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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?

386 replies

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 05/10/2024 20:27

I can’t see how it wouldn’t be extremely awkward to offer her money. You know her better than anyone here but needing to ask on here suggests you think it’s risky.

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerSnowstorm · 05/10/2024 20:26

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 19:52

Everyone who has taken the momentous decision to pay for this healthcare and save the nhs FORTUNES should get this for free once they're in the healthy weight band

End of.

I am doing this. I will not be able to afford this forever. I am insanely weight loss resistant, I am well under 5 foot.

I spent £17000 on a sleeve gastrectomy when I hit menopause. I was starving, I had been restricting for decades to 1300 calories, I have willpower beyond belief. I put up with being hungry every moment of every day. I was 5 stone overweight.

The gastric sleeve took me down to not being hungry on 1000 calories.

I lost 5 stone. I stopped losing. I was still overweight.

Mounjaro has taken me down to 600-800 calories without hunger. I have lost a further 2 stone.

I still need to lose 2 stone to get to 23 bmi, 7 stone. Bang in the middle of acceptable for my height.

I will need this drug forever. Or I will be hungry on 600 calories. I cannot cope with being hungry and putting weight on.

Every member of my family has died with obesity and heart disease, younger than they're supposed to have done. My mother at 61, father 63, grandparents 54, 66.

The nhs will SAVE MONEY OVERALL giving me this drug

This drug means I can walk 10 miles a day, have masses of energy. Run a team in the nhs, work full time

I am worth living without the threat of obesity because I happen to be (normally) hungry when I can only eat 600 calories.

Surely if it's only £45 a week then it's just the weekly food shop money that you're saving by eating less going on the medication instead?

Runskiyoga · 05/10/2024 20:25

No, I think it would be unwise to make this offer, which might be enthusiastically accepted to start with but have unpredictable consequences for your friendship. Just be a great friend and support, in good times and bad.

KindOf · 05/10/2024 20:25

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:22

Obesity is caused by eating too much, eating ultra processed foods, and generally by a poor diet.

The jury is out on the causes of adhd and dyslexia. We know that depression is often down to serotonin and chemical imbalances. But we do know the causes of obesity. You need an off button, self discipline and to take personal responsibility for your own health by controlling what you eat.

So don't keep bullshitting people that obesity is anything other than overeating. That is exactly what it is.

Whoah, and no one has ever been this simplistic about it before, ever. Well done. Everyone who reads this is having a revelation.

Yes, absolutely, obesity is caused by putting too much of the wrong foods in your body, obviously, but the reasons people do it, and are so reliant on it, are far more complex. And you can’t ever go cold turkey.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:24

Well I don't eat crap, never have 🤷‍♀️

For thirty years while dieting I ate 1300 calories of a Mediterranean diet

Then after the sleeve gastrectomy I ate 1000 calories of a Mediterranean diet

Now on Mounjaro I eat 2 chicken breasts and Greek salad for my 600 calories every day. I need to stay on this forever - once I lose the weight I might be lucky and can maintain at 800 calories

I've eaten the same way since I started dieting when I was 20 - no upfs, no interest in bad food

I'm just short, slight thyroid issues, syndrome x. Just very weight loss resistant.

HowYouSpellingThat10 · 05/10/2024 20:23

What if you offered half? That way it's still part on her in terms of decision making and working towards eventually coming off but without the cliff edge?

If you are going to offer I would present it as 'I've been so impressed with the progress you've made. Can I help you sustain it'.

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:22

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:16

Oh and here is another one.

Would you tell someone who is dyslexic to just learn to spell.

or someone with adhd to just learn not to have it?

Do you expect people with anorexia to just start eating?

People with depression to just buck up?

Obesity is caused by eating too much, eating ultra processed foods, and generally by a poor diet.

The jury is out on the causes of adhd and dyslexia. We know that depression is often down to serotonin and chemical imbalances. But we do know the causes of obesity. You need an off button, self discipline and to take personal responsibility for your own health by controlling what you eat.

So don't keep bullshitting people that obesity is anything other than overeating. That is exactly what it is.

Island2513 · 05/10/2024 20:21

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:15

I keep my blood sugar stable and insulin down through diet. Good gut health and energy levels and enough weight training to build muscle and bone density to protect me in later life.

You may not worry about the long term effects of increased insulin, but I would. And the side effects may come after years rather than months on the stuff.

increased numbers of people with cancer (a field I’ve spent time working in) or pancreatitis doesn’t sound like much of a win to me for the NHS or anyone else.

And what do you think the long term health outcomes are for people with obesity? What meds may they end up having to take for life instead? What impact does obesity have on the nhs?

Why do you think they can stay consistently in a calorie deficit with the drug when for decades they’ve not been able to without it?

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 05/10/2024 20:21

I don't know . It's nice of you to think of offering but I think it gives a power imbalance to the friendship . £189 for ever is a lot of money . A one off is different. I would expect your friend to refuse. I would.

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:16

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:13

Actually it is quite simple. You just need an off button and don't eat crap.

Oh and here is another one.

Would you tell someone who is dyslexic to just learn to spell.

or someone with adhd to just learn not to have it?

Do you expect people with anorexia to just start eating?

People with depression to just buck up?

CatKitt · 05/10/2024 20:15

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:13

Actually it is quite simple. You just need an off button and don't eat crap.

Thats what Mounjaro does for people who don't have the off button. It gives it to them and they stop eating crap. You can't force what you don't have. Sometimes you need an aid and that's what MJ is to many.

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:15

since1986 · 05/10/2024 20:07

No, thats not just what it does. It's just a happy sideeffect. Even if you could eat the same food, you still lose weight on it as it changes how your body processes it.

I keep my blood sugar stable and insulin down through diet. Good gut health and energy levels and enough weight training to build muscle and bone density to protect me in later life.

You may not worry about the long term effects of increased insulin, but I would. And the side effects may come after years rather than months on the stuff.

increased numbers of people with cancer (a field I’ve spent time working in) or pancreatitis doesn’t sound like much of a win to me for the NHS or anyone else.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?
So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?
CorbyTrouserPress · 05/10/2024 20:15

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:13

Actually it is quite simple. You just need an off button and don't eat crap.

Where do you get this off button?

Seriously, if it were that simple we wouldn’t have an obesity problem in this (and many other) countries.

CatKitt · 05/10/2024 20:14

CorbyTrouserPress · 05/10/2024 20:12

As she can’t even get the name right, I highly doubt this. It’s called Mounjaro.

To be fair, I've seen so many renaming from people who're using it : Munjaro, Muonjaro, Mango (this one on facebook), Munjairo, Montjaro. OP is close.Grin

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:13

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:08

Obesity is a pretty new human condition.

If you eat the way humans did for tens of thousands of years before the food manufacturers came along, guess what, the human body thrives!

Tens if not hundreds of thousands of people worldwide are discovering this. But I guess it’s easier to use expensive, off-list meds instead.

And what way is that eating exactly?
Because different environments would have had different diets.

and people tend of thousands of years ago, died at what would be considered young now. Those people didn’t live in the modern world.

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:13

FawnFrenchieMum · 05/10/2024 20:04

If only it was this easy for the 1000s of obese people

Actually it is quite simple. You just need an off button and don't eat crap.

CorbyTrouserPress · 05/10/2024 20:12

NamechangeRugby · 05/10/2024 20:09

Regardless of how the Op will protest, I strongly suspect this post is just free advertising for Mountjaro.

Free and doesn't require any of the bothersome small print concerning side effects or increased risk of x, y, z.

There have been a couple of similar threads in the past few days. Any company which does this has a pretty low moral compass.

As she can’t even get the name right, I highly doubt this. It’s called Mounjaro.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 05/10/2024 20:10

Its lovely of you. Could she work with a nutritionist or someone to keep herself on track without it?

CorbyTrouserPress · 05/10/2024 20:10

There are a couple of posters on here already showing that she will be judged.

since1986 · 05/10/2024 20:09

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:05

Not really. We humans have to eat food. If you take medication but don’t pay attention to what food does to you you’ll always need (expensive) medication. Learning how to eat for health and not emotionally or because you’re dehydrated or bored will last a life time.

Also tell us you dont know about the mechanics of obesity and genetics without telling us 🫠🙄

Please stop talking about things you clearly do not understand at anything more than a slimming world level.

NamechangeRugby · 05/10/2024 20:09

Regardless of how the Op will protest, I strongly suspect this post is just free advertising for Mountjaro.

Free and doesn't require any of the bothersome small print concerning side effects or increased risk of x, y, z.

There have been a couple of similar threads in the past few days. Any company which does this has a pretty low moral compass.

KindOf · 05/10/2024 20:09

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 20:01

I am so sorry .. my post title didn't match the tread at ALL.. !

What I was meaning to say was that if people found out how my friend managed to make her goal weight , would they judge her for being on this drug when it cost so much and anyone who knows her - would know she wouldn't have this kind of disposable income long term... I am so sorry for confusing anyone.

And to those who think I am doing this for the 'glory' .. absolutely not, ! No one will know but her and me.

That makes you even more confused — your update neither matches your OP nor your thread title! What are you actually asking?

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:08

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:05

Not really. We humans have to eat food. If you take medication but don’t pay attention to what food does to you you’ll always need (expensive) medication. Learning how to eat for health and not emotionally or because you’re dehydrated or bored will last a life time.

Yes, that why all obese people are obese. They just can’t be arsed learning about healthy eating.

You should start a podcast. You could make a fortune with this amazing knowledge. You need to spread it far and wide!

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:08

FawnFrenchieMum · 05/10/2024 20:04

If only it was this easy for the 1000s of obese people

Obesity is a pretty new human condition.

If you eat the way humans did for tens of thousands of years before the food manufacturers came along, guess what, the human body thrives!

Tens if not hundreds of thousands of people worldwide are discovering this. But I guess it’s easier to use expensive, off-list meds instead.

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