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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Starting my Social Services parenting class today. Filled with rage. AIBU?

134 replies

BigSmallFigBall · 04/10/2024 09:47

My 7 year old daughter told me about abuse by her father - weird controlling stuff about toilet use and being strangled when he was angry.

I reported the abuse and there was no negative consequence for him. The idiot social worker suggested to my daughter's face that she was lying because my daughter didn't demonstrate that she protested forcefully enough when being strangled. I was told I need to support the father/daughter relationship more.

My punishment for reporting the abuse is that I have to attend 20 hours of parenting courses, starting today. I could have used this time to do things with/for my daughter.

AIBU to feel rage over this?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 04/10/2024 10:04

So he is doing parenting classes too? He's not been exonerated? I guess that's something, but not sure why you have to do it too. Seems harsh

Original poster
BigSmallFigBall · 04/10/2024 10:03

PersephoneAgrees · 04/10/2024 10:01

This doesn’t sound right and I would be extremely angry as well, in the same position. Can you ask your social worker exactly why you’re being penalised and not your abusive husband?

No. They closed the case. He and I have the exact same punishments.

OP posts:
PersephoneAgrees · 04/10/2024 10:01

This doesn’t sound right and I would be extremely angry as well, in the same position. Can you ask your social worker exactly why you’re being penalised and not your abusive husband?

Original poster
BigSmallFigBall · 04/10/2024 10:01

ICarriedTheWatermelon · 04/10/2024 09:59

Well this is sinister - you report your physical abuse of a child, and YOU get punished? 😳YANBU

Please appeal and report the social worker.

My expensive solicitor made it clear that this will just make me look like a troublemaker. This is how the system works.

OP posts:
ICarriedTheWatermelon · 04/10/2024 09:59

Well this is sinister - you report your physical abuse of a child, and YOU get punished? 😳YANBU

Please appeal and report the social worker.

Original poster
BigSmallFigBall · 04/10/2024 09:56

HebburnPokemon · 04/10/2024 09:54

Sadly this does not surprise me AT ALL. Is there anywhere you can report to? MP perhaps?

I have been thinking about this, actually! We have a new MP in my area who I think is really switched on.

OP posts:
HebburnPokemon · 04/10/2024 09:54

Sadly this does not surprise me AT ALL. Is there anywhere you can report to? MP perhaps?

Original poster
BigSmallFigBall · 04/10/2024 09:51

Blusterydaytodaypoohbear · 04/10/2024 09:50

I would be inserting spyware into my dd's stuff she takes to see her df... My ex was a convincing nice man in public.. I threw a Cafcass woman out of my home... The whole system leaves dc wide open to abusers.

It has made been clear to me that recording anything is considered to be very wrong. I recorded my daughter telling me about the abuse and this was viewed as proof that I am a bad parent.

OP posts:
Blusterydaytodaypoohbear · 04/10/2024 09:50

I would be inserting spyware into my dd's stuff she takes to see her df... My ex was a convincing nice man in public.. I threw a Cafcass woman out of my home... The whole system leaves dc wide open to abusers.