To make DS go to uni open day even though he came in at 4am?

Well done DS 👏 👍

Ah glad to hear this - I wondered what the outcome would be!

Your DS sounds like a mature lad.

So many assumptions being made on so little information..

But isn't it also unrealistic to expect parents to just drop thousands of pounds on something they have absolutely no control (or say) over?

maybe it would be better to make a decision about whether he wants to go to university when he is mature enough to decide, rather than be railroaded itno it by pushy parents.

I think parents paying so much towards it is part of the problem, some of them seem to think it gives them the right to interfer in their dcs choice

Also kids are used to being driven around now, its not surprising some choice to take parents along rather than spend the time getting trains

No don’t be silly, no one is suggesting they ‘can’t go’. But having an extra pair of eyes and ears is useful when paying for tuition fees. Of course MN thinks once your child turns 18 they are a fully fledged adult and should make all big decisions by themselves 😂

Plus I quite liked going to open days with my dd. She chose which unis she wanted to see and took the lead on the plan for the day, I was there for company mainly (and driving!).

Great outcome. At that age I could stagger in at 5am and still do a full day of work starting at 8:30 after a bacon bap. Take me days to recover nowdays mind!

At that age I could get home at 4am and do a full days work. He will be fine.

Most people don’t have cars where I live, so it’d be even more expensive if parents tag along too.

Who’s paying that? Not the parents.

Public transport is expensive. Hotels are also expensive (and many won’t allow a booking for an under 18 yr old). Having to shell out easily £200 plus to get to an open day and stay overnight is not possible for many young people; a long road trip with mum or dad is more affordable.

Give me more information about how you can see what you're getting for your money - do you mean if you don't like the look of what you see (but your child does) you'd tell them they can't go? What would you see on an open day that would cause you to refuse to support your child going?

Probably none whatsoever, but if a parent is forking out thousands of pounds for said student to attend, it's normal for them to want to have a look around!

Really? You don’t think if you’re paying £9K for tuition you don’t want to see what you’re getting for your money?

Seriously - what difference does that make to the student's view of each institution?

I went to university in the dark ages (1976!) and it was not the done thing either for parents to accompany their offspring to interviews or open days OR to take them up when they started their first term (or any other, for that matter). I recall the head of 6th form telling us it was part of us taking responsibility for ourselves and our higher education to do these trips - which obviously in pre-internet days involved us doing more difficult research into train times, etc - on our own.

I think it would be better for young people if their parents encouraged them to do exactly this.

what university isn’t accessible by public transport?

And yeah some unis are far away and require an overnight stay. That’s just how it is. Some insist on it (like Durham did when I went) because it gives you a better view of what it’s like.

teenagers recover from hangovers sickeningly easy! blast it!

He'll be fine with a hangover and no sleep at that age. Does he want to go to the open day?

Maybe he's not fussed on going to uni? A modern apprenticeship or similar might be better. He'll earn money, no debt and cheaper for you as the parents.

Good news OP
Definitely always best to be in charge of the music 😁
Hope you have a good family day out!

No, not all universities/campuses are close enough to a city to allow public transport travel there and back in a single day, actually, surely it depends on where you live and what uni you are looking at? I looked at Durham for example, and I’m from the south, it absolutely wasn’t possible to travel to the campus in time for an open day via the train. I mentioned friends because sometimes it’s possible to club together to share the trip/one parent taking a turn to drive a group to different places.

Just dumping them at the nearest coach or train station and letting them get on with it because ‘all universities are in cities’ (they’re not, for a start) isn’t something all parents are happy to do, thankfully. And then you say your DD didn’t even go to any open days anyway? Not really relevant then is it.

If he’s old enough for Uni he’s too old to be grounded or punished. He’s missed the open day, tough shit for him he’ll just have to wait now. Open days are not essential though, he doesn’t need to attend the open days to attend that university.

If a degree apprenticeship is what he really wants, he should put all his focus on that. If he's predicted 3 As that's great, are there other things that would help such as work experience?

There's no point wasting time and energy on pointless plan Bs at this point. With high grades he will easily get into a good university to do engineering or something like that, possibly through clearing or he could take a year out and apply next year. If you're short on money that might be a good option anyway.