Just because I'm there doesn't mean I'm free childcare

Because the child in question was absolutely nothing to do with the OP, @StormingNorman.

Personally if I saw someone leave their 8 year old unattended for 20 minutes in a place like that I would assume it was because they thought their 8 year old was old enough to be left unattended for a while.

Can't agree @StormingNorman , the child was colouring in when they went out so how was the Op supposed to know she'd get up and hurt herself? If they'd taken the 5 mins it takes to smoke a cigarette and come straight back probably this wouldn't have happened

Why do you think it was beyond OP to ask who was looking after the other child?

They weren’t randoms at the same event. They were there together as a group (although I do note that OP revised this in later posts to say they weren’t there together) so it’s fairly obvious that as the only remaining adult she was being expected to look after the children.

I don’t agree with the mum going off and leaving her child, but OP understood what was happening and chose not to say anything knowing the child was unsupervised. Aside from the obvious on that occasion, the other mum had form for this so OP k ew it was coming.

It was a pass ag move on OP’s part.

This is not on, if they want to have a cig they should go separate and watch their own children.

No, it isn't. They must have seen that OP was fully occupied. Why would she interrupt what she was doing to say, in effect "I know you haven't asked me to look after your child, but just in case you think I'm going to, I can't". They knew plenty of other people in the club, for all OP knew they had asked someone else to keep an eye on her. After all, the mother had history expecting all and sundry to take over her responsibilities.

But that was not what happened, is it?

The OP did not ignore the child 'out of meanness'. She was doing an activity with one of her children, while keeping an eye on her other child. What was she supposed to do? Stop the activity and ignore her own children so that she could watch the other woman's child?

You seem to have twisted everything you have read so that you can have a dig at the OP. The only person to blame is the woman who went outside to smoke.

i think this is a fair comment. You should have said something before they left. It’s not very nice out of meanness to let a child get hurt. You seem to articulate yourself on here quite well so should have said who is watching x? Rather than saying nothing and ignore the child completely because they didn’t ask you….

This is not the first time a club member has had the child 'left' with them, while mum swans off for a smoke/gossip with drink in hand.

If the Club Owner told SS this, that’ll be the end of the matter as far as you’re concerned.

OP your sister is a leach.
Wants to live with you and gets you in trouble.
Keep her at a distance.

The mum puts smoking before her child's welfare?
SS won't like that if your DSis interferes.

Absolutely this.

One of my DDs has been in a&e multiple times for head injuries, 4 times between the ages of 3 & 5, out of those 4 occasions 1 I was in the shower so didn’t see what happened, DH was chasing her (playing) she ran in another room and we assume she went head first into a dresser she was running so fast, he got there a split second after it happened. 2 I was leaving the toilets in the supermarket dd ran ahead and head first into a metal shelf she hadn’t seen knocking herself out. 3 dd apparently ran into a brick wall, we were outside school, next to the school is a church that has grounds around it, as I was chatting to other mums we heard a scream from around the corner all the children said she just went head first into the wall, we are talking mainly reception age children and finally 4 DH was upstairs I was in one room and heard a crash in the next dd was on the floor when I picked her up she had a massive dent on her head a huge bump already showing, we’ve no idea what happened. The same child also sprained her wrist in this time at someone else’s house where the mum didn’t see what happened.

SS were never called even though I couldn’t say I’d witnessed each incident. This particular child had dozens of bruises all over her legs too. But she would happily chat to the Drs and nurses and tell them proudly how she gained each one.

Id say the fact the accident happened in a place where alcohol was being served might be another factor especially if the mum had been drinking.

😂😂😂 I did it all wrong!

Well let's see how far the neglect report goes, of course an empty threat, as the friend of your sister was responsible for her child. Did you sign a document to say you would be fully responsible for her welfare and have it signed by parent and counter signed by a witness?

Honestly, jog on this irresponsible entitled parent, tell her to f##k off!

You have every right to be angry. Loosers, take your kids to smoke with you. I never trusted anyone with my kids except my mom. Tell them you will be happy to talk to CPS. If they asked you to watch the child and you said yes, that’s different.

I accept that this woman is in the wrong. However if I knew a small child was alone I wouldn't be able to help but keep an eye on them. I used to be a nanny and am still the one watching the kids and counting to make sure one hasn't wandered off. I do it for them to make sure they are safe, It necessarily for the parents sake. I was at a family do and there was a hot tub with three little ones in. I hated it as no one seemed to be specifically watching the very small kids that were in it. So I did.

Both your DS and her neglectful friend are taking the absolutely piss. Glad you've got lots of support OP.

Nope. The child was 8, if the mother did not explicitly ask her to watch the child then how could OP know? I wouldn’t dream of swanning off somewhere and not saying ‘oh do you mind watching x for a few mins please?’

yes and not only, but smocking also, may be even in her own house and near kids

I'm gobsmacked at your sister's behaviour here. I really can't. I'm delighted your mother told her to get back in her box and give her head a wobble while she's at it. Fair dues to your mother!!!

It would take a hell of an apology from the sister and the neglectful friend here for me to forgive them passing on my details to Social Services. I mean really!!!

The ridiculous thing is that this mother did have someone who could watch her sprog whilst she had a fag. She had come to the evening with a friend. That friend was not the OP it was her sister. The mother should have gone off for a cigarette alone and left her friend who presumable knows her daughter better than the OP and who doesn't have any children of her own to watch.

Hahagaha exactly. You've explained that far better than I did, and made me laugh too.

Sorry that was obviously supposed to be to the person you were replying to!

That's ridiculous. I was at a softplay last weekend and saw a mother leave her child in the soft play while she went to the toilet. If something happened to the child, does that make me responsible just because I didn't stop the woman and say I'm not going to watch your child? Be reasonable.

This might be the maddest thing I've ever heard. Imagine going to a busy playground with your kids, and then just loudly announcing "I'm just popping to the pub!" and BAM! anyone in earshot is now resonsible for your kids as you leg it 😂

And then there's a mad rush as all the other parents yell "I'M JUST POPPING OFF SOMEWHERE TOO! YOU'RE IT!" And some poor sod who was engrossed in their phone during all this is left supervising 30 kids they've never seen before.

Ludicrous.
So I’m responsible for watching all children whose parents aren’t watching them when I know they’re not being watched am I? No.
if children are not being supervised that is just down to those who are responsible for them.
Her child, her problem.