To wish DP was also an early riser sometimes

We were always stupidly smug about how we had different clocks so babies etc were easier because we could tag team. Turns out now I’d totally tell new couples if your clocks don’t align it’s a HUGE issue. Dh recently told me (while we were fighting) how it was a pity I never stayed in bed in the morning or stayed up eg for a full film. I said it was a pity he didn’t get up early with me or go to bed early. Hope ye figure it out!

Can't the dog have two walks? He sounds really controlling tell you that you can't walk the dog when you want to.

We are nearly 60, met in our 50's. My DP has developed health issues, likes a drink of a weekend, so sleeps in. I had resentment at first, but we were heading to split because I felt stifled. Now we've come to an agreement. The meet up at 11 would have been our time, the time before that would have been my time. We make an effort to have tea out, watch a box set etc, but I've got to have my freedom. Resentment, breaking promises etc is really damaging to a relationship. Most couples have to have honest conversations through their life stages about personal space.

Just walk the dog yourself in the morning and have the shared dog walk in the evening. Surely you walk the dog twice a day? I really couldn't be giving this so much head space.

If you’re leaving the house at 10 and need to wash and dry your hair and get ready before you go, then going for a dog walk after you’ve woken him at 8.30 seems daft! I would have told him that last night and then did what I wanted to anyway.

Couples are quite often larks and owls aren’t they? I’m the late riser in our house and quite often my DH has done a thousand jobs and chores before I’ve had my first coffee.

Your DH is being unreasonable here by insisting you delay the dog walk. Equally you need to stop being a wet wipe. Don’t tiptoe around him and appease him just to avoid a ‘silly row’ - just tell him you’re taking the dog at 8am (or whatever time fits) and he’s either up and ready or not. His choice. Let him be arsy. It’s nice to do stuff together but sometimes divide and conquer is the better option.

This! I am an early riser while DH likes to lie in. I don't begrudge him his lie in as he works blooming hard all week and likes to snooze on a weekend morning. So I get up early and walk the dogs. Then we get back and I curl up with them on the sofa with a coffee while I wait for DH to get up. When he comes down for his breakfast I nip up and take a shower and get myself up. We then will go out again with the dogs together when we are both ready. I get 2 walks, he gets his walk and everyone is happy.

It sounds like you walk on eggshells around him.

Lucky dog can have 2 walks, early one with you, later one with both of you, it works for us.

Ask the dog what he/she would want to do. Miss out on a long morning walk or wait for your husband to wake up.

I am so with you on this OP. I wake naturally about 6.30, have tried to fall back to sleep/lie in but I cant- my body just naturally likes waking up this time. Sorry, but I dont want to lie there bored until 8.30 any more than I would expect others to wake up at 6.30. Why does he get to do what he wants and you dont?!

Take the dog out. I really enjoy going out early as the sun is rising alone with the dog- it refreshes me and sets me up for the day. It gives me time to reflect on the day and think my thoughts- it's fab. It's fine if he wants to sleep in but he cant demand you wait for him when you have stuff to do. Take the dog out twice if he is insisting on being there but dont stop doing what you want to do- he isnt!

@Lux1982 I am with OP. i waken up early, sometimes 3-4am and i just get up because i know i wont get back to sleep. taking the dog for a walk early morning is good. remember, dogs cant open the door when they need a wee, they rely on their owners to take them out and they also need the loo first thing in the morning. to make a dog wait for a couple of hours is not good. my hubby is also a late riser if he is not doing anything. i would love him to bring me a coffee in bed but he is always too late and i need my coffee immediately.

Another vote for two walks. Your DH can't dictate what you do before he wakes up but you can go for a second walk with him and the dog when he wakes up then everyone is happy, especially the dog!

Dogs love to walk.
Two walks in the morning separately you both walk the dog together in the evening?

Not an early riser by choice (my kids are!) but I recognise a lot more in your op and think actually it’s more about people pleasing at the expense of yourself - many times after the fact I’ve thought I should have just done what I wanted instead of trying constantly to accommodate others. Is there an element of that for you?

you have to make the most of that time or you’ll feel resentment. It doesn’t have to be every weekend but go for the walk if that makes you happy especially in the weather at the moment before the mornings get miserable! There’s something magical about a sunrise walk, isn’t there!

Can’t you do both? The dog has two walks, you have two walks, husband has one walk.

Dh is like this. Sorry @wateringcanface but it definitely didn’t get better with kids! Quite the opposite … in fact what op is going through with the dog is probably similar: your dp doesn’t want to miss out, but also won’t wake up early, so you end up waiting around with dogs/ children for him to get up so your day can begin.

Op, your dh doesn’t know what you do in the mornings because to him that time doesn’t exist. You have to tell him and find a compromise.

Dc and I have now developed some gorgeous morning rituals that we do together - walks, painting, games.

I think you should compromise on one shared dog walk a week, if he wants to have that couple time, but does it have to be the morning walk? Surely you take the dog out more than once. Maybe the morning walk is yours because you’re up early, and the afternoon one is couples time

I'm the early bird here, I am usually up by 7.30 at weekends, DH can sleep to 10.30/11. I am like OP, I can't go back to sleep and I don't like lying in bed. I usually end up on the couch with 2 snoozy dogs and a coffee.

OP I don't think it is fair that your husband gets to dictate dog walking times.

Can you compromise that you go for your hour in the morning if you feel like it, and you both do a shorter one later in the day?

Or on days you have plans, you go early, if no plans you wait? EG early on Saturday before going somewhere, later ramble on Sunday before home for lunch

I will add my dh is a very early riser, he’s usually up at 5, It never crossed my mind to tell him what he could/could not do during that time!

So you're missing out and the dog is missing out just because your DH won't get out of bed?

This makes zero sense? Just tell him you're going at 7.30. You'd like him to join you but if not you'll go by yourself?

I went out early with my dog today and watched the sunrise. It was beautiful and has really put me in a good mood for the day 🌅

I get this. We don't have kids but hope to soon and I hope this changes the routine. As kids make you get up early.

I'm not an early early riser, but I get up in enough time to enjoy a leisurely coffee, and maybe walk dog. My husband rolls out of bed at the latest minute, grabbs a coffee to go and he's off. On days off or weekends, same thing, if there's plans at 11, he'll lie in bed will 10:30. If no plans, doesn't often get out of bed till gone 11.

My parents had always got up early together at 6ish, they'll go for a walk, make breakfast and sit and eat it at the table, then they'll usually sit in thr conservatory, read some news articles or something and discuss them. It's such a nice routine where as I spend all morning alone up until his last minute rush around. I'd find it lovely us both having a leisurely coffee together at that quiet sleepy part of the morning. That vibes usually been and gone for me by 12am on a weekend which is usually when he's up and ready to start his day.

Why do you have to do what your dh wants, every single weekend? Tell him that you would enjoy taking the dog for a walk first thing in the morning. Sometimes you’ll wait for him but sometimes you’ll go on your own.

You are allowed to put yourself first sometimes!