circumstances as you've described they tend also to stay off social media using real names and photographs.

So you seem to have been in a perfect storm of unusual, multiple circumstances. My practical advice would be for your DP to update his knowledge on his rights at all times, and stay off social media as far as possible.

No thanks. I've looked at every thread you posted in with the word "lockdown" and couldn't find a single one where one parent was seeking to prevent contact (for whatever reason) for the duration of lockdown.

And even if there was a thread with these exact same circumstances and you thought the non-resident parent should somehow force contact, I doubt half of the posters who are now condemning the OP's DP for acquescing to the wishes of the child's mother would have done so at the time.

I don't know the law on this in the UK, but it sounds like he has a solid case to sue her for harassment. He needs to gather up all the evidence he has (emails and texts, I hope he kept them) and engage a lawyer to send her a cease and desist warning letter. Often that alone will do the trick.
If it doesn't work he can then decide if he wants to take her to court. It's his problem to solve, not yours. If he won't do anything about it, you'll then need to decide if you want to stay in this relationship.

I went through something similar for 10 years.

He needs to communicate with her only when strictly necessary. Short conversations only, straight to the point and if possible by email, no personal call, whatsapp, social media or messages. Keep records of everything.

Try to avoid mentioning things you wouldn't want her to know in front of the kid if at all possible.

Don't allow her antics to interfere in your personal life. I know how difficult it is, believe me. Try your best to keep her out of your life as much as possible.This situation is temporary.

If you are arguing with your partner because of her, she is achieving exactly what she wants. The last thing she wants is for you two to be happy, so try your best to set things in place so you can live your best life. The kid is 12, and he won't remain a kid forever. The little power she has over you has an expiry date.

Look harder there were plenty.

I couldn't find a relevant thread you posted on I'm afraid.

This woman sounds a bit psycho-nuts to me😐 I dont like the sound of her @UpsetGirlx
Do you think there is a way to get her to pipe down?

Yes I understand. I actually got rid of my mobile phone during getting the restraining order when i was pregnant, and didn't get one again until my son started school.

Parental contact comes before every single thing in my book.

No and I commented on plenty of threads at the time saying the same. My previous account name was marblessolveeverything so you can verify.

No doubt if the dad posted at the time of the first lockdown "My son primarily lives with his mother, I usually see him on weekends but she wants to suspend contact during lockdown because she regularly visits an elderly relative and wants to minimize the risk of exposure - should I overrule her and force visits?" everyone would have been siding with the Ex then too.

If you don't view actually seeing hugging them while the world is gone to shit. Yes I am proud to say I judge that parent as shit no excuse.

Seems there's more than a few with this logic on the thread. The fact they don't even mention ex's behaviour is very telling.

But why? It's irrelevant to the problem the OP is now facing and doesn't in anyway excuse the ex making frivolous police reports and false claims.

Even though the rules would not have prevented him from seeing his child, it's obvious that the ex didn't want to allow visits (and, to be fair, actually had a good reason).

If he was buying weekly gifts and doing zoom calls, it's obvious he wasn't checked out and that he was thinking of and missing his child.

They're harping on something that is ultimately irrelevant to the ex's unacceptable behavior rather than address OP's dilemma because they want an excuse to turn every man and second wife into pantomime villian.

Nope.

I was responding to why people were so focussed on why he didn’t see his kid for months.

Ok.

So your logic is that because he aquiesced to the mother of his child's request not to suspend in-person visitation for (at most) a couple of months four years ago rather than fighting her on it, the mother is therefore forever in the right to harrass him and his pregnant fiance, make malicious allegations, and suddenly tell her young child he can't live with her at all anymore on a whim?

Because he didn’t refer to the proper channels (BBC website, daily PM briefings, gov.uk website) to research the actual rules. Instead, he took Covid advice from someone who you describe as “unhinged”, took it at face value, didn’t do any actual research of the rules himself, and missed months of contact with his child.

https://www.mysocialworknews.com/article/making-a-malicious-referral-to-children-s-services-is-as-serious-as-making-one-to-the-police