To not want to go to the airport 3 hours before?

Are you happy in this relationship? If you can’t compromise on this (which is a relatively minor point) I think you need to reassess.

Are you flying out of a big or small airport? If it is a large airport three hours is not an excessive amount of time. How are you getting to the airport? I think if you feel this strongly about it you need to travel separately but in the long run this is going to be a factor for the rest of your life.

I am one of those people who like to be in the airport many hours in advance of the flight time. I did once agree to not being so early for a flight and only for a delay we would have missed the flight. It caused me untold stress and now being early for a flight it is something I will not compromise on.

That's likely to be worse. He'd be anxious about her being late and him having to make a decision about not boarding the flight.

It's not, but it's a non negotiable for me and I'm grateful he indulged me. He's now getting genuinely excited about a train adventure 😊

You sound like you’re the one being over dramatic!
… if I compromise on this i’ll never get my own way about anything ever again, waaaaahhh!!… 😂
just go separately to him, everyone’s happy.
My dh likes to leave extra time to get to the airport, he doesn’t exactly plan to have loads of time hanging around but the M25 can be a cruel beast and although we’re only about 20 miles away the journey can take hours if the motorway is at a standstill.
We’ve never missed a flight but definitely would have if we’d gone when I would have chosen myself. Plus I do always have time to go and buy holiday sunglasses and perfume, we book the lounge so we have somewhere to sit and relax and overall it’s a much more pleasant experience than arriving through the skin of our teeth.

Vetoing isn’t a compromise either.

It's not a massive compromise to make, is it? You could have a coffee/ drink in the extra time.
Thankfully my new BF is not like you- we're going away together in a couple of weeks and I vetoed flying completely, for environmental reasons. The plus side is that we can rock up at the train station ten minutes before the train departs (except for Eurostar which has become more like taking a flight since Brexit 🙄).

Hardly. I'm not the one who needs to post about 60 minutes at the airport.

So you will never compromise? Partnership works best if you occasionally accommodate the other's needs.

What about him understanding OP’s anxiety being in an crowded airport too long?

Or does hers not count?

He sounds an arse for his ‘you can do what you want’ comment.

I don't think you're going to enjoy this holiday op...

@JennaRink I guess there lies the dilemma. Is it a sign you're just not that well suited?

Travel separately & meet at the airport?

Stay in the airport hotel the night before? Can be close but not stuck in the airport. There are likely to be quiet rooms if you find it being busy overwhelming.

If you have children with a person with autism then you are likely to have autistic children and an hour or so early to the airport might be the least of your worries. It is largely an inherited condition. So if this bothers you it might be worth evaluating everything.

Personally I like to be there early as otherwise I'm in 'waiting' mode and won't be able to settle to do anything else.

I’m with him I’m afraid and always aim for 3 hours before flight and then there is wiggle room if something goes wrong (which it has done on a few occasions!). Post brexit everything takes longer anyway so I’m surprised they haven’t shifted the minimum times to be longer.

If you can't even compromise on 60 minutes, your relationship is a non starter. Being early is better than being late or missing the flight altogether. Accidents happen enroute which can cause serious delays. This would probably cause extreme anxiety for him. Airplanes wait for no-one.

Please leave him so he can find someone understanding of his anxiety.

I'm on the spectrum and my inclination is to be early for things. Just in case. I know it is unnecessary. Well, probably. Most of the time. And I also know that I'm capable of feeling anxious even if I'm early and I have plenty of time.

This is going to be something that comes up all the time and how you deal with it is up to you, but going along with it all the time it's not the only option. My other half has asked me to trust their judgement on timings for planes and ferries, and to trust that it won't be a disaster even if something goes wrong and we miss the flight - which could happen regardless of how early you aim to get there.

The other thing we did once was plan to stop somewhere not far from the ferry port, so we could spend some time somewhere nicer, but if we were delayed we could go straight there.

It depends. I regularly get a morning flight to Dublin, I always arrive at the airport 1 hour before my flight.

@JennaRink can you compromise and go 2.5 hours prior to departure?

Are you checking in luggage and what airport is it?

Then do what you want! You're the one insisting that you have to go the airport together.

Just arrange to meet him there. Drama over.

Sounds like this isn't really about going to the airport!

All of this !You are being unreasonable.

Security takes AGES now though.. I think 3.5- 3 hrs annoyingly is about right. Even though you have to 'check in' yourself. Which it is not. Grrr