Really upset with family’s reaction

PIP has nothing to do with working or not. Some on PIP do work, others don’t. Legacy ESA and Heath element of UC are about ability to work or not.🤷‍♀️

The problem is OP, it's very hard not to feel resentful when you're working hard to try and get by and make a good life for yourself and your taxes are going on people who are not but could actually be working!

It seems she does need to stop sharing personal information with her family, due to them turning out to be cunts regarding this issue, but I think it's unfair to call it oversharing as though OP is at fault somehow.

Assuming someone has what they believe to be good relationships with their close family members, it's completely normal (IMO) to talk with them about stuff that's going on in their life at the moment, good and bad, and totally reasonable to seek support from their very closest family when going through something as personal, arduous and nerve-wracking as a PIP assessment, or to share the good news that it's been awarded.

I mean, FFS, it's OP's mum we're talking about here… I'd readily mention benefits assessments or job applications or even really personal medical stuff to my mum, without worrying I was oversharing or that I couldn't trust her with the info. I drank from the woman's nipples! She wiped my shitty bum, I told her my worst nightmares in the middle of the night, and she listened to me agonising about which GCSEs to take. I wouldn't think twice about whether mentioning I'd applied for PIP would be an overshare.

It's true that not everybody does have this kind of relationship with their mum, but I would guess that it's pretty common for people to feel that their mum is one of the few people it is appropriate to share things like this with. OP didn't overshare IMO, just got unlucky.

Hidden disabilities are often difficult for those with no experience of it to understand. My son has autism which is not evident until you get to know him well and no one is aware of all the things I have to do for him plus the support he gets to work. I’ve been through the PIP appeal process on his behalf and it’s not easy. I’d happily give away everything I own for him not to have this disability.
Well done OP for a successful appeal and I wish you well on your journey to better health

OP, sorry that your mother is awful and your brother nasty.
Keep any further business to yourself and focus on your health.
Wishing you well.

So you don't understand medical conditions effect people differently and your not awarded pip on the condition but how it impacts your life

going through the process and actually being awarded pip is very difficult, it took me years and I was almost bedridden at the time. If they have deemed you sick enough to be awarded it then your family need to listen to that and stop being so shit to you.

Exactly. ADHD is a disability and for many extremely difficult to manage.

Not really sure why you're unable to work with the conditions you have listed. And yes I know what they are

I would roll my eyes too if you were my sister. People have to put up with all sorts of ailments in life and have to work and survive somehow

No, I said I would feel resentment at having to work as well as feeling concern. Many people have to manage health conditions alongside working, myself included. The world isn't simply divided into disabled / non-disabled.
I was trying to show how the brother might be feeling.
I'm in no position to know whether the OP is capable of working or not but like some other posters, I do feel there are too many people claiming that they can't work.

I also realise that PIP isn't linked to working.
Just sharing my honest opinions

Your opinion means nothing unless you are medically qualified and assessed the OP.

No one should be saddled with extra expenses because they are disabled. That's so unfair. So many things are completely inaccessible to people who have disabilities as it is.
If a person has been awarded pip, it's because they really are entitled to it. Not enough people receive the help they need to level things up a bit, as it is!

OP, ignore your brother - he's not capable of comprehending the difficulties of your life and he's thinking of it from a non disabled person's view of what it would be like to not have to go to work everyday and how nice that would be for him. But he's not grasping that it wouldn't be nice and easy and fun if he was at home contending with all the additional problems.
You might also want to tell your parents to stop sharing your business with him - if you'd wanted to tell him, you would have! They might need to hear less too.

Why would you be worried for their future the op still would have these conditions with or without financial help. At least with a benefit that is their solely to help financially improve people's lives it's likely she can improve and get to a better place like she previously stated she is using the money for private therapy

It's hard when you can't even get emotional support from your own parents so I really feel sorry for you that their reaction was so cold.

This seems to be a contentious issue so you now know not to discuss it with anyone else. But I hope you get the support you need. As long as you told the truth during the process then you aren't a fraud. You have been properly assessed as being entitled to the money.

It's really not your brother's business and I would tell him and your parents that you don't wish to discuss it as you find their attitude hurtful.

I agree with others, your family aren't supportive at all. I hope you have a good friendship network?

What are you talking about? A tiny percentage of people have a neurodivergent condition, and things like dyslexia aren't really debilitating like autism is so can't be compared.

Again, PIP is awarded to people in work. It's not to pay for unemployment; it's to pay for the extra expenses disabled people incur.

You are entitled to PIP even if working in a £200K job. Its about equalising society for those with any difficulties, acknowledging the extra cost society has created to live with disabilities. It does not stop you working nor is it reduced or stopped because you are working. Unless you have a disability I don't think you are placed to comment really, you have no idea what it is like having to get Taxis cos when you are seen at the bus stop it goes past or you could be denied a seat as "someone else" is the ONE space allocated to those with disabilities in a chair for e.g. Or not be able to get in shops, or access exhibitions, or even get in and around supermarkets or other shops so have to shop on line and despite being low income unable to access yellow sticker bargains. Or even that if you have a seizure or attack whilst out and about you have access to transport to get you home in a timely fashion to recover, losing the rest of your day.

When you create a society that is inaccessible there is a cost to pay - that is in this instance PIP to help those with disabilities retain their independence in a world that takes it away from them.

If we were all more inclusive it could remove the need for some of the PIP payments which replaced a system where equipment was provided FOC but was for the most part insufficient and inappropriate - and what is it going back to ... a catalogue of "aids" that many with disabilities can't use or they are just not what they need. Which is why PIP was introduced in the first place.

OP I think you need to change your thinking on this…..if my child/sibling was in your position I wouldn’t be pleased at all. I’d be worried and concerned for them and their future so although their reaction wasn’t exactly as you wanted it perhaps isn’t totally unjustified.

Which kind of proves the point pip isn't as easy to get as some people think

I’m not jealous, but I do kind of resent that some people are able to claim what I cannot. I have organ failure and diabetes which really makes me sick and tired. But I have been refused any support. I don’t qualify apparently and it costs me £12 to go to the hospital every week. But those who do qualify should not be made to feel guilty about it.

The one thing which will likely turn your health around is work. It's actually very good for your mental health.

3.4 million are on pip. Long term sick isnt the same thing and doesn't automatically entitle you to pip

OP, please stop oversharing with your family. That's really the best way to avoid ignorant and judgmental comments.

PIP is nothing to do with work. Millionaires who work 60 hours a week can claim PIP. It's supposed to be a sort of equaliser, to pay for expenses that non-disabled people don't have. It's nowhere near enough to pay for someone to stop work!

They sound ignorant