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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that answering your phone at a dinner table is rude

38 replies

Littlehouseonthe · 03/10/2024 23:07

Does your partner do this? How does/ would it make you feel if they did it?

Partner and I were celebrating a special occasion tonight so we got a takeaway (couldn’t go out for a meal as we have a small baby and no childcare). We have had so little time recently to connect/ chat and have been going through some relationship issues so the two hours we had together tonight felt important/special. Right after we finished eating and were chatting at the table, his phone rings and he answers it straight away. It’s not an emergency, it’s his mate ringing for a catch up. He happily chats away with his mate whilst I am sitting there looking at the ceiling.

AIBU to think this is not ok?

OP posts:
DragonFire101 · 04/10/2024 02:40

I think everyone is short on time when you have a kid and the eating had been finished. I think maybe it was ok to answer however he should have called the friend back after he realised it was a casual chat.

DH doesn’t have chatty friends it’s usually his mum calling and he wraps it up fast or gets back to her later (letting the call go).

LonelyInDville · 04/10/2024 02:02

I think during dinner regardless if at home or out it’s rude. But there are exceptions of course

AdoraBell · 03/10/2024 23:45

My DH does all time even in restaurants.

LoremIpsumCici · 03/10/2024 23:43

I’m just saying imho it’s a grey area. Was it agreed on as a celebratory dinner or celebratory evening? It’s ok for you to think it wasn’t ok, but I don’t think it is necessarily obviously not ok.

Original poster
Littlehouseonthe · 03/10/2024 23:37

LoremIpsumCici · 03/10/2024 23:27

So those who say answering the phone after you have finished eating dinner is rude, when does it become acceptable?

Just wondering where the line is for each of you. 10 minutes? 2 hours? Or is the line an event like after all dishes are washed?

I said in my original post that it was pretty much right we finished eating. It wasn’t just a dinner but rather an ‘special’ evening to celebrate sth

OP posts:
LoremIpsumCici · 03/10/2024 23:27

So those who say answering the phone after you have finished eating dinner is rude, when does it become acceptable?

Just wondering where the line is for each of you. 10 minutes? 2 hours? Or is the line an event like after all dishes are washed?

BuggersMuddle · 03/10/2024 23:22

Not okay. Only people who tend to call 'for a chat' are immediate family though & if it was parents I'd answer (mainly as they are now older & have some health issues), but if not urgent I'd let them know we were eating & arrange a time to call back.

Anyone else, I'd send a text along the lines of 'Hey couldn't take your call. Let me know if anything urgent? Otherwise I'm around at X time if you wanted a chat?'

Ineffable23 · 03/10/2024 23:14

I wouldn't mind him answering it in the first place, primarily because if someone calls without messaging first the way etiquette has changed recently means it tends to be urgent.

But I would expect him to rapidly conclude it wasn't urgent/an emergency and then hang up within a minute or so.

kasode · 03/10/2024 23:14

DH would probably answer his phone if we were just eating at home (but not at a restaurant unless he could see it was urgent). He doesn't have mates who would call just for a chat though so it would probably be something more urgent or official that he'd have to deal with now. Me, I hate answering my phone at any time and I'd just ignore it like I normally do.

Talipesmum · 03/10/2024 23:12

I’m fairly relaxed about answering phones etc, but I’d only think it was ok if it was someone who might be an emergency, or maybe answering someone’s call to check what they want, but warding them off to another time. Or v quickly and apologetically dealing with something fast. Not sitting back and having a nice catchup while you’re sat there like a lemon.

LoremIpsumCici · 03/10/2024 23:11

It’s rude while eating, but when you’ve finished that’s a grey area imho.

Closetheblinds · 03/10/2024 23:11

It’s not ok, he is ignorant. Especially if it’s just a friend!

ChristmasPostman · 03/10/2024 23:09

Nope. Thoughtless and frankly ignorant.

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