Work 4 day week impossible as a Mum

They are paying you part-time wages and expecting full-time work. Your boundaries need to be firmer. "No, I won't be doing that, Tuesday is my non-working day." Stop putting in extra hours, I'd suggest an email to manager copying in HR to say that you will no longer be able to accommodate unpaid overtime and expect the workload to be achievable within your paid hours. Start looking for another job.

I have two children and I’m pregnant, I work compressed hours, 5 in 4. All remote.

My manager and her manager would both have a go at me if I was working at 5am. They would be horrified. On the odd occasion when I’ve done some work on my non-working day they’ve both told me to log off. They don’t like to see me online in the evenings. I’m given a huge amount of flexibility for appointments, physio, childcare issues etc. Their priority is my health and well-being.

Your boss sounds awful. I don’t have much advice for managing the current situation but I would look for a new job for when you’re back from mat leave. It doesn’t have to be like this.

If the company is large enough, an internal secondment to another role would not affect your rights to SMP.

I honestly feel for you, this sounds awful . Of course your work are total arseholes and you are not being unreasonable. I've just realised how lucky I am (NHS post). I hope you manage as best you can til your new baby is born and then get a new job on mat leave and tell them to f* off x

Are you in a union?

When you dropped your hours, did they drop your KPI/targets?

12 hours unpaid travel time is completely unreasonable.

It all seems totally unsustainable. Can you speak to HR if your manager isn't being helpful. Or maybe start to look for a new job?

I’d contact client and move the meeting to the Monday or Friday before so the half the travel is on a weekend day. Then your Tuesday is still blocked off.

Having seen your latest update re being pregnant I'd say play along and take the occasional hit as you have bigger things to worry about. Next time say there is no childcare and refuse to travel/work in your time off. When you return to work next time think carefully about how you want to come back ft/pt.

Just seen your note on condensed. Cross post.

Swap your non working day?
would you consider moving your contract to condensed hours. So full time hours over 4 days. If you’re doing the hours at night then that’s what you’re doing anyway. You might as well get paid for it.

Just raise a formal grievance?

Definitely not OK. Just look for another job clearly the culture is shit where you work. There are places out that will accommodate part time roles. It definitely depends on what you do though.

I agree with what PPs have said, if you don't want to move company, either work 4 days compressed hours (you're already doing that, just not getting paid), or drop down to three and get someone else in the team to meet that shortfall.

This is the reason I didn't go back 4 days, they just expect you to do your old job in less days. Three days is perfect for me.

Not all workplaces are like this. Time to get a new job!

You shouldn't have to work on your day off. And especially since this involves quite a lot of travelling. However, it depends on how senior your position. Is and if you are considering looking for a new job. Your boss sounds a proper bully.

I have tried 3 day week, 4 day week and full time.

3 day week was best because you are the CLEARLY a part timer who cannot cover the full role. Does cause stagnation and you miss important meetings but I did get to work 3 days and no more.

4 day week was the worst! You are away so little that people think and treat you as full time. So you get 100% of the work at 80% of the pay under more time pressure. Absolute worst!

5 day week is full on but most peaceful. You get enough time and pay to do the job and you don't feel like you are being cheated.

I'd never do 4 day week again. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it other than keep your cool and keep hard non negotiable boundaries.

Yes this too

I get that it isn’t ideal, but your situation is worlds better than it was when I was a new mum.

There was no opportunity to go back part time. It was full time or you have to resign.

It was fully expected that if your role required travel before pregnancy, it still required it after maternity leave, even if you were a single mum.

It was fully expected that we would make arrangements for child care and pay for it. A friend who was a breastfeeding single mum used to pay to take her baby with her on work trips and then hire a babysitter via the hotel. I used to pay to fly my DH and baby out with me on business trips when I was breastfeeding. When the DC were older, whichever one of us not away on business would just have to arrange nursery, childcare, or use the odd bit of annual leave to make things work.

Your manager is probably coming from this angle of she did it, so why can’t you?

I think it’s ok to ask the manager what support they give, and you’ve gotten that response. So really it is up to you to solve the problem yourselves.

Dig your heels in on those one and claim the toil. You will still have to pay nursery but you may get a day off to yourself on another day where you can do what you want. Honestly you have to make the boundary here because no one else cares and no one else will give you a Pat on the back for travelling on your day off. What is the worst that can happen? They can’t say you are being unreasonable for taking the time back.

Most men wouldn't allow themselves to be treated like this. And nor would some women. It's about knowing your worth and having strong boundaries.

Why did you agree to work Tuesday if it's your non working day? Just say the nursery can't fit your DC in on any extra days.

I do a 4 day week, my work are understanding and I do not work outside of my contracted hours, I turn my phone off and enjoy my day off. I do no work outside of my hours and if they ask I just say no, what are they going to do? Are you part of a union, you need legal advice

You need to move jobs, they sound awful. If I had to do that amount of travel I’d expect TOIL or payment in addition.

You need to change jobs, this is a workplace issue. To not pay you overtime / Flexi / time in lieu is just not on.
I work somewhere they bend over backwards to accommodate both mums and dads and other with caring responsibilities / disabilities / fertility treatment and to be flexible. There are better places out there.

Contact HR for advice. This sounds totally unacceptable and I can't believe your manager has made comments about "this is the problem with mum's working part time" - that's so unprofessional. They can't force you to work on your non-working day, and they can't just ignore you if you're struggling with an unmanageable workload. Is it a big or small company?