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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?

386 replies

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

OP posts:
Safaribar · 12/10/2024 19:23

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

So so kind of you to want to offer this for your best friend but she has to do this long term in another way. You could be paying that for years every month! Some people need to really work on themselves and not have these quick fixes.

Fraggeek · 12/10/2024 19:07

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

I'm on month 4. MJ has been an absolute game changer as someone who suffers with chronic pain. I'm in a position whereby I can comfortably afford it, the takeaways and snacks alone probably pay for it each month.

However I still need probably another 3 month and I'd I had to stop now due to money and a friend offered to pay, no strings attached, I would be forever grateful.
However I'm ashamed to say I'm on it. So I don't. Nobody other than my GP knows and that's only as they have to be informed. I wish I had a friend who was just as supportive for my health x

cavalier · 12/10/2024 18:58

weight gain is very often emotional … People would be helped also with having counselling to unravel what’s going on and have a sympathetic ear

Bloke58 · 12/10/2024 18:51

If both of your food consumption is as healthy as stated I don't think you need to pay for an overpriced drug. You do seem to be over-pushing the product if you are both eating healthily. It's not a preventative medicine if everything otherwise is fine!

Middleagedandsickofbullshit · 12/10/2024 18:31

This is either a humble brag or an advert for Mountjaro.

NamechangeRugby · 09/10/2024 20:55

Herewegoagain84 · 09/10/2024 18:18

It is indeed against the law to promote prescription only medications to the public, and pharmaceutical companies are obliged to adhere to much more than ASA. The PMCPA (Prescription Medicines Code of Practice Authority) adjudicate these types of complaints, and it could also be reported to UK competent authority (MHRA).

Just wanted to say thank you so much.

JohnTheRevelator · 09/10/2024 18:42

Another one here saying that your thread title doesn't correspond with your post. You're asking how she lost 5 stone in 6 months,then you go on to say she was taking Mounjaro. I think THAT would be the cause of her weight loss!

Herewegoagain84 · 09/10/2024 18:18

NamechangeRugby · 07/10/2024 19:58

I've been considering how I have come across to you. And I have researched the topic a little more.

I didn't take issue with any of 'the huge amount of posts on MN which are quite harmful' because those are individuals discussing their personally held dietary beliefs. Some are self-aware and considerate. Some less so. Some are more extreme and perhaps suffering ED's. But there is free speech and my issue is not with individuals. I actually think those with ED's are victims of threads like these. It is distressing to watch. I'm not being condescending, I struggle myself.

The point I'm trying (and possibly failing) to get across is...

Many people think that the Opening Post and Title of the thread is marketing for a particular product of a large corporation.

The Pharmaceutical company and its Distributers should (at least to my mind) be bound by advertising rules and regulations even on sm; they should be bound by a higher duty of care to the entire audience including consumers who at this point in time should be considered PATIENTS with above a certain BMI and at a greater risk of co-morbidities than risked by the product itself. The company and it's distributers should conduct themselves with a higher degree of corporate ethics than private individuals. They should actually be bound by medical ethics given the nature of the product. It should not be promoted in this way. And taking advantage of free advertising probably makes it easier for fake distributers to post links.

This thread is the first time I've encountered this whole issue. I know, I've been living under a rock! So I'm only just catching up and probably ignorant of a lot of things, but this was my first visceral reaction.

I do not understand why a company who has such a 'wonder' product would promote it in this way. Except I do understand. A race for market share, stong profit motivation and flexible ethics - not always the best combination - alternatively, just maybe they will save the world from T2 diabetes etc. I am not being disingenuous here, I acknowledge the possibility.

And on that score, if it works and quality of life is improved immeasurably in the long term, then that will be truely fantastic. I do genuinely hope it works without harming anyone. That there will be good governance, it's distribution will be well regulated, that it's use will be properly monitored and that it will work really well where it is needed, with as little risk as possible.

It is indeed against the law to promote prescription only medications to the public, and pharmaceutical companies are obliged to adhere to much more than ASA. The PMCPA (Prescription Medicines Code of Practice Authority) adjudicate these types of complaints, and it could also be reported to UK competent authority (MHRA).

PrincessofWells · 07/10/2024 22:11

NamechangeRugby · 07/10/2024 19:58

I've been considering how I have come across to you. And I have researched the topic a little more.

I didn't take issue with any of 'the huge amount of posts on MN which are quite harmful' because those are individuals discussing their personally held dietary beliefs. Some are self-aware and considerate. Some less so. Some are more extreme and perhaps suffering ED's. But there is free speech and my issue is not with individuals. I actually think those with ED's are victims of threads like these. It is distressing to watch. I'm not being condescending, I struggle myself.

The point I'm trying (and possibly failing) to get across is...

Many people think that the Opening Post and Title of the thread is marketing for a particular product of a large corporation.

The Pharmaceutical company and its Distributers should (at least to my mind) be bound by advertising rules and regulations even on sm; they should be bound by a higher duty of care to the entire audience including consumers who at this point in time should be considered PATIENTS with above a certain BMI and at a greater risk of co-morbidities than risked by the product itself. The company and it's distributers should conduct themselves with a higher degree of corporate ethics than private individuals. They should actually be bound by medical ethics given the nature of the product. It should not be promoted in this way. And taking advantage of free advertising probably makes it easier for fake distributers to post links.

This thread is the first time I've encountered this whole issue. I know, I've been living under a rock! So I'm only just catching up and probably ignorant of a lot of things, but this was my first visceral reaction.

I do not understand why a company who has such a 'wonder' product would promote it in this way. Except I do understand. A race for market share, stong profit motivation and flexible ethics - not always the best combination - alternatively, just maybe they will save the world from T2 diabetes etc. I am not being disingenuous here, I acknowledge the possibility.

And on that score, if it works and quality of life is improved immeasurably in the long term, then that will be truely fantastic. I do genuinely hope it works without harming anyone. That there will be good governance, it's distribution will be well regulated, that it's use will be properly monitored and that it will work really well where it is needed, with as little risk as possible.

You make valid points. My concerns are that any weight loss drugs are not addressing the real issues which are that

  1. Overweight people are eating too much
  2. That weight loss does not equal health because it's the unhealthy diet that's the problem.
  3. The drug is relatively new to the market and was developed for type 2 diabetics. Most type 2 diabetics have developed the condition due to unhealthy eating habits.

So what I'm trying to say is unhealthy eating habits also cause other issues such as high blood pressure as an example. It can be linked to being overweight but ny no means always.

What seems to be happening here is as another poster pointed out - big businesses are manufacturing upf. This causes weight gain so other big businesses are flogging medication to counter the weight gain.

Honestly, the only way to lose weight and remain relatively healthy is to change to a low salt, upf free diet and go cycling, or running or take up tennis or anything that gets you out there exercising.

I didn't mention it earlier, but my sil died from cancer whilst taking this drug. Who knows whether it was related, but it really didn't help long term.

My plumber lost two stone in two months by stopping eating upf. He now makes his own bread, cooks loads of curries and rice from scratch and eats loads of fruit and veg. He looks great.

NamechangeRugby · 07/10/2024 20:03

Gladicalled · 06/10/2024 18:24

You don’t need to do it.

But it make you look disingenuous to be very concerned about vulnerable people being harmed when it comes from one side.

I apologise if I misquoted you. Many posters have clung on to the one person who eats 600cals I may have got that wrong.

To be clear, I am not angry. I am explaining why it comes across as disingenuous. Had you have been concerned about the huge amounts of posts on MN that are quite harmful, I would have agreed. Any anger you are reading into my posts is the tone you created in your head.

Edited

I don't believe it, I managed to lose your quote again! My response hopefully just above.

NamechangeRugby · 07/10/2024 19:58

I've been considering how I have come across to you. And I have researched the topic a little more.

I didn't take issue with any of 'the huge amount of posts on MN which are quite harmful' because those are individuals discussing their personally held dietary beliefs. Some are self-aware and considerate. Some less so. Some are more extreme and perhaps suffering ED's. But there is free speech and my issue is not with individuals. I actually think those with ED's are victims of threads like these. It is distressing to watch. I'm not being condescending, I struggle myself.

The point I'm trying (and possibly failing) to get across is...

Many people think that the Opening Post and Title of the thread is marketing for a particular product of a large corporation.

The Pharmaceutical company and its Distributers should (at least to my mind) be bound by advertising rules and regulations even on sm; they should be bound by a higher duty of care to the entire audience including consumers who at this point in time should be considered PATIENTS with above a certain BMI and at a greater risk of co-morbidities than risked by the product itself. The company and it's distributers should conduct themselves with a higher degree of corporate ethics than private individuals. They should actually be bound by medical ethics given the nature of the product. It should not be promoted in this way. And taking advantage of free advertising probably makes it easier for fake distributers to post links.

This thread is the first time I've encountered this whole issue. I know, I've been living under a rock! So I'm only just catching up and probably ignorant of a lot of things, but this was my first visceral reaction.

I do not understand why a company who has such a 'wonder' product would promote it in this way. Except I do understand. A race for market share, stong profit motivation and flexible ethics - not always the best combination - alternatively, just maybe they will save the world from T2 diabetes etc. I am not being disingenuous here, I acknowledge the possibility.

And on that score, if it works and quality of life is improved immeasurably in the long term, then that will be truely fantastic. I do genuinely hope it works without harming anyone. That there will be good governance, it's distribution will be well regulated, that it's use will be properly monitored and that it will work really well where it is needed, with as little risk as possible.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 07/10/2024 14:40

I like food and I like eating it and I do like to cook from scratch. I like the idea of weight training so I can continue eating the food I enjoy. Spin is also a good form of exercise especially if you can keep up in the hard classes you will see changes. My life would be miserable if all I did was count calories because I couldn't be bothered to work the muscles. Food is medicine for your body without it you can easily be sick. If I am sick a make a chicken soup with hearty vegetables.

My dad was a type 2 diabetic before he died he had no weight on him. It was what he ate that made him ill it was rubbish.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 07/10/2024 14:26

I have read the majority of the thread and found it a very interesting read. I think it's a generous offer and it could help her in the long run. Has she made any changes to what she eats?

OctoberOctopus · 07/10/2024 13:36

CorbyTrouserPress · 05/10/2024 19:38

How did you get Mounjaro if you just crept into the ‘unhealthy’ zone? You need a BMI of 30 to be prescribed it.

This.

Is it a postcode lottery thing?

Cannot get it here. If really morbidly obese you might get on a waiting list.

Good luck to the friend

CorbyTrouserPress · 07/10/2024 13:34

GreyMember · 07/10/2024 13:16

As with other health markers, weight is just one of them. Reducing your body fat by injecting yourself with this drug is not making you healthy and may kill you.

The same argument is true of blood pressure medication. It's proven that reducing your blood pressure via medication does not lead to a longer life or better outcomes.

If you want to be healthy, stop eating foods you weren't designed to eat (refined carbohydrates) and your natural hunger signals will be restored and your body will be the weight its meant to be.

Moreover your mood will significantly improve. You are causing mood disturbances every time you eat these processed foods, this causes depression and emotional instability.

Even a cursory glance at research from credible sources reveals the benefits of fasting.

The bottom line is that this drug is ridiculous and anyone who recommends it is some combination of ignorant, malicious or greedy.

You have repeatedly been asked to show any proof for your claims that this medicine is dangerous and could kill. You just keep ignoring these posts. Any reason?

GreyMember · 07/10/2024 13:16

As with other health markers, weight is just one of them. Reducing your body fat by injecting yourself with this drug is not making you healthy and may kill you.

The same argument is true of blood pressure medication. It's proven that reducing your blood pressure via medication does not lead to a longer life or better outcomes.

If you want to be healthy, stop eating foods you weren't designed to eat (refined carbohydrates) and your natural hunger signals will be restored and your body will be the weight its meant to be.

Moreover your mood will significantly improve. You are causing mood disturbances every time you eat these processed foods, this causes depression and emotional instability.

Even a cursory glance at research from credible sources reveals the benefits of fasting.

The bottom line is that this drug is ridiculous and anyone who recommends it is some combination of ignorant, malicious or greedy.

Deboragh · 07/10/2024 10:17

AIright · 05/10/2024 19:37

I’m so confused as your thread title doesn’t match the post at all…?

Anyway, yes- it would be a lovely thing to do for her if you’re able to.

The title is confusing because this is just a blatant advertisement dressed up as an ordinary post.

MrsPositivity1 · 07/10/2024 10:16

I think you are a wonderful friend

T1Dmama · 07/10/2024 08:09

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 20:01

I am so sorry .. my post title didn't match the tread at ALL.. !

What I was meaning to say was that if people found out how my friend managed to make her goal weight , would they judge her for being on this drug when it cost so much and anyone who knows her - would know she wouldn't have this kind of disposable income long term... I am so sorry for confusing anyone.

And to those who think I am doing this for the 'glory' .. absolutely not, ! No one will know but her and me.

Why won’t the NHS prescribe it for her? She could go and ask them, she’s found something that works and they’ll want to support her to loose more weight and to be healthy, saving the nhs money in the long run….. but she will need to change her lifestyle too as can’t stay on this forever… I think it’s only safe for 2 years?! I have a friend who is on it for type 2 diabetes because if reduces insulin resistance and she’s been told it’s only allowed for 2 years maximum!so your friend must find something else to maintain long term… I also think she needs to pay something towards it then you just pay the extra bit she can’t afford (the bit that the discount is saving her) otherwise the money will go on food and the expensive drug not so effective @AboutVattime

Lostcause01 · 07/10/2024 05:41

I started on ozempic last year. That eventually became unavailable so ended up on the copies, I've lost just over 2 stone, go to gym 5 days a week, only do tread mill though. I'm no longer taking any injections, haven't for about 4 months now. But my point is, I ate so little, my appetite was zero, i never felt hungry ever. And became obsessed with what I ate. My diets not brilliant now, but I'm delighted to have kept the weight off.

Mt61 · 07/10/2024 02:08

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

How lovely & kind of you- can I be your bestie please- you sound like a genuine friend, most people would be envious of their friends weight loss, friends like you are few & far between 😊

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 06/10/2024 23:31

One side is you caring about her health, but the other is you thinking you like her slimmer and being controlling in keeping her at that weight.
What happens if she has side effects later on, won't you feel guilty?

Or if she decides she'd rather be big than inject herself?

She's old enough to look after herself and like others have said, are you willing to pay for the rest of her life?

MyNDfamily · 06/10/2024 23:16

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 19:52

Everyone who has taken the momentous decision to pay for this healthcare and save the nhs FORTUNES should get this for free once they're in the healthy weight band

End of.

I am doing this. I will not be able to afford this forever. I am insanely weight loss resistant, I am well under 5 foot.

I spent £17000 on a sleeve gastrectomy when I hit menopause. I was starving, I had been restricting for decades to 1300 calories, I have willpower beyond belief. I put up with being hungry every moment of every day. I was 5 stone overweight.

The gastric sleeve took me down to not being hungry on 1000 calories.

I lost 5 stone. I stopped losing. I was still overweight.

Mounjaro has taken me down to 600-800 calories without hunger. I have lost a further 2 stone.

I still need to lose 2 stone to get to 23 bmi, 7 stone. Bang in the middle of acceptable for my height.

I will need this drug forever. Or I will be hungry on 600 calories. I cannot cope with being hungry and putting weight on.

Every member of my family has died with obesity and heart disease, younger than they're supposed to have done. My mother at 61, father 63, grandparents 54, 66.

The nhs will SAVE MONEY OVERALL giving me this drug

This drug means I can walk 10 miles a day, have masses of energy. Run a team in the nhs, work full time

I am worth living without the threat of obesity because I happen to be (normally) hungry when I can only eat 600 calories.

Can the NHS not supply anything? 😞😞

MeandT · 06/10/2024 22:39

@Longtimelurkerfinallyposts I can fully believe that plenty if posters who have decades of experience of crash dieting have pushed their BMR down well below 1000 calories a day.

It's the 'hidden' (but now better researched) side-effect of rapid weight loss plans. Eating under your BMR regularly will cause your body to adapt into starvation mode so you will need even fewer calories to maintain weight in future.

If anyone loses weight faster than 1-2 lbs a week, this is what will be happening inside the body.

Can anyone who's been prescribed (rather than sourcing via internet with no medical oversight) these weight loss drugs clarify whether patients are also given medical advice on weight training to increase their muscle mass and/or sprint interval training to improve heart rate variability & drive up metabolism again once the majority of weight loss has occurred?

The NHS seems to shy away a bit from the fact that exercising until you're really hot & sweaty 4-6 times a week is likely to be required to 'fix' the impact of crash diets and attempt to get BMR back closer to 1400 calories/day in order to help maintain any serious weight loss long term.

@AboutVattime have you & your friend added an exercise program to address improvements to metabolic rate in addition to considering long-term maintenance doses of the drug?

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 06/10/2024 22:06

Great come back @ItTook9Years. Didn't realise people actually say whatevs 😂. Especially superwomen like yourself. The only person making ridiculous claims on here is you. Easily lost 3st in 3mths, hmmmm yeah 'whatevs'.

You're arguing with everyone in this thread like a broken record, yet still can't understand how ridiculous you sound.