Page 2 | To be annoyed at my friend for arranging drinks with strangers on holiday

Sundaycoffee · 2024-10-05T17:14:49+00:00

On holiday at an AI resort with a friend. We had a brief chat with a couple of ladies in the lift yesterday when we arrived, who happened to be a few doors down from our hotel room. My friend came back from the pool bar today to say she had bumped into them again and told them we would be at the bar for 7pm tonight if they would like to join us for a cocktail. I'm not one for making "friends" on holiday and found it a bit rude and presumptuous that my friend had just made these arrangements without having any kind of conversation with me first...AIBU?

narns · 05/10/2024 19:22

I'm fairly antisocial on holiday too but often go with people like your friend 😂 just give it a go tonight (the ladies might not even meet you!) and if they do, it might be a laugh. If at the end of the night you don't want to do it again, just tell your friend you want to avoid them for the rest of the holiday.

"We" once ended up befriending a single mother and 7 year old boy and we struggled to get rid of them! Joining us at dinner, round the pool, every evening etc. I actually quite liked them but it did feel a bit much. I felt a bit sorry for the lady who obviously wanted some adult company so we made it work.

EngineStartStop · 05/10/2024 19:20

I’m not one for working the room on holiday but I’d take this for what it is, might actually be a laugh.

ExhaustedHousewife · 05/10/2024 19:19

but if they approach us at the bar every night for the rest of the week you can hardly tell them to eff off!
Surely you're not staying in the same bar every single night?

TwistedWonder · 05/10/2024 19:18

I’m like you OP. When I’m on holiday I like to spend my time with the person I travel with not random strangers.

Ive got a couple of different friends I go away with. The main one I go away with a few times a year is like me and we keep ourself to ourself. The other I go away with once a year and she literally starts chatting to everyone who crosses her path. I know that’s who she is so I roll with it. We compromise and have a couple of nights out just us and another couple with her new holiday friends. And after a few drinks I’m far more sociable 🤣

mistymirror · 05/10/2024 19:11

This is the type of thing my friend would do and it would annoy me.

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/10/2024 19:03

If you want to socialise only with your friend and she wants to mix with other people then you will both need to compromise (or one/both of you will have a rubbish holiday). I guess she was talking to the other ladies about going to the bar and you weren't there to discuss it. Say to her that you don't want to 'share' your holiday so may not want to meet up with other people very often and if she wants more company she'll have to go alone.

KarmaKat · 05/10/2024 18:34

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:27

I don't feel i am being unreasonable wanting to spend my holiday how I want to spend it. I socialise a lot at home and just want to come on holiday and zone out and not have to make small talk with randoms 🤣 if my friend wants to meet them separately then fine, but she invited them to plans we already had made together without asking me first

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But it is unreasonable to say you don’t want this drink and nor do you want to sit in alone suggesting your friend should be with you.

Live a little, go. It’s one drink.

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:34

Spirallingdownwards · 05/10/2024 18:32

Who made you the boss of her though? I am assuming noone. If you don't want to go then don't. Stay in the room and get ready for dinner or read or whatever and say you'll join her 40 minutes later for dinner.

To be honest if you are this hard work no wonder she has sought out some additional company.

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Not at all. I was just checking it wouldn't be rude of me to say I wasn't keen, as I felt like maybe it would be. So thank you for confirming I am totally within my rights to say "actually no thanks" 😁

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Spirallingdownwards · 05/10/2024 18:33

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:32

Yeah maybe. I guess in my head it just might not be "one" drink and before you know it they are joining us every night or hanging by the pool. It's all well and good telling my friend I'm not keen to hang with them all the time but if they approach us at the bar every night for the rest of the week you can hardly tell them to eff off!

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Actually you don't have to. You can just say we are doing our own thing today/tonight etc.

halava · 05/10/2024 18:33

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:28

Maybe! 🤣

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Good to see you have a sense of humour!

Look, it can be annoying when someone you're with takes the lead and ASSUMES you will be fine with different arrangements. Is it worth having a barney over though? I'd go this evening and see what happens. If you are not enjoying it then maybe say to friend that she might run any arrangements she makes by you first next time.

Danger is you might come across as sniffy and dull and not wanting to socialise with anyone but your friend. Friend then gets bored, then there's an argument and someone sleeps in the spare room LOL.

How long more have you got there?

Spirallingdownwards · 05/10/2024 18:32

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:24

I never said I owned her 🤣 she's the one inviting people to join "us" for drinks without checking I was cool with it first.

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Who made you the boss of her though? I am assuming noone. If you don't want to go then don't. Stay in the room and get ready for dinner or read or whatever and say you'll join her 40 minutes later for dinner.

To be honest if you are this hard work no wonder she has sought out some additional company.

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:32

liquidsquidli · 05/10/2024 18:29

Yabmu

What difference does it make one night if you talk to / sit with other people?

Your view is a bit weird.

I've met some really lovely people on holiday and I'm pretty antisocial.

Yeah maybe. I guess in my head it just might not be "one" drink and before you know it they are joining us every night or hanging by the pool. It's all well and good telling my friend I'm not keen to hang with them all the time but if they approach us at the bar every night for the rest of the week you can hardly tell them to eff off!

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SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 05/10/2024 18:31

You could say OK fine as a one off, it could be fun, but please don't set up anything else without checking with me first. I find strangers harder work than you do.

Franjipanl8r · 05/10/2024 18:31

How long are you away for? I couldn’t last a whole week just socialising with one friend, that would be really intense for me. If it was a few days I would be fine and wouldn’t invite others to join us.

liquidsquidli · 05/10/2024 18:29

Yabmu

What difference does it make one night if you talk to / sit with other people?

Your view is a bit weird.

I've met some really lovely people on holiday and I'm pretty antisocial.

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:28

halava · 05/10/2024 18:27

Are you boring her at all?

Maybe! 🤣

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Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:27

BabyR · 05/10/2024 18:22

Yabu and antisocial.

I don't feel i am being unreasonable wanting to spend my holiday how I want to spend it. I socialise a lot at home and just want to come on holiday and zone out and not have to make small talk with randoms 🤣 if my friend wants to meet them separately then fine, but she invited them to plans we already had made together without asking me first

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halava · 05/10/2024 18:27

Are you boring her at all?

Sirzy · 05/10/2024 18:27

I can be pretty antisocial but to plan to spend a whole holiday only spending time with one person - even I can see that’s unreasonable

AboutVattime · 05/10/2024 18:26

Fgs just do it .. you never know you might enjoy it ! If you don't after one drink you can excuse yourself for a 'pre arranged call from Parents/kids/catsitter..

MiddleParking · 05/10/2024 18:26

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:24

I never said I owned her 🤣 she's the one inviting people to join "us" for drinks without checking I was cool with it first.

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She wants to hang out with them, so yes, your choices are limited to - don’t go to that bar; go and sit separately to them; go and hang out with them. I don’t see which other option you think you ought to have.

Rachie1973 · 05/10/2024 18:25

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:24

I never said I owned her 🤣 she's the one inviting people to join "us" for drinks without checking I was cool with it first.

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She doesn’t need to really.

Imnotarestaurant · 05/10/2024 18:24

I’m not one for making friends on holiday either but I’d go and see what they were like. If you don’t want to do it again then talk to your friend or make plans to go to the bar at a different time.

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 05/10/2024 18:24

MiddleParking · 05/10/2024 18:22

You don’t own your friend.

I never said I owned her 🤣 she's the one inviting people to join "us" for drinks without checking I was cool with it first.

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pilates · 05/10/2024 18:24

One drink won’t hurt. I think you should make the effort this time and if you don’t like their company tell your friend.