Really upset with family’s reaction

I get why people do get jealous, it's quite a lot of money and when the condition is invisible it can be hard to convey the severity. I have a hidden condition and my ex never accepted that's why I get tired, working pt I can do plus normal family stuff but full time I couldn't manage.

From a mental health standpoint working can help but needs to be the right job, think of the money as a breathing space to work out strategies going forward

I don’t think people should get disability payments for those conditions. They’re the kind of thing people get on with. That’s just my opinion though and as they say opinions are like x everyone has one. If you’re not ashamed of claiming and believe you are ‘entitled’ to it why are you bothered?

But it varies doesn't it? I'm waiting for surgery for stage 4 endo and adenomyosis and a 9cm endometrioma
Plus other health issues
I'm working but it's a real fucking struggle when no painkillers touch the pain, and I can't work if I'm on all fours screaming

Your endo and my endo and other peoples aren't the same so if someone can't work because of it who am I to say that's wrong

Do you know how patronising you sound?

Do you think the OP doesn’t already know that being out of work can sometimes worsen mental health?

You don’t know the OP’s situation. None of us do. Only she does. And I’m pretty sure if she’s saying she can’t work then she isn’t able to work at the moment, regardless of whether she would like to or not.

Your comments about contraception and antidepressants are really harmful too. I, as someone with endo and PMDD has taken multiple antidepressants, therapies and more contraception than I can count and I still suffer daily with horrendous physical pain and fatigue. You, as a fellow Endo sufferer, should know dam well that female healthcare in this county is an absolute shut show and thousands of women are left to suffer and unable to work due to lack of research and appropriate care/treatments.

Shame on you.

You've been awarded, that means your claim has been backed up by medical professionals. Fuck what others think. Family members can be such twats some times.

Bet your db is the golden child.
If he’d been supportive your dm would have too.

PIP is hard to get. Hope things improve for you op.

Do people not understand that working or not has nothing to do with being awarded PIP?

It is a non means tested benefit, plenty of people who are awarded PIP work, the ignorance and abelism here is vile.

@Autumnhedgehog your benefits are none of your families business.

I hope they realise that their taxes may be beneficial to them if they ever find themselves with a change of circumstances, and find themselves in a situation where they are unable to work due to ill health, whether that be mental or physical.

That comment was vile wasn't it?

It’s an odd and disappointing reaction by your family. Do they feel mental health problems aren’t real? Have they form for minimising things that are going on for you? Bottom line: you don’t have to evidence the impact of your health problems and you don’t have to justify yourself to your family. If your brother were too ill to work, I assume he’d feel entitled to claim sick pay? You simply need to do what’s best for you. I’d be keeping information about my health to a strict minimum if my family reacted in such a judgemental manner.

@MrsCobbit I have reported your comment.

I am sick and tired of bitter, judgemental people who know sod all about disability or mental health thinking it is OK to pile up on people who claim PIP.

OP, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone and your family should have your back when you are struggling rather than try to pull you down.

Keep you head high and look after yourself.

Wait with the what now? Are you being ironic?!

Ah, the brigade of clueless people who have no idea what it’s like to exist with debilitating conditions. Yeah because subsisting on meagre payments is so much better than being able to have a rewarding career. Or any career.

I agree. I don't believe for one minute that everyone with mental health problems, and depression will be 'happier,' and 'healthier' - and will have better mental health - if they go out to work. Most workplaces are shite. Toxic and cliquey with stressful environments. And most jobs are boring and tedious, or hard work (or both!)

Being at home, doing what you want when you want to do it, waking when you want, chilling, and doing your favourite hobbies, and seeing your friends and your family when you want to - is much better for mental health and well-being for many people. (Rather than being in a boring or stressful job, working for 'the man' often for a pittance, and often with some horrible people! Like most people do.)

Ignore the haters and beraters @Autumnhedgehog You deserve your PIP. You would not have got it otherwise.

Oh op I am so sorry your parents should have been supportive. The reactions you are getting from your family and some people on here say a lot about them and nothing about you.

PIP is difficult to claim, it is not means tested, so plenty of working people claim it. It is to help you manage the additional costs of living with a serious health issue.

If anyone wants to educate themselves on the impact of disability on living costs, Scope have done some excellent research.
www.scope.org.uk/campaigns/research-policy/cost-of-living-report

I don’t think you should question yourself - it’s a really difficult process and PIP is not awarded without reasons. And I’m sure you’d rather were without all problems and without PIP.
It’s awful that your family is ignorant and unsupportive, in my personal experience it’s usually one of the reasons for mental health issues especially anxiety. I would be really cross with them and wouldn’t share much info about myself after this. I wouldn’t go no contact officially just less contact to preserve my mental strength.
Do you see them often and do you need to see them often for any reasons? If not I wouldn’t bother much apart from minor effort e.g Christmas, birthdays, and similar.

Do you have any idea what living with ADHD is like? Fortunately, it's not up to you to decide.

You have been awarded- do not feel like a fraud!!
PIP is notoriously hard to claim. A family member of mine claims and I am so happy they managed to claim as it makes things (a tiny bit) easier.

Also, it doesn't matter what you use the money for, you don't have to justify it. When you get your first payment go and buy something nice for yourself and celebrate having the courage to go ahead and claim.

Maybe start a hobby (if you feel able) or join a support group to find people who understand and build a new support network. Don't confide in your family again, they aren't happy for you.

Wishing you all the best

Getting pip is not easy no matter what anybody thinks.
46% of pip claims are rejected .
You have to be awarded between 8-11 points just to get standard rate which is £72.65 a week so it’s not a lot .
Even if you are awarded pip you then have the agonising worry of when you get your review through . It’s not an easy form to fill out .
I would love to be back in work and be able to work with my health conditions but it is just not possible at the moment .
I know many people look down there noses at people on pip but believe me it is definitely not easy money !

They sure as hell don't give you PIP for shits and giggles, if you're receiving it, you need it, and have gone through the wringer to get it.

I wish you nothing but well, and hope the extra resourcing enables you to live a more fulfilled and productive (for you) life.

You are clearly eligible for the support as you’ve been awarded it fair and square.

It’s a shame your family aren’t pleased you have won extra support. Times are very hard at the minute, people are struggling. You likely wouldn’t have got such a hard time if the economy was in a better state. Thats not your issue tho, and you mum and brother shouldn’t take it out on you.

Perhaps explain that the extra therapy and support the PIP will allow you to access may well get you back into work quicker?

Some pretty unpleasant responses on this thread.

PIP is very difficult to get and even more so following mandatory reconsideration. Speaking from experience. Only about 14% of claimants get their award reinstated following MR. So you clearly ARE entitled to it and your family should be ashamed of themselves for their horrible and unsupportive attitude.

I'd take this as a learning opportunity about who your support network really is.

Are your parents really supportive?
Do they tend to tell your brother your personal information? And you your brother's?
Do they see you as weak/a failure/should just pull yourself up by your bootstraps?
Do they even think ADHD and PMDD are real conditions as both are widely misunderstood?

I suspect part of your journey back to better mental health and in to work is going to be learning to separate from your parents and have more of an adult to adult relationship with them, than child looking for approval.

It’s resentment, as PP have pointed out. Just because you share blood with people doesn’t mean they’ve got your back. Your family sound horrible but it isn’t a reflection on you or your needs. You wouldn’t have been awarded PIP if you didn’t qualify.