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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just because I'm there doesn't mean I'm free childcare

364 replies

itsmeits · 04/10/2024 07:13

I go out once a week and take my DDs with me 7 and 13. It's a social evening thing, the girls love it, there are different activities on.
My sister has started coming fine no issue with that. Her mate is now coming with her DD 8
This is where the issue is. They swan off for 15-30 min cig breaks and leave the child unattended. Going for a cig is the announcement and off they pop.
Last night child of sisters friend was messing about and has hurt themselves, mum nowhere to be seen for over 20mins.
I am being blamed for not watching the child 😳
Apparently announcing I'm going for a cig is que for me to watch her child - never have either said can you watch DD while I nip out. Plus I don't know this child, met her a few times that's it.
When this happened I should have been sat with/watching her DD not participating in an activity my DDs wanted to do.

My sister is trying to rip me a new one and her friend has threatened to report me to SS for neglect, as it was my neglect (according to them) that has caused this hospital visit and her to be reported to SS.

Should I have watched this child
YANBU you have your DDs she needs to step up
YABU she's a single mum provide free cig breaks child care for her

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 04/10/2024 07:26

TemuSpecialBuy · 04/10/2024 07:16

Well i wouldnt be bothering to go out with her or your sister again.

Enjoy quality time with your children.

What did she manage to do in a restaurant that required a visit to hospital???

What restaurant??

StormingNorman · 04/10/2024 07:25

I’ve said you are being unreasonable because by your own admission you were not watching an eight rear old child when you knew nobody else was.

If you weren’t able to watch the child along with your own, you should have spoken up at the time. So when they announced they were going for a cig you say “I’m tied up with my DC at the moment, could you take yours with you”

Your post reads like you got the hump, behaved in a passive aggressive way and now it’s backfired because the child ended up in hospital.

Equally, the other mum is being unreasonable to expect you to look after her child…and to take such long fag breaks. It’s incredibly antisocial of them to leave you sat alone and with all the kids for so long.

Billybagpuss · 04/10/2024 07:22

‘Oh ok report me to ss, when exactly did you ask me to watch the kids and I answered yes of course?’

MeMyCatsAndI · 04/10/2024 07:21

So basically she wants you to tell SS that she regularly leaves her kid unattended?

theeyeofdoe · 04/10/2024 07:20

Just tell her to report you.
make it clear you are not looking after her child.

Mindymomo · 04/10/2024 07:20

If she didn’t ask you to watch her child then you can’t be blamed for something that happened whilst she wasn’t there, there’s no way you can watch a few children all at once, if she reports you to SS, just tell them exactly what happened, it doesn’t take 20 minutes to have a cigarette, that certainly isn’t on. Sorry this accident happened but looks like she’s looking for someone to blame.

PurpleFlower1983 · 04/10/2024 07:20

TemuSpecialBuy · 04/10/2024 07:16

Well i wouldnt be bothering to go out with her or your sister again.

Enjoy quality time with your children.

What did she manage to do in a restaurant that required a visit to hospital???

They weren’t in a restaurant, OP says there are activities going on so I assume some are physical?

Not your problem at all OP and if SS ask you say what you said on here. Not once did you accept responsibility for caring for the child.

joolsella · 04/10/2024 07:20

What are the activities?

Is this a pub/social club outing? Is there alcohol involved?

Penguinmouse · 04/10/2024 07:20

Do not take this shit from parents who can’t be bothered to parent their children. “I am here to watch my children and my children only. If you had ASKED me to watch your DD, I would have considered it but you went off for a 20 minute cigarette break and left her unattended.” She can report you to social services all she likes, the neglect lies with her leaving a child unattended with a virtual stranger and no arrangement for you to watch her.

MumChp · 04/10/2024 07:19

I would feel bad for the kid but laugh at the parents.
Not my cirkus not my monkeys.

DoreenonTill8 · 04/10/2024 07:19

So she's happy for you to speak to SS and confirm all the times she's abandoned her child?

Brainded · 04/10/2024 07:18

My sister is trying to rip me a new one and her friend has threatened to report me to SS for neglect, as it was my neglect (according to them) that has caused this hospital visit and her to be reported to SS.

really? Do people react like this? Strange people in my opinion, even if you had been watching her the chances are it still would’ve happened! Unless the child was doing something dangerous etc? And if the child was prone to pulling dangerous stunts then a pre warning from the mum would have been great! What exactly happened?

shuffleofftobuffalo · 04/10/2024 07:17

They need to get to fuck. Of course you're not responsible for her child!

She is massively deflecting what she knows full well is her fault.

TemuSpecialBuy · 04/10/2024 07:16

Well i wouldnt be bothering to go out with her or your sister again.

Enjoy quality time with your children.

What did she manage to do in a restaurant that required a visit to hospital???

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