Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?

386 replies

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

OP posts:
Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 10:24

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 10:10

I have a hormonal imbalance (not PCOS but many of the symptoms) and yes, protein rich meals are hugely helpful. I don’t eat breakfast and find fasting extremely helpful to my mental clarity as well as skin elasticity (in my late 40s). I don’t weight train during fasts but I do them during deload weeks.

I don’t know what people have actually tried before jumping on the injectable bandwagon. We do know that the population generally has less food awareness and that convenience food is a significant part of lots of people’s diets now. It probably isn’t coincidental to the increase in obesity.

Exactly. You don’t know! You are assuming so much about people based on one thing - that they are obese. That’s it’s. You are assuming they don’t know. That they can’t have possible ever been helafgy. Can’t possibly have tried these magic tricks that you have tried. That they must not have tried everything and jumped on a band wagon. Rather than them choosing to do something to improve their own lives and health.

Actually, I have never met an obese person who is clueless about how to eat healthy. Or clueless as to how they have got to the size they have.

You mean large parts of the population don’t believe what you do. Because there is no definitive about fasting. Or about how we used to eat.

As I said recent studies suggest fasting isn’t good for women. But here you insisting it’s the key to your good health. Despite you having lots of the privileges that enable people to have good health.

I know a woman who was convinced long fasts were the key to an easy menopause. And put herself in hospital twice.

NamechangeRugby · 06/10/2024 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the poster's request

£££££££££$$$$$$$$$

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 06/10/2024 10:22

Had a good laugh at lady smug's theory of one.

Based on my theory of one (test subject being my DP), we can all eat thousands of calories a day of shit food and never gain a pound. He eats multiple takeaways a week, huge amounts of biscuits a week plus greasy croissants etc for breakfast. Yet he's always been a perfect weight. He carries no visible extra fat, has visible muscle tone despite never working out and is in perfect health (he has a regular check up and fitness test due to his main job).
He has 5 jobs, covers the childcare while I work away, does his share of the household stuff and childcare for a 2 and a 4 year old plus is renovating our house on his own. Oh and he's never had Covid, despite being in close proximity to infected people on multiple occasions.

Not sure why I got to 16 stone on a much healthier diet though. Of course I was just a thick fatty who must never have thought of trying to cut calories or exercise more 🙄. I've lost 5 and a half stone by using Mounjaro despite eating a very similar diet to what I was eating before. I had no weight related health complications at bmi 40 but didn't want this to suddenly change and it affect my very young children.

Personally I think it's all genetic, just as it's likely just genetics that in over 200yrs my family has had just one cancer related death (smoking related). My DP's mum is just like DP health wise and is still working full time well into her 70s. She never gains an ounce of weight no matter what she eats.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 10:14

@ItTook9Years

I do an 84 hour fast every 6-8 weeks. It would have been totally normal for humans to not eat for extended periods. Modern human bodies aren’t radically different to earlier human bodies.

Definitely not for me! I guess I'm interested in the way we ate when I was growing up (it was a different poster who commented about less obesity 45 years back), rather than cave people's lifestyles! I agree with what you said in another post about vegetarian diets and UPFs.

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 10:10

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 10:01

Who says it was normal to go for so long not eating?

Because we actually don’t know. For every study that says fasting is great. Plenty say it’s not. And studies are quickly changing. It currently appear fasting might not be great for women. Because our bodies are different. There’s suggestion women can fast but only inline with their cycle.

For every study that says we went days without eating, there’s ones that point out that groups wouldn’t have been living in an area if they could not access food for days at a time.

It might surprise you but I was an athlete until 7 years ago. I also fasted. It didn’t nothing for me. I have an employee who has fell ill twice following a fasting regime. Fasting is also a huge risk for people with medical conditions or eating disorders.

I have PCOS as well as other issues and eating breakfast has been far better for cravings, exhaustion, facial heat growth, muscle maintenance. Fasting was horrific for me. A high protein breakfast has meant that I ca actually function for a full day.

Again, what you did doesn’t not work for everyone. Maybe instead be happy these things worked for you and count yourself lucky rather than pretending everyone could just do what did and it would work for everyone.

Edited

I have a hormonal imbalance (not PCOS but many of the symptoms) and yes, protein rich meals are hugely helpful. I don’t eat breakfast and find fasting extremely helpful to my mental clarity as well as skin elasticity (in my late 40s). I don’t weight train during fasts but I do them during deload weeks.

I don’t know what people have actually tried before jumping on the injectable bandwagon. We do know that the population generally has less food awareness and that convenience food is a significant part of lots of people’s diets now. It probably isn’t coincidental to the increase in obesity.

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 10:09

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 10:05

We can agree to disagree. They are completely different scenarios.

(is fortnightly testing to this date not regular testing?)

You are regularly testing up to now. Not 2022 as you said before?

You keep omitting and changing information.

No it’s not different. You took a new vaccine on multiple occasions to protect yourself. You took it because the benefit to your health outweighed the risk to your health.

Thats what other people are doing now.

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 10:05

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 09:54

Yes. We all know what happened.

As you said above you haven’t done regular testing for 2 years. So you don’t actually know if you have never had it.

No one said a healthy diet wouldn’t help or was a bad thing. But your claims here are quite wild for someone who ‘worked in a clinical setting’. Hence why people are turning to these jabs to help them get to a point their diet is healthy. They need a helping hand to get there.

As you say, people were taking a jab without the side effects fully explored. Because the alternative was awful and a risk to life. And yet you object to other people doing the same. Even though GLP1 medications have had huge amounts of studies done on them.

Yet you object massively to other people making a similar choice.

We can agree to disagree. They are completely different scenarios.

(is fortnightly testing to this date not regular testing?)

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 10:01

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:50

I do an 84 hour fast every 6-8 weeks. It would have been totally normal for humans to not eat for extended periods. Modern human bodies aren’t radically different to earlier human bodies.

Food marketing is so strong in making you believe you have to eat constantly, isn’t it? Nobody makes any money if you fast.

Who says it was normal to go for so long not eating?

Because we actually don’t know. For every study that says fasting is great. Plenty say it’s not. And studies are quickly changing. It currently appear fasting might not be great for women. Because our bodies are different. There’s suggestion women can fast but only inline with their cycle.

For every study that says we went days without eating, there’s ones that point out that groups wouldn’t have been living in an area if they could not access food for days at a time.

It might surprise you but I was an athlete until 7 years ago. I also fasted. It didn’t nothing for me. I have an employee who has fell ill twice following a fasting regime. Fasting is also a huge risk for people with medical conditions or eating disorders.

I have PCOS as well as other issues and eating breakfast has been far better for cravings, exhaustion, facial heat growth, muscle maintenance. Fasting was horrific for me. A high protein breakfast has meant that I ca actually function for a full day.

Again, what you did doesn’t not work for everyone. Maybe instead be happy these things worked for you and count yourself lucky rather than pretending everyone could just do what did and it would work for everyone.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:59

@GreyMember

It's that simple folks. Stop eating processed and refined foods you weren't designed to eat and your body will be healthy. No calorie counting and exercising to lose weight is a waste of time. Calories in calories out is a horrible way to manage your weight.

Well that's completely different advice to not eating at all for 3 days each week ...

AnotherCfspers · 06/10/2024 09:57

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/10/2024 09:47

I'm confused about the multiple posts about eating just 600 calories a day. For a long time. Surely that isn't healthy?!
I thought your body needed more than that just to function every day (the brain alone requiring something like 4-500) ?

Yes this is what I don’t understand as that poster was already on 1000 cal long term as a result of gastric sleeve and is now going to be long term on MJ on 600-800 cal??I thought going that low calorie,long term actually causes you damage as your body goes into starvation mode which can even cause organ damage. I think people on v.low cal intake actually experience the brain changes that anorexic people do…there’s a form of anorexia that actually affects obese people on drastic weight loss programmes and I think that lack of insight and awareness is really concerning.

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 09:55

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/10/2024 09:47

I'm confused about the multiple posts about eating just 600 calories a day. For a long time. Surely that isn't healthy?!
I thought your body needed more than that just to function every day (the brain alone requiring something like 4-500) ?

Not sure there is multiple posts by people only eating 600cals.

Thats one poster and then a lot of posters mentioning it from what I can see.

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 09:54

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:46

Yes, of course. I’m in HR. I saw how many vaccinated staff got ill. At the time of the first jab, nobody was thinking about side effects because the fear of dying from COVID was high. (We lost an otherwise healthy and much loved member of staff Easter weekend 2020). It made sense to take the jab when it was the only option for those of us unable to isolate who had vulnerable family members. As a new jab, side effects weren’t fully known.

We tested daily. Then fortnightly (and I’ve continued due to using rush hour Tubes and still having those pesky immunocompromised family members). The odds of me having had Covid and not known are close to zero. (DH has had it twice and DD once so I’ve been exposed to it but never ever had a positive test.)

Maybe I have the NOVID gene they’ve been researching. Maybe eating for health offers some additional protection, I don’t know. I know that eating healthily cannot be a bad thing.

Yes. We all know what happened.

As you said above you haven’t done regular testing for 2 years. So you don’t actually know if you have never had it.

No one said a healthy diet wouldn’t help or was a bad thing. But your claims here are quite wild for someone who ‘worked in a clinical setting’. Hence why people are turning to these jabs to help them get to a point their diet is healthy. They need a helping hand to get there.

As you say, people were taking a jab without the side effects fully explored. Because the alternative was awful and a risk to life. And yet you object to other people doing the same. Even though GLP1 medications have had huge amounts of studies done on them.

Yet you object massively to other people making a similar choice.

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:51

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/10/2024 09:47

I'm confused about the multiple posts about eating just 600 calories a day. For a long time. Surely that isn't healthy?!
I thought your body needed more than that just to function every day (the brain alone requiring something like 4-500) ?

I completely fucked my metabolism doing the Fast 800 pre-2020. It took me years to fix it.

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:50

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:44

It's not hard to go without eating for 2-3 days a week? What planet are you on ? This sounds like a total extreme of the 'just move more and eat less' . Make people feel there is something wrong with them as they are unable to do something as 'simple' as go without eating for nearly half of the week? I have heard that people find eating within an 8 hour window to be helpful and that is fair enough but this advice is the total extreme of being unrealistic, unhelpful and probably dangerous.

I do an 84 hour fast every 6-8 weeks. It would have been totally normal for humans to not eat for extended periods. Modern human bodies aren’t radically different to earlier human bodies.

Food marketing is so strong in making you believe you have to eat constantly, isn’t it? Nobody makes any money if you fast.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/10/2024 09:47

I'm confused about the multiple posts about eating just 600 calories a day. For a long time. Surely that isn't healthy?!
I thought your body needed more than that just to function every day (the brain alone requiring something like 4-500) ?

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:46

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 09:36

But you know the Covid jab didn’t stop you getting it, don’t you?

As we established further up. You don’t actually know if you have had covid or not. You could have and just not had symptoms. Possibly because you had yourself injected, multiple times, with something designed to lessen the impact of it.

an injection that is of huge benefit, but can also have some nasty side effects? But in reality the risk of side effects was worth it because of the benefit of having it?

Yes, of course. I’m in HR. I saw how many vaccinated staff got ill. At the time of the first jab, nobody was thinking about side effects because the fear of dying from COVID was high. (We lost an otherwise healthy and much loved member of staff Easter weekend 2020). It made sense to take the jab when it was the only option for those of us unable to isolate who had vulnerable family members. As a new jab, side effects weren’t fully known.

We tested daily. Then fortnightly (and I’ve continued due to using rush hour Tubes and still having those pesky immunocompromised family members). The odds of me having had Covid and not known are close to zero. (DH has had it twice and DD once so I’ve been exposed to it but never ever had a positive test.)

Maybe I have the NOVID gene they’ve been researching. Maybe eating for health offers some additional protection, I don’t know. I know that eating healthily cannot be a bad thing.

GondolaQueen · 06/10/2024 09:44

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

I’m so pleased for your friend .

She must feel fabulous for the first time in absolutely ages ❤️

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:44

GreyMember · 05/10/2024 22:25

Fasting is the best way to lose weight. There is so much misinformation about food it is quite ridiculous. Stop eating refined carbohydrates and fast 2 or 3 days a week. It's really not that hard and stop fetishizing food.

Edited

It's not hard to go without eating for 2-3 days a week? What planet are you on ? This sounds like a total extreme of the 'just move more and eat less' . Make people feel there is something wrong with them as they are unable to do something as 'simple' as go without eating for nearly half of the week? I have heard that people find eating within an 8 hour window to be helpful and that is fair enough but this advice is the total extreme of being unrealistic, unhelpful and probably dangerous.

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 09:36

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:23

It’s just an observation (hence the maybe). Being NHS staff at the time I had 4-5 Covid jabs. Haven’t had any since leaving the NHS and haven’t had Covid either. No conspiracy.

But you know the Covid jab didn’t stop you getting it, don’t you?

As we established further up. You don’t actually know if you have had covid or not. You could have and just not had symptoms. Possibly because you had yourself injected, multiple times, with something designed to lessen the impact of it.

an injection that is of huge benefit, but can also have some nasty side effects? But in reality the risk of side effects was worth it because of the benefit of having it?

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:34

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:29

@PrincessofWells

But this is how everyone used to eat and the clue might be there was very little ultra processed food around 45 years ago and nearly everyone was slim (not necessarily healthier due to other causes).

When I look back on what we used to eat growing up - we had much smaller portions and less snacks. Plates were much smaller. If I ate that little now, I would be starving. There were UPFs around I think eg angel delight desert. Do you think it's as simple as the way our bread is made ?

How often/how much angel delight were you eating?

The shift to two working parents has meant an enormous increase in convenience foods, the vast majority of which are heavily processed. I haven’t eaten meat since 1988. Just looking at vegetarian options shows the slip into UPFs. Just look at how much vegetarian food is now manufactured to replicate the taste and texture of meat and what they’re made of. Being veggie used to mean eating lots of vegetables. Now it’s all manner of processed proteins, stabilisers and flavourings.

The increased hunger is partly due to us becoming so detached from our own body’s needs. Often thirst is mistaken for hunger. And a lot of that food processing is to add ingredients that will make you want more. Free bread is given in restaurants because research shows that the people who eat it are far more likely to order dessert. Sugar and artificial sweeteners, including in savoury foods that you wouldn’t add sugar to if making it from scratch, is buggering up your body so that it has no clue what is going on.

And yes, your standard sliced loaf is one of the most highly processed foods you eat.

Binman · 06/10/2024 09:31

@AboutVattime How long are you committing to pay the maintenance dose for? A year? A decade? At 2k+ a year would surgery not be a better option for her with counselling and guidance on disordered eating?

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:29

@PrincessofWells

But this is how everyone used to eat and the clue might be there was very little ultra processed food around 45 years ago and nearly everyone was slim (not necessarily healthier due to other causes).

When I look back on what we used to eat growing up - we had much smaller portions and less snacks. Plates were much smaller. If I ate that little now, I would be starving. There were UPFs around I think eg angel delight desert. Do you think it's as simple as the way our bread is made ?

Fourfurrymonsters · 06/10/2024 09:28

NamechangeRugby · 06/10/2024 00:48

I'm not sure this is as reassuring as you think. The MHRA approved OxyContin, requiring that it carries prominent warnings about it's potential addiction.

What many posters on this thread are saying is that unregulated advertising of Mountjaro is skipping over some very important information to allow potential users to weigh up the risks correctly. GP's should be the gatekeepers. But look at how it is being promoted and discounted.

And I’m equally not sure you know how exactly the process of approval works. It’s all about risk v benefit. I’ve worked with the MHRA for almost 40 years, and while they’re certainly not infallible, they’re possibly the strictest medicinal regulatory body in the world. The hoops a drug company has to jump through to get MHRA approval are exhaustive. So I’ll take their opinion over randoms on the internet screeching about thyroid cancer (which the risk for is extremely small).
I do agree about the unregulated advertising though, and the fact that there are back street clinics selling this stuff to their pals (hello Katie Price) is appalling.

ItTook9Years · 06/10/2024 09:23

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:12

@ItTook9Years

Amazingly, I’ve still not had Covid. At all. Despite working the whole pandemic on a clinical site. * * Maybe my diet gives me some sort of improved immunity.

This is ridiculous conspiracy level stuff - and really if you believe this it negates anything else you are saying .

It’s just an observation (hence the maybe). Being NHS staff at the time I had 4-5 Covid jabs. Haven’t had any since leaving the NHS and haven’t had Covid either. No conspiracy.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 06/10/2024 09:12

@ItTook9Years

Amazingly, I’ve still not had Covid. At all. Despite working the whole pandemic on a clinical site. * * Maybe my diet gives me some sort of improved immunity.

This is ridiculous conspiracy level stuff - and really if you believe this it negates anything else you are saying .

Swipe left for the next trending thread