Do you consider this ‘wealthy’?

Why did you need to ask?

4 houses, 2 kids in private school and several holidays a year, and you're asking whether that's wealthy? 😂. You wanna live like common people 😏

Edit: Apols - I see now you're not referring to to yourself 🙏😊

I didn’t need to read past the first sentence to know. Yes, wealthy.

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling but that doesn’t excuse this rather underhanded and nasty post. Phrased in such a way to encourage a pile on of negativity. At the end of the day no one, including You, truly knows what your brother & sister in law (or anyone else!) are experiencing in their lives. You just know what you see on the surface. The fact that you have totted all this up, obviously thought about it a Lot and then posted on mumsnet about other people’s finances… is pretty horrible and says more about you than you probably realise. Better to listen to others and be kind rather than tot up their wealth in your mind and feel bitter as you Think you are struggling more. Only a truly bitter person would act this way and think it was reasonable.

Wealthy & they shouldn't be struggling!

I couldn’t afford those houses and private school but I’d struggle to do a holiday for 3k. You could pay that for a week at Center Parcs with hot tub and activities and meals let alone a proper holiday

I was in employment until the company I worked for on that faithful day just sent a message and said...COVID... Leave now and don't come back untill you hear from us.... I never did ... Didn't have the knowledge how on how to deal with this strange dismissal.
I have had a few jobs here and there ever since but lost my flat and really because of my age it's been difficult to find other employment.
I keep getting asked why the employment gap... Really????

Really? Are you taking the Mick? I hope you get nothing and loose it all
I struggle every day I wish you were in my shoes

Comfortable ish.

Wealthy? Yes definitely - and a lot more than many people actually have. Very wealthy/ really rich - no. Some people will have a lot more

As PP said - if someone is living beyond their means then it could be true they are "struggling" even if they appear wealthy on paper. Especially if they are financing their lifestyle on credit which OP haven't said if they are or not.

Howdid, indeed and as do most of us mother of course too - the first child - our full time work and then the "second shift" done not just every single day but often with children up at night. Perhaps whatever your income level a "woman's work is never done" as they used to say. Some people are more aware of others for whatever reason. I don't feel particularly far from the ex coal miners in the family even though I am well off and my son works in a warehouse. Even if someone makes a lot of money it is better for everyone if they remember what life is like for many people on much lower incomes.

No doubt.

But once they have spent it, they will moan they have none left.

They are wealthier than the majority of people in the country but I assume that from what you described (P. School, big holidays, multiple cars and likely top brand food and tech and clothing etc) the outgoings are huge too so they probably do think of themselves as struggling without any concept that they are choosing a lifestyle that causes that! They could have lots of disposable income but likely don’t due to how they choose to spend and rather than look at that as part of the picture they only choose to see the part where they don’t have the actual money in the bank that their circumstances should mean they have.

honestly they are probably never going to see outside of their own perspective so stop worrying and comparing yourself to them. Manage your life in your own way and refuse to allow yourself to feel less than in comparison.

I know that their comments at best seem ignorant and at worst seem downright mean when I assume they know you’re circumstances in comparison to their own but you probably won’t change them without them becoming defensive and failing out so just ignore them and refuse to engage. For your own sake. You know they should be better but they aren’t so don’t let them get to you.

Looks rich from the outside. Whether they actually are depends on the amount of credit they depend on. Mortgaged properties, cars not their own, holidays in credit cards. They may be living beyond their means.

Several holidays a year at £3000 a time is plenty of disposable income.

They are wealthy but they may not have any disposable income. There's a difference between the two.

That is really interesting as so different to my experience. Thank you for sharing.

My DSIS did unpaid work most evenings and every weekend. She was a nursery manager earning not much above the minimum wage. A hugely demanding job. Very little financial reward.

@Newyorkcity123 this isn’t my experience - my wealthy contacts are wealthy due to inherited wealth. Parents bought houses for them that are worth millions now, no debts as bankrolled through study, holidays on the family country estate. Private school education and the same for their children. A level of privilege that far exceeded what they earn (which is usually high but not insanely so) but with all their financial advantages they can save and invest more of their salary day to day too, so just keep on amassing wealth.

Apart from a few elite jobs and successful entrepreneurs, I think it’s pretty hard to earn your way from poor to wealthy. It was definitely easier to amass property wealth etc for my parents generation.

Absolutely. I do a bit of work on almost every day of the year (even on holiday) - am a lawyer.
I think the issue here is though that if people who are fairly well off say they are hard up in front of someone who has even less that is a very unkind and silly thing to say.

in my experience of lots of wealthy contacts they all sacrificed marriages, relationships, time with family, holidays to work hard. I’m a lawyer I’m contactable 7 days a week 24 hours a day including family holidays, Christmas, one colleague had to take a call at his mother’s funeral. I’m well paid but I make sacrifices for it. My parents were both immigrants. My DH grew up in poverty. We aren’t lucky. We work like dogs. I’m not complaining but I don’t begrudge anyone else for their choices either.

Bet they can't afford the VAT rise though.

Self employed pay into pensions on their own. No employer to make contributions. We find the state employees with the biggest pensions are the tightest. I think it’s because they were non risk takers. They would never have been capable of running a business and just plodded along with very decent payouts when over 60 as they all take redundancy and the pension. Few seem to just retire. We always end up with a problem regarding where to eat

Your calculation is probably wrong. If he was an employee, then depending on the parameters, it might be £107,186.40

See https://www.tax.service.gov.uk/estimate-paye-take-home-pay/your-results?csrfToken=7a2c914d978217541cf6025715c9dbbbeacda456-1728397842759-622eb32154b4f5d842cb307f

When I was in business on my own I used to take a monthly amount sufficient for my needs, and covering all business costs and tax liabilities, and near the end of the tax year decide what was left over, and put that into my pension (saving all income tax and both NI contributions), reducing my mortage, tucking away some for future hard times, maximising my ISA, and spending some. I don't think I ever pretended I couldn't afford a pudding, but I certainly became more frugal in dips and downturns.