Partner won’t marry me (thread 2)

I guess the Op may be getting the keys on Thursday - being 1st of the month and having been told it would be around a 2 week process.

I can't remember which weekend she does / doesn't have her children and whether that will make a difference ?

So hopefully ' we ' may get an update next week ?

Good grief! The poor woman is moving house, settling her child, dealing with a despot, etc…. She doesn’t owe us anything!

How are things going, OP?

I hope you’re ok @Everythingwillbeokk let us know you’re safe when you get a chance

Wishing you the best of everything in your new home. I hope you are ok @Everythingwillbeokk

Hope your weekend is going well @Everythingwillbeokk

Really hoping to hear that @Everythingwillbeokk is nestled safely in her new home, settled with her furniture arranged perfectly and a glass of bubbly in her hand.

How are your plans advancing OP ?

Great update and progress op. Hope it’s continuing to go well this week.

Glad you got the house. I am sure it will be the perfect safe landing place for you and your children until you can buy a house for yourself again.

You are doing really well op!! Slowly but surely wins the day

Hope your week is going ok OP!

Really lovely to hear this update. Wishing you well with everything. You are brilliant.

I'm so proud of you @Everythingwillbeokk. Please look at security video cameras when you move in also. I wouldn't put it past him to be angry about having to pay for his own lifestyle.

That’s fantastic news. You’re absolutely doing the right thing by keeping your cards close to your chest. I would just be bland until you move out.

@Everythingwillbeokk

Your update really made me smile. So glad you got the house!

You've got a great plan going. 'Stealth', all the way.

Upwards and onwards, to freedom!

Great to hear op! Keep up the good fight 💪

@Everythingwillbeokk

Oh! I'm thrilled to read your updates.

Just two little weeks to keep quiet and you'll be out of there.

Here's to the rest of your life x

So glad you are well and moving on OP. At this stage I would be tempted to play along to some extent, tell him it's a shame to throw away what you have built, maybe you can both work through differences, his offer to add you to the house was a good first step and praise him for it. Say now you both need just a bit of time to think through things and work things out...Maybe you could both aim to have a think and then date night in a week...be a shame if you had a family emergency and had to postpone...keep stretching it out until you go.

I'm worried that he will try to get revenge, frustrate your plans or make it nasty, it makes sense to keep things moving along on his terms until you have moved out, you are right not to tell him about the new place.

Good luck!

Great news that you've got the house. From tomorrow start to make mental lists ( or lists somewhere he cant access) of the bits that you will be taking with you. Can you start organising and smuggling stuff out that he isn't likely to notice and leave with a friend / relative for storage until you get the keys. When you go, you don't want to forget anything or leave anything behind. I wouldn't tell him that you are leaving. When you get your keys try and see if you can hire a man with a van and have your stuff out in a day then leave him a note or dump via text and then block on everything.

Fingers x, and I really really hope you've got some friends to help with the move.

I really do think he is going to lash out really badly when he realises you're actually going to fuck off, particularly if you try to take stuff that is yours but he now views as essential to his life.

I’m pleased that you got the house. Like you said, it’s not permanent just a stop gap until you buy your own home.

So he’s realising that his meal ticket is gone. I bet he proposes or comes up with another farcical suggestion.

Could you leave some things with friends or at work?

What’s the furniture situation? Is it mostly yours/joint or his? I ask as when you come to move, he could get very hostile so make sure you have an army of people helping you.

Hope you get it! And hope the move isn't too stressful! You've been so decisive and it's actually amazing, it would have been so easy to just cave and pretend everything is OK. Really hope it all works out for you

OP, will you move out on the first day you get the keys?
Or does it make more sense to move on Day 2 or Day 3 and get more of your stuff transferred across?
Obviously, your safety and that of the kids is paramount. Just wondering what it the absolute best way. Would you hire a man with a van to help you on the day you leave for say a couple of hours so you are not loading and unloading your car? Making faster progress when time is of the essence would seem ideal.
Just throwing out thoughts for you to consider.
And, of course, Women's Aid advice would trump anything mentioned here.

Your latest posts are really good news, @Everythingwillbeokk. So glad that house #2 is sorted and you're sticking to your guns and are on your way out of there! Good luck getting through the next few weeks.