To be envious of these female Doctors

Ah right should have said!!! Most drs in uk fairly ordinary

Not trying to be holier-than-thou, but I’m really not impressed by glamorous people. I do try not to make snap judgements, but if somebody is dressed very slickly I suppose I am more likely to suspect they are a bit vain or insecure. Same for women who wear a lot of makeup. Not saying I’m right, I’m just aware that’s the way my biases fall.
Obviously being scruffy isn’t a good look either. Overall, I’m most impressed by expert social skills and the ability to put others at ease and handle tricky conversations.

I had gazelles a few years ago and they were seen as a bit mumsy and untrendy at that point. Now they’re everywhere 😅

Well my daughter's a paediatrician. Don't think she dresses as you describe. She did work hard and was v focused.
Just wondering really, why are you seeing private paediatricians? And where are you finding them? You do realise they probably also work in NHS?
You're wasting your money

I'm a doctor - there are also lots of doctors who feel sad or anxious as the training and role involves a lot of death, the risk of complaints, long hours and lack of control over hours/ shifts/ leave,
So please don't let envy make you feel bad.
Could you pin pint what it is that you feel you are missing out on and set some goals?

Don't be too cowed. I've met a lot of neurologists and psychiatrists over time (anorexia as a teen, now MS; one of my children has ASD and another self-harmed). It's true that they're often quite well turned out - the neurologist who first told me I had MS, at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery in London, wore the most expensive suits I had seen until that point.

But he hadn't managed to stop his underlings from sending me home within 30 minutes of a lumbar puncture, leading to a disastrous eight-day headache, and he made a mess of explaining the implications of my diagnosis to me. Utter failure in terms of patient care and bedside manners, seemed to think I should be happy with some brochure that appeared pitched at four-year-olds.

And psychiatry, I've realised by now, is really a mostly descriptive discipline, attributing diagnoses based on symptoms but with no understanding of their causes. The treatments are mere guesses. My DD's well-dressed psychiatrist has been in turns over-optimistic and overly punitive, rigid, naive, defensive when things went wrong and just unperceptive.

And she's not even the worst I've met, not by a long shot. The bloke who was supposed to help me when I was a teen was so busy trying to blame my 'overprotective' mother that he couldn't find the time to examine my abusive, nasty, terrifying father's role in my predicament. Common and garden sexism at its worst. The profession is rife with it; beware.

That said, I sympathise with your worrying about your 'meh' career. But there's no point. And children's health struggles put things in perspective. Brace yourself, you'll need your wits, backbone, patience, tact, perseverance, really all you have to get your kid help.

I do one of the jobs you mention in the NHS. There's a wide spectrum of what similar clinicians wear. I imagine that the doctors you met in the private sector need to dress for expectations of that particular role, and also are better paid.

I consider teaching to the most important job of all, for what my opinions worth!

As a doctor - when I drop my kids to school on a day I’m not working, I feel like you as they’re dressed smart and stylish, made up and looking good while I’m usually wearing gym clothes and haven’t showered! I have the respect for them that you describe towards doctors - in awe of how they manage the class, their workload, get the best out of my children.

It goes both ways!

I just imagine they also likely came from good backgrounds, with fairly wealthy parents engaged in intellectual pursuits (not always of course!) but how cool to meet someone on a night out and they ask what you do and you’re a child psychiatrist or surgeon and so on

I'm a psychiatrist. Believe me, no one wants to sit next to me at a dinner party. Everyone seems to think you'll be able to see into their soul, and will start asking them awkward questions about why they fancy their best mate's wife, or why they felt compelled to nick stuff from the Woolworths pick and mix as a child.

I grew up on one of the roughest council estates you've ever seen, our next door neighbours were drug dealers. The closest thing to an intellectual pursuit in my house, was working out in which order we should switch the appliances off to make the meter money last the week with the least inconvenience.

You're comparing your insides to other people's outsides. The truth is very often not what you think it is

I'd hate to be a Doctor.

For many reasons. Its a tough job. Night shifts. Im squeamish.

Then I wouldn't be able to take the pressure of someone's life depending on me. And when their life is depending on me after I've done a long shift with very little sleep already

It's not for the fainthearted. Well done to anyone that does it.

I wouldn’t admire them because they work in private medicine. They’re only in it for the money.

Ooops... I'm a female NHS consultant and I'm fat (it's rare but we do exist - no time to eat for me means binge all the sugary crap when I can - yes I should know better) and my clothes are very casual but weren't "good" to start with. I wear scrubs all day so don't need proper work clothes, otherwise I would put a bit more effort in!

Some people are just more put-together than others regardless of profession. Everyone has different priorities!

Completely agree. Swapped my scrubs (junior) for Own Clothes recently and noticed a big change in how patients related to me. OP, it's all for show! You can fake it till you make it too!!

Having said that, I don't hang around with other Drs outside work cos they make me feel inadequate 😅

I've never envied doctors, although I appreciate how much work they've put into getting there. Perhaps because had I wanted to be a Dr, that's what I would have done. But working in a hospital, and having to touch people, didn't appeal to me.

I have ended up working with people (teens), but at least I never have to touch them or deal with illness. I'm another mediocre teacher, but a stylish, sorted one with a funky car.

YANBU

I think some people have a beautiful personality and make a big impress and it sounds like these women were like that.

But when they’re attracted and stylish then it makes you even more envious.

I tend to get what I think of as crushes on women like this.
I guess it’s a bit like how we used to love Disney characters when we were young.

I think we all feel like we wished we studied harder but there’s a reason we didn’t.

These women may have had to face tremendous obstacles but the majority of the time, successful people have successful and supportive parents.

It’s also never too late to retrain :)

Four kids and a job as a specialist doctor? I'll tell you how she was all the things you mention - lots and lots of help!

I get you OP. I think it’s just doctors/high up medical professionals. I could be in a a room with firefighters, lawyers, MP’s, honestly even the prime minster and would just see them as people with big jobs… but put me in a room with a doctor I suddenly feel very, very inferior 🤣

I can say I've never looked at doctors or vets with envy, more admiration at how bloody hard they must've worked from being young to be doing what they do now.

OP, I understand completely. I have also at times felt envious of female doctors, mostly because they have job security, high pay, and a lot of respect. That's quite the trio! I have also met the very glamorous ones, recently when I took my stepmum for a private appointment, and once at a party in America that was only for female docs! Oh wow, you should have been there. I have a friend who lives in America and one of her friends is an American oncologist. She invited my friend and I to a soiree of female oncologists at her flat, when I was visiting. Bear in mind, these folks earn about $400k a year, and many of them were also married to specialist docs. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DIAMONDS. I browse the Tiffany website, bc I like to look, and I know for a fact that one pair of diamond earrings cost about $20k. I came away feeling quite overwhelmed. I had never seen people wearing so many diamonds.

I remember many years ago, awaiting my A-Level results and watching Peak Practice, and feeling envious of the pretty young blonde GP because her life was just so sorted. Good pay, respect, and job security.

Female docs who have climbed the ladder are in a pretty good position. I think it's natural to feel a bit envious, especially if you're seeing one of the glam private ones. The one I saw recently was just gorgeous!

All the gps I know once home from work love a good primark bargain 😂. Remember it's work clothes only. They're smart enough to be bargain hunters like rest of folk.

Just think, all these beautiful doctors all have something in common.
People like you !
They aren't all self taught they would have needed educators. From pre-school,nursery, primary, secondary, and universities.
They will have trained in the NHS.
They need taught every step of the way.
(State or private)
Be proud of what you do.
As people found out in lockdown it is hard and they only had their off spring.
Yes, the pay stinks the conditions are lousy but without you they wouldnt have the education, the car, and the clothes.

I’m my dream work I am a doctor (varies what area I work in but always highly respected consultant) of course glamorous too. seriously I would love to have been confident and clever enough to study to be a doctor

I would love ds to be a doctor but he has absolutely no interest in becoming one he told me when he was about 10 he didn’t think they earned much so woudl rather do something else 😭

still maybe one of my future grandchildren will be a doctor 😊