To think this is exclusionary?

Yeah, no headteacher or governor would allow this to happen, the PTA could be struck off by the charity commission too. OP hasn’t answered my question about where the ticket money goes either. The only legitimate way would be for each parent to pay the venue directly, thus it isn’t a PTA event at all, just a parent get together. That I could believe.

Organise a night out to McDonald’s then. If you dont want to go / can’t afford it then don’t go. I have zero sympathy with people that whine about ptas. Dont like it you do it then.

Willling to bet op is wrong and there's some money raising element in there.

why the need for ballgowns silver service 9 course meal at a stately hall?!

No way did anyone get 9 course silver service at a stately hall for £60 a head! Exaggeration

I’ve read some bizarre posts on MN, but this has really set a new bar. If the PTA was running cash for this event through its books, OP could report them to the charity commission, which is why what is being described is highly irregular, illegal some would say.

Honestly the PTA are just a group of people who volunteer to do things to help the school. The ball sounds like what they do as a thank you to themselves throughout the year, that they then open to other parents because a ball with just them would be a bit crappy! Bit narrow minded to run something that you intend to "open up" to other parents without thinking about the financial situations of the those people. The fact remains though it is run by them and for them (i.e. not something the school have asked them to do) so they are free to do what they want.

If you want something that doesn’t exclude anyone, it is going to have to cost virtually nothing for all parents to participate. So I didn’t make up anything. You just haven’t thought through what you want.

If you don’t want something everyone can attend but want something better than a disco for yourself then you need to be realistic; you want a semi-exclusive event so that you’re not left with squash and jam sandwiches in the school hall with the plebs.

Same. Those who do go either attend with longstanding friends in the school or for networking or future donation prospects. Other than that we have the same thing every year at our state school and I couldn't imagine anything worse to do on a Friday evening. I would rather spend my child free evening which I would have to arrange childcare to attend the event but would rather have some me time in a local McDonalds car park than spend that time wearing a ball gown wearing heels and hanging out with the school teachers and PTA.

Why don't you join if you have so many better ideas?

It's basically an excuse for a posh piss up then
Very pretentious
And yes not inclusive at all. Our PTA is the opposite, quite a high proportion of wealthy/MC parents but like to make a point of the lower income families. Even to the point if you can't afford the 50p cake sale, just take one at discretion

Where is the ticket money paid? To whom? Directly to the venue?

PTA members generally give up a lot of time and effort to raise money for the school without much thanks and with lots of non-volunteers sniping about every decision - so when it comes to social events I reckon they should just pick whatever suits them.

Unless you're in the PTA and willing to organise an alternative, then I don't think you should judge quite so harshly. I can understand why they stick with what they know.

Who takes money for the tickets? To where is this money paid? I’m a co-chair for a PTA (very wealthy school). Have you spoken to the school?

What your outlining is constitutionally unsound and if what you are asserting is correct, it would be worth a conversation with the school. Why don’t you speak to them and report back on this thread?

Does it raise money for a charity instead? PTA’s often do these things for NSPCC or similar. If this isn’t the case I’d ask the head teacher, it doesn’t have to be confrontational.

I don't understand why it isn't raising money for the school? We had a ball last year (£40 a ticket I believe) and with raffle etc raised £3k.

If it's just a social fair enough but seems odd. I agree £60 is not accessible to all but equally not everyone would want to go anyway.

Ball gowns don't have to cost a fortune - mine last year was from Dorothy Perkins!

Ps your description sounds very much like Hagley Primary 🙈

£60 seems reasonable assuming that includes a meal & a band at a semi nice venue. Cheaper than most staff Christmas nights out- why is it exclusionary? They have to cover costs, it's not being subsidised.

Generally PTA’s are massively under staffed by parent helpers. Parents (who never ever help) do loads of whinging. Why not offer to work the ball? You don’t get charged for tickets if you help. Usually at balls there is either a charity narrative or auction - to raise funds. Otherwise how would they justify the outlay of organising costs? Most PTA’s have a constitution to enhance the pupil’s experience, so throwing parties to benefit adults, that doesn’t raise funds for the school wouldn’t generally be agreeable for the school. Also why would the adults want to attend, just for the hell of it? Sounds like BS. I’d ask the headteacher directly if you feel excluded.