To not want to go to the airport 3 hours before?

But if you booked the later bus and missed your flight, it'd be hilarious.

He is on the spectrum so may not be able to see your view. What is he like if he feels he is late to something?

what about you go when he wants but he pays for a lounge so you can relax before flight.

like others have said. Are you still going to be annoyed by this in 5, 10 , 20 years time as he will always be ND and you have to make adaptations or deal
with the fall out.

I’m like your partner and my husband is you. We’ve been married 24 years. We have learnt to compromise on the airport situation. It’s 2.5 hours for us now. Of course I’d prefer 3! I can’t sleep the night before as I’m so anxious about missing the flight for whatever reason. If we get through everywhere quickly we will sit down for a meal and a drink, if not, the meal comes on the plane with us (Pret). Both have happened in equal measure. Just be kind and compromise.

So he has to compromise and do it your way? You said yourself time keeping is important to him and you’ve always been aware of this so either suck it up and do something nice for someone else or go on your own later.

Book yourself into the lounge and enjoy a few hours of peace with food and drinks on tap.

It took us 2 hours to get from the car park bus to the gate a couple weeks ago on the way to Lisbon.

Loads of queues for buses, we were in the security line for over an hour, then the absolute arse end of the airport furthest gate.

I'd much rather get there in good time and get the bags dropped and sit with a glass of wine.

You've said in your post he's on the spectrum, so with that potential comes alot of anxiety about things. One of these things may well be a fear of being late, or a problem arising. All of these things will cause immense stress and discomfort to your partner, I doubt very much these things cause you stress or anxiety to the extent it does for your partner. If you've spoken about it and they're not willing to budge on it, then I'd say suck it up and support them on this one. It's not the end of the world, for sure.

I hope you both have a great time, but seriously, you don’t sound like a great fit. If you see him wanting to be on time as you “always having to do things his way”, and resenting it, you’d be better off simply splitting up. There’s nothing more frustrating than being with someone who has a different idea of “timing”. If it’s point scoring and digging your heels in, this early on, then just move on and find someone else, and let him do the same.

My OH is obsessed with being everywhere 5 hours before we need to be and it's as annoying as fuck. I'm 100% with you OP. Living with someone who is very anxious is hard work and not something I'd choose if I had my time again.

And who can afford to eat at the airport last time we were there we paid nearly £40 to eat at Pret! It's a huge rip off.

Well no, because you must be early on in a relationship to be having your first trip away and your looking into your future with doom and gloom (over something pretty trivial tbh). Most people would be excited to spend time with their other half having a bite to eat or a few drinks before the plane, especially at the early stages.

You can’t seriously still be on this? Jfc.

Im assuming this isnt the UK.?2 hours to clear check in and security in most airports could be cutting it fine resulting in you both bring stressed. We flew from a local airport to Greece 4 weeks ago and our agent suggested 4 hours. We got held up and arrived with 3 hours. Luckily our carrier has a great system to check you in and the airport had good teams at security but some airports are horrendous. You need to compromise or this doesn't look good for the future

I know the airport says 2 hours however if we rocked up 2 hours before flying time in our airport we would be running to the gate. always Ryanair is the last bloody gate right at the end so that's at least 20 mins walk from end of where food is food is a 15 min walk from security. security is always bloody long 🙄 and bag drop of we have any takes ages too. we just back from tenerife leaving tenerife got there 3 hours before plane take and by time got through bag drop off through security we were shoving food in our mouths 10 mins before getting on the plane. its bloody horrendous rushing. go three hours before you do not know what is going to happen that will delay you and if nothing delays you have a nice drink before yoi get on the plane.

Bit dramatic! People can be anxious about certain things without having a full blown anxiety disorder. It's called a compromise people in loving relationships often do that. I know it means more to him and because I love him I do it.

Sounds like you just aren't that into him OP.

If its a budget airline, they often want you at the gate 40mins before take-off so 1 hr 20 isn't long for check in, bag drop, security, toilet, shopping, food etc.

Get a grip! It’s an extra hour. You should always allow an extra hour buffer anyway in case you hit traffic on the way to the airport. Better to have an extra hour to shop/relax/have a drink rather than be late and risk missing the flight!

Is he also taking measures to deal with his anxiety.
Does he know that you are modifying your behaviour to accommodate his mental health issue, and that that should be acknowledged- or does he just assume his condition is the top priority in the relationship?

If it's that important to him just do it. My OH is like this and he does it as he is anxious otherwise. Some things you just have to give into no matter how ridiculous you find it.

3 hours is the advised time to be at an airport before your flight!
So yes YABU!