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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?

386 replies

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 19:33

Just inquisitive.. my best friend has always been obese. About 22 stone. I have worried about her health silently for a very long time.. she started Mountjaro in April and is now 14 st. I am completely thrilled for her . Her blood pressure is now 'upper' but not ' see your healthcare provider' .. her heart 'murmurs' have ceased.. I am worried that when she come to the end of her treatment she's will just gain it all again. It is without a miraculous drug.. she has struggled to afford...she is incredibly good with money and financially planned every inch of her journey so that her treatment equalled less than her cost of food consumption.. but only in the short term ( she planned 8 months but goal in 6)

My AIBU is ..I see the amazing difference , she is so happy for the first time in a long time after years of weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet.. low carb, NHS gastric band..(15 years ago which helped but only ever got her to 16 stone before piling it back on) .. she has found one of the Mountjaro providers who will prescribe a maintenance dose...

But she can't afford it long term. It will be £189 per month without a discount.. AIBU to say I can pay this for her. She is my very best friend . I love her new found sense of self confidence.. and don't want it to go.. the money is not an issue for me . I am extremely comfortable and struggle to spend. However would love to help someone I love very much.

Just for complete transparency I had crept over into 'unhealthy' zone as also had osteoporosis in knees. Also took Mountjaro for 2 months and know how incredible it is. I have kept it off for 5 months without a maintenance dose .. it just reinforced healthy eating recipes for me . . But I haven't been morbidly obese

OP posts:
OhcantthInkofaname · 05/10/2024 20:52

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 20:34

What I am actually asking is .. AIBU to offer my lovely friend the money to maintain her health ?

The difference in her is amazing. She is happy and l self confident.. but above ALL .. healthy. !

BP currently in 'above normal range' but decreasing daily.. no longer needs pre-diabetes drugs.. I am happy to pay to keep her in this range or lower because I don't want her to have a heart attack or stroke. - which she was heading for 6 months ago..

Weight Watchers in the US is now offering a medical program. It may be less expensive.

My sister and I are 2 sides to a coin. I struggle to maintain even a minimal amount, not even reaching the minimum my doctor wants as healthy. (My doctor wants me at 124-138. This month I weighed in at 121.) My sister struggles on the other side with diabetes and near obesity. Even with insurance paying for part of Mounjaro she was struggling cost wise.
We got her into the Weight Watchers program, it's partially funded by her insurance. I gave her a 3 month gift of membership. Weight Watchers reinforces the healthy eating that she needs.

NamechangeRugby · 05/10/2024 20:51

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:44

ittook9years

You've seen studies that Mounjaro causes cancer and diabetes and is a killer ?

There are law suits underway at the moment. A quick Google or even a read of the small print will tell you the risks.

Common Mounjaro side effects include digestive distress, such as vomiting, diarrhea, constipation and nausea. More severe side effects of Mounjaro include acute organ failure, pancreatitis, diabetic retinopathy and gastroparesis. Animal studies show an increased risk of certain thyroid cancers.

I get that weight loss is a very emotive topic. I completely get why individuals would love a miracle cure.

Notice the Op has not come back to refute the claims that they are not entirely who they say they are.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:51

The risks are very small

About one hundredth of taking paracetamol
(Paracetamol is a very dangerous, very common drug)

Birth control pills have more side effects

Zanatdy · 05/10/2024 20:50

Well it’s a very generous offer and i’d do the same if it came to it for my best pal of 40 plus years who is very overweight, and has been for some years but now we are fast approaching 50, it’s starting to affect her a lot. I do wonder if she will (or is, we don’t discuss her weight as its a sensitive subject) go on this. I do think she needs to do something, she’s got a lot on her plate with young kids and sick elderly parents, and a job) so things like slimming world she struggles to make the meals and cook family dinners.

Happygogoat · 05/10/2024 20:50

The title here makes me think this is an ad.

godmum56 · 05/10/2024 20:50

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:08

Obesity is a pretty new human condition.

If you eat the way humans did for tens of thousands of years before the food manufacturers came along, guess what, the human body thrives!

Tens if not hundreds of thousands of people worldwide are discovering this. But I guess it’s easier to use expensive, off-list meds instead.

I dunno. There were ancient societies where having a hugely obese king or queen was seen as a good thing. The Venus of Willendorf is thought to be more than 29,000 years old.

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:48

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:45

Well, obviously. But this case study of one manages it whilst working 200 miles from home half the time, studying a degree, raising a teenager, maintaining a home without any outside help, keeping a dog walked and fed, working out 4-5 times a week and maintaining an active social life.

And?

I am dyslexic. Assuming you are not, if we took the same exam and I was given more time would you be saying ‘well I can do it. My study of one says it can be done in x amount of time so everyone should be able to’

SweetSakura · 05/10/2024 20:47

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:45

Well, obviously. But this case study of one manages it whilst working 200 miles from home half the time, studying a degree, raising a teenager, maintaining a home without any outside help, keeping a dog walked and fed, working out 4-5 times a week and maintaining an active social life.

I used to think smug shit like this. Then I got a severely disabling illness this twas triggered by a bad case of covid

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:46

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:44

ittook9years

You've seen studies that Mounjaro causes cancer and diabetes and is a killer ?

Second sharing on this thread.

So if your friend lost 5 stone in 6 months .. would you wonder how ?
Caerulea · 05/10/2024 20:46

There is some sanctimonious bullshit in this thread. Whiffs of 'well I just quit smoking cold turkey, you're just weak & I'm wonderful' 🤮

PrincessofWells · 05/10/2024 20:46

Island2513 · 05/10/2024 20:29

Honestly I think I would rather be a lazy, greedy, obese person than a morally superior, ignorant, judgemental thin person 🙄

Or just may be I'm concerned that people are using drugs in their body unnecessarily that can have life threatening side effects and don't address the real issue, because as a pp said, if you can't normally regulate your food intake you may well be on drugs for life.
The side effects of this drug, blocked bowel (leading to needing a stoma), thyroid cancer, gallstones, etc etc. Not to mention what does restricting the blood sugar level in a non diabetic long term do? We don't know.
People are being peddled this drug when long term the resolution lies with restricting and moderating your own food intake.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:46

The reason everyone in the US and UK aren't slim yet is because so few people are on it. And those that are have a lot to lose so are not yet there.

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:45

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:42

Except trying to live on locally grown seasonal vegetables isn’t really realistic when people also have job.

locally grown, seasonal produce is usually quite expensive.

Not sure if there was a CoL tens of thousands of years ago or how they managed to hunt and gather, whilst also having to work full time AND travel. And take their kids to hobbies and to school and so on.

Well, obviously. But this case study of one manages it whilst working 200 miles from home half the time, studying a degree, raising a teenager, maintaining a home without any outside help, keeping a dog walked and fed, working out 4-5 times a week and maintaining an active social life.

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:45

ekalf · 05/10/2024 20:42

You still have to eat the calories though. I'm predisposed genetically to alcoholism so I don't drink.

But you can’t just not eat.

I don’t drink for the same reason as you. But it’s easy to not drink. You don’t need to drink at all.

But that’s not the case with food.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:44

ittook9years

You've seen studies that Mounjaro causes cancer and diabetes and is a killer ?

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:44

Silvertulips · 05/10/2024 20:38

The bottom line is this SAVES MORE MONEY and is literally going to transform healthcare

Well no it doesn’t.

If there was no NHS and you had to pay for your own treatment you would be more inclined to do everything you could to keep healthy.

Why not set a limit on funds? Say 6 months. By then she should’ve changed how she feels about herself and wan to keep the weight off.

Is that why people in the US are all slim and they don’t have an obesity problem?

I assume they don’t have alcoholics or drug addicts either?

ViciousCurrentBun · 05/10/2024 20:44

You would be ridiculous to offer to pay long term this amount of money for a friend for this reason. A one off to help save a roof over someone’s head maybe. But this is ridiculous, imagine you fall out one day and you have been subbing her for five years. Or you have a sudden drop in income and can't afford it.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:43

ekakf

Yeah, but you don't have to drink alcohol

You DO have to eat food (or you die)

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:43

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:40

summersnowstorm

You've not read my post. Obviously anyone can afford the food to put on weight when they can only eat 800 calories without putting on weight - that literally half a pizza

You think it's fair for me to pay £200 a month for the rest of my life to prevent obesity when I am not able to eat more than 800 calories without putting on weight ? Have you any idea how hungry a normal person is if they're only allowed 800 calories. Mounjaro takes away that hunger so I stay a healthy weight.

This drug will save fortunes for diabetes, heart disease, cancer, strokes, thyroid disorders

Obesity is a killer

Apart from the people that will get cancer and other chronic diseases from Mounjaro, of course.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:42

drybiscuit

Eating 600 calories a day is causing me to lose one pound a week

It's very unfortunately healthy for ME.

I am not lucky.

ekalf · 05/10/2024 20:42

since1986 · 05/10/2024 20:38

And everyone saying obesity is caused by 'eating too much' clearly knows feck all about what actually causes that or the other combination of factors.

Even 23&me have clear categories for genetic predictors. Guess what - many, many, many millions of people are predisposed to be overweight/obese. Many of those will also fall in to the categories where a keto, i.f. or hunter gatherer type diet will serve them best.

Guess what though?

With even the NHS being so thick as to recommend t2 diebetics attending their clinics eat fuck tonnes of carbs and shit cereals, and 'low fat' (but obviously then high sugar and carb foods)

It's incredibly hard for people to either revert to their natural state or to have ever been there in the first place, even from birth with carb filled baby formulas.

Yes that's just 'one' type of fat person. But fuck me, society and corporations is the problem, at every level. Same with alcohol and cigarettes. Not solely the individual.

If someone is so pig ignorant to not be willing to accept that because that's not their 'experience', then honestly gtfo.

You still have to eat the calories though. I'm predisposed genetically to alcoholism so I don't drink.

Gladicalled · 05/10/2024 20:42

ItTook9Years · 05/10/2024 20:36

The shit they put in food now is designed to keep us eating crap and making food manufacturers (and drug company) profits over human nutrition.

Elephants in the wild live longer than elephants in captivity because they follow their natural diet.

The natural human diet is good quality protein (not daily, certainly not at every meal) and seasonal fruits and vegetables. Limited grains and certainly not stuff in packets. Extended fasting is really beneficial for the liver and gut.

Except trying to live on locally grown seasonal vegetables isn’t really realistic when people also have job.

locally grown, seasonal produce is usually quite expensive.

Not sure if there was a CoL tens of thousands of years ago or how they managed to hunt and gather, whilst also having to work full time AND travel. And take their kids to hobbies and to school and so on.

MayaPinion · 05/10/2024 20:42

I’d offer to pay for a year. Leaving it open ended like that is risky - your circumstances could change, you could fall out, it could change the power dynamics of your friendship. In your shoes I’d offer her a very generous Christmas present of the drug for a year and then this time next year, if it’s all going well, you can give it to her again.

Skyrainlight · 05/10/2024 20:40

No, I wouldn't pay for unnecessary medication that has as yet unknown long-term side effects for someone who has had the medical help they need and now needs to change their lifestyle permanently to live in a healthy way.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2024 20:40

summersnowstorm

You've not read my post. Obviously anyone can afford the food to put on weight when they can only eat 800 calories without putting on weight - that literally half a pizza

You think it's fair for me to pay £200 a month for the rest of my life to prevent obesity when I am not able to eat more than 800 calories without putting on weight ? Have you any idea how hungry a normal person is if they're only allowed 800 calories. Mounjaro takes away that hunger so I stay a healthy weight.

This drug will save fortunes for diabetes, heart disease, cancer, strokes, thyroid disorders

Obesity is a killer

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