To not want dp to work more?

What about family life, though? What is the point of them being together and having children if they don't get to spend any time all together?

Doing all the parenting for small children six days per week is very hard and very lonely - having been there myself, I would really try to push back on this one, OP.

What s tge job?
Where s your financial security if you unmarried?
What if he drops dead from overwork? What life insurance etc is there

That’s just life though. If they only just have the essentials covered then someone needs to work more. Its pretty miserable to work all week but be berated because you spent money on a sandwich.

So he wants you to do more caring for your joint children so he can further his career and give himself future financial stability (which only benefits him if you split up so does not provide any security for you), but isn't keen on you working to provide yourself any future financial stability?

I would say to him that you value financial stability and you understand his position, so you want some security too.
Choice 1 - you get married so your personal and financial sacrifices to support his career actually benefit you too. Once married he can work X number of Saturdays (number/timescale mutually agreed) if the money can be found for childcare one day per week. Cutting back on Temu and stopping smoking should cover a good chunk of it. If it's that important to him he can manage I'm sure.
Choice 2 - you don't get married but you both work 3 days a week from now on and split the childcare, so you both have financial security. House or tenancy agreement should be in both your names. Equal pension contributions should be being made to both of you.

You both work more than full time at present. He is asking you to work more so that he can secure future financial benefits for himself which you have no legal entitlement to.

Is he ‘helping’ with childcare though if they are his own children that he has decided to have? What about the OP having to put her career on hold to allow him to work on his? I’m sure she wants to get on with life too! Presumably this was a joint decision they made together. As she does 60 hours of solo childcare a week she probably doesn’t have much energy to pick up more slack at the moment!

You could get an evening job to bring in some extra money.

If he was really concerned about our financial situation then surely he would cut down on his own spending? And I don't spend much outside of essentials.

Not everyone wants a life where they don’t have much money beyond bare essentials.

This is a better plan as you could work up to the tax threshold without paying tax on what you earn.

I think the thing is, he's hoping it will boost his career.

He can't really be expected to put his career on hold (if he is ambitious) to help with childcare when you are a SAHM. I'd have thought the whole idea of you staying home was that he was free to concentrate on maximising earnings or career opportunities, and having only one salary does make finances tight.

I think he will resent you if you make a big deal of him cutting back on work when he's the sole breadwinner and wants to get on in life. Is he not likely to suggest that you pick up some of the slack and get a job if you don't want him doing more hours?

SAHM here, partner works long hours but has always had weekends off. Had a very stressful time at work for about 6 months when the children were younger and worked a day at the weekends too and it nearly drove me insane! It was coming out of lockdown, but x6 days a week doing full time childcare is SO HARD. Doable, yes, but I would be very strongly resisting this too and actually suggest he looks after the children a bit in the evenings or on a Saturday / Sunday so you can study or work, it would help your CV and all income would be tax free. Or maybe he waits until you get free childcare and then works on a Saturday. I would also suggest he tries walking in your shoes and doing a x6 day week with the children on his own to see how he finds it (!!)

Yep-this? Can you find something in the evenings?

How much will he be earning on the Saturday mornings?

He is already working a lot of hours, one day off a week would be horrendous. Would you working a couple of evenings a week not make more sense. He’ll be at home for the children so no child care costs.

Any chance he could work on Sundays instead? If not, I’d say no for the next couple of years - particularly if you think he just wants more money to spend on tat rather than building up savings.

I agree with you OP. Terrible timing with a 2yo and 1yo. In a few years he can do this, or you could look at part-time work when free nursery kicks in (or school for youngest). He doesn’t need to make your life harder now. Saturdays with very young children are precious family time.

Everyone commenting for her to get a job the financial cost of childcare for a 1 and 2 year old may not be worth it at the moment?

Please seriously consider the risk of being a SAHM when you’re not married. You have zero financial protection, he could leave tomorrow and you’d have nothing. Definitely suggest you get a job. And you can’t complain about his work when he is supporting you financially.

If it was just for additional £ then I might see your point but you say it’s to boost his career. He can’t wait 10 years for your youngest to no longer be a young child before he starts improving his career. He might miss a lot of opportunities or miss the boat altogether.

How strange that my comment was removed?! It didn't say anything it shouldn't have.

But you do understand that he should be able to buy food at work or crap off temu, and you should be able to buy more than just essentials if that's what he wants to do? You are not in a great position if you are only buying essentials. That to me would say we are only just coping.

Hes not being unreasonable wanting to be more financially secure.