Just because I'm there doesn't mean I'm free childcare

Im so annoyed for you OP.

From a social services perspective - the mother left a wild child unsupervised to go for cig break. Tell her that in no uncertain terms.

And obviously they can’t come with you again. You are hardly going to hang out with her when she’s accused you of harming her child.

WOW. Terrible parenting from her and talk about deflecting. At least you won't have to be expected to watch her again!

If your sister is ripping you a new one, I'd tell her what you've said here and reiterate that if her friend comes again you are there with your DC, not to watch hers.

So basically she was drinking, leaving her kid 20 mins at a time a kid who has behaviour problems anyway?
I'd ring social myself and happily tell them what's happened, she doesn't sound like a very good mum and I don't say that lightly usually!

“I am here to watch my children and my children only. If you had ASKED me to watch your DD, I would have considered it but you went off for a 20 minute cigarette break and left her unattended.”

Send this to them both OP. CFs.

Her mum is fully responsible not OP. Its her duty of care and she needed to explicitly ask and confirm OP was watching her. The mums being a CF thinking someone else should watch her kid for free when that person isnt her friend and already has two kids to watch herself. I might have a quick look around occasionally if I knew any mum had taken themself out, but that would be it, I have my own kids to watch and Id assume the parent was happy to leave her 8 year old without supervision or she would have asked.

You just say what you've said in your thread title. "You're not at the club with me, you're with my sister. Just because I'm there too, it doesn't make me default childcare when you swan off for half an hour. I'm busy supervising and participating in activities with my own children."

Hi sister, I'd LOVE to speak to SS thank you, I'll let them know that a stranger decided to
F-off for an elongated fag break and left her 8 year old behind, expecting everyone else to take responsibility without even asking ... no problem
With that whatsoever!

Just make it very clear to your sister that you go for the benefit of YOUR children; that you take absolutely no responsibility for a child you barely know whose mother thinks it OK to abandon her child for twenty minutes for a fag break, and that if there is any reporting to social services to be done, you will be reporting friend for abandoning her unruly offspring.

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about SS they have bigger problems in the world to be dealing with @itsmeits

Everytime they annouce they're going for a break say, I'm not looking after them.

I do think it is implied that they expect you to watch the child but if you were watching 3 or 4 children at this point then that's difficult and it is annoying!

Say very clearly, I am not your child care i am there with my dc. I have not been asked and will not watch your child. Your child, your responsibility! Cheeky you know what! Not like she asked and you said OK.

Honestly this was just an accident and could have happened any time. Most parents are not hovering over their 8 year olds ready to catch them if they fall.

The mother is being totally unreasonable and ss won't be interested in either of you but especially not you OP.

They are being unreasonable and I wouldn't even engage with it now
pre than to say "Your friend should have been taking care of her own child. You both took advantage of me and now she's upset because it didn't work out. She's welcome to call Social Services and explain how she repeatedly leaves the child without checking anyone is watching her"

Announcement of cig break doesn't imply you are totally responsible for my child. Doesn't work like that.

@itsmeits they are unreasonable. Enjoy your time with your own children. The mum needs to step up and supervise her own children 🙄

My sister is trying to rip me a new one and her friend has threatened to report me to SS for neglect, as it was my neglect (according to them) that has caused this hospital visit and her to be reported to SS.

Hahahaha I laughed out loud at this part. Tell the mother who abandoned her DD with a stranger to go off for a fag break to report you to SS and see what they say.

They are CFs, OP. Don't go out with either of them again.

I doubt SS would take this any further unless there are other factors. It's normal for them to be called for major injuries but they would not do anything just check everything is ok.
They might tell the mother to keep a better eye on their child but it's an 8 year old in a child appropriate setting for half an hour- not a toddler left alone all day. It doesn't sound like neglect.
It is a bit strange though, why did no one go and get the mother if she was only just outside the door?

Right, so this woman's child was hurt and she has been reported to Social Services, but she thinks YOU should be reported to Social Services? None of this makes any sense. Why was the woman reported? Who by? Children have accidents all the time. My eldest might as well have set up camp at A&E he was there so often and I was never reported to Social Services. And nor should I have been.

They're both being completely unreasonable and being a single mum has nothing to do with it. No one owes me child care because my ex is an arsehole. Her kid, her responsibility. Depending on how you feel if your sister brings this up again Id either walk away/hang up or tell her exactly what I think of her friends neglect of her child and that you'll happily tell SS what happened. No one outside the two of them is going to think some random child or your sister's friend is in any way your responsible.

Obviously they are in the wrong and being ridiculous.

I'd love to see them refer a person with no caring responsibilities to SS for not caring for their dc. It would probably give the duty team a laugh.

Don't take any shit about this. Obviously ss won't investigate you - you're not responsible for the kid!

Your sister and her mate have put a dampener on your nice thing you do with your kids - which sounds ace by the way, whatever it is - and you should be annoyed with her!