Really upset with family’s reaction

I am in this poster’s camp and we don’t all have the time to respond on MN immediately. She maybe working!

Invisible disabilities... a chance for those with fuck all understanding to pile on.
I'm sorry your family are unsupportive OP.. they either just don't get it, or are jealous.
Two of my adult children are neurodivergent... one is a doctor themselves... yet they qualified for PIP for a few years when they were very mentally unwell, and while now working again are highly medicated in order to cope (ADHD, severe anxiety, ARFID)
The other has had PIP from childhood...they are autistic. They don't 'look disabled' but in fact every aspect of their lives needs support and always will. They have had a very simple job since they were 19, but qualify for higher level PIP because they have substantial support needs... you just can't see it at first glance (you soon realise tho!)
PIP is to support you... you need support. End of.

Correction: Everyone has ‘some form of neurodiversity’.

However most people do not have a neurodivergence. You are talking pure ableist bollocks. Not having a neurodivergence is called being ‘neurotypical’ for a reason 🙄

Lesson number 1 OP…. Never tell anyone you have claimed or are getting PIP

Not all of them but certainly a significant number.

I am not surprised. There are too many people not working and this country is too soft. Most people have some form of neuro diversity and manage to work rather than live off the tax that the the rest of us have to pay. We all have to work!

Don't share your financial information with others it doesn't benefit you to do so.

My response to them would be 'the ignorance around disability is shocking'

@Alcedo I had no idea 😮 I thought it was essentially PMS having been given a clinical name.

Ignore me OP, I am ignorant

OP - if you have claimed it then you are absolutely entitled to it and I for one as a full time worker and tax payer am glad that PIP is there to support people - ignore the haters.

@SabreIsMyFave

"I don't believe for one minute that everyone with mental health problems, and depression will be 'happier,' and 'healthier' - and will have better mental health - if they go out to work. Most workplaces are shite. Toxic and cliquey with stressful environments. And most jobs are boring and tedious, or hard work (or both!)

Being at home, doing what you want when you want to do it, waking when you want, chilling, and doing your favourite hobbies, and seeing your friends and your family when you want to - is much better for mental health and well-being for many people. (Rather than being in a boring or stressful job, working for 'the man' often for a pittance, and often with some horrible people! Like most people do!)"

However, this post highlights the attitudes that annoy people who are working and creates the tension between them and those on out of work benefits, making it sound as though workers are mugs and non-workers are living their best life. Do better.

@Autumnhedgehog

You are not alone in feeling that others simply don't understand what living with a disability is like.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5179725-to-be-fed-of-of-vile-comments-re-disability-and-pip-so-come-on-those-people-suggest-a-job-for-me

It's hell, it's soul destroying, and it hurts us deeply when others don't even try to understand, never mind the bloody idiots who say 'it's all in your mind' or 'You don't try hard enough ..........etc etc

They are ignorant and they are truly lacking in any compassion or empathy. It is those 'people' who will only ever be able to resonate with others who are exactly like themselves.

People who have to live with disability work harder than 'normal' people, simply to do 'normal' things like have a shower, do the laundry, go shopping etc, and often simply doing the absolute 'basic' level of daily chores wrecks them for hours, days or even weeks ! To be able to secure and then keep employment is often simply impossible for them.

I'd truly love it if we could temporarily 'gift' another with our disability for a week, and THEN ask them how they feel about us needing PIP/any benefit ! 😡

Or she would have ended up on the streets, also possible.

It's nice that comparing yourself to the OP makes you feel proud but it's not subtle that you're putting the boot in a bit here.

So many people on this thread too so proud of how their self-esteem is bound up in paid work. It is not the only way to be a full human being.

This is exactly why we were taught never to discuss money, politics and religion with anyone, friend or foe.
Because one or all of those topics can turn friend into foe, and money, if you have it, will turn your foes into friends.
It is sad thatvyour family has reacted in thisxway. If I were you, I would just drop the subject, and change it if they bring it up.

Those saying pip is 'notoriously hard to get'.... 3.4million people in the uk receive pip. Out of the population of 67million. So actually 1/20 people in the uk successfully claims pip which is a huge number. I personally dont think that makes it an incredibly hard benefit to secure.

People can be basically psychotic for part of the month with PMDD, it's not just like a bad day of PMS. I have it mildly and really struggle at times. For some people it ruins their lives.

I'm not in the UK, and I'm not up to speed at all on schemes to help people, and I'm probably missing the point completely, but I find the amount of people saying 'why did you tell your DM?' really sad. I'm in my 30s, a fully grown adult, and I still tell my DM most things. I would always have their support and I suppose OP felt she did too. It's really sad they amount of people who say they wouldn't tell them. Assuming no big back story, why wouldn't you have your parents' support? What do you do, turn 18 and suddenly stop talking about things like this?

Maybe I’m entirely ignorant of the struggle with PMDD but I am surprised you got an award for that. The ADHD definitely though, that’ll have a massive impact on your life and if you’re currently unable to work then that’s all that really matters. I hope things improve for you soon and your family can do one

The intelligence (or lack therof) of those angry at the OP for getting the help she needs is somewhat lacking.

I do sympathise with you, op. No, you are not a fraud, neither are you alone. There are people who cannot leave their homes because of similar problems. Your mother and brother are out of order, it's a pity you said anything to them about. It's nobody's business but yours. At least if you don't have to worry too much about finances, there is a chance that you can improve somewhat. Please do nurture yourself, eat healthily, etc. Good luck.

Who cares what they think? Their opinions mean nothing, you do not need their approval or validation.

David Cameron claimed DLA (which became pip) for his child.
Rightly. It's a non means tested benefit because it's more expensive to be disabled.
No one wants to be disabled. Some are. We as a big society need to support this.

It's probably also 'tricky' when one child has issues which prevent them from working/make working more of a challenge, compared to the other. OP should be concerned with her own situation, not anyone else's situation or what they think of her.

Good for you. Others can't. I know someone who has successful businesses with ADHD and regularly has to take a lengthy absence leaving others in charge because of the mental load

I know another who struggles with basic tasks and can't work at all. .

It's not fun for either. Your ADHD diagnosis does not affect your your ability to work and do daily task it seems, therefore you would not be entitled to PIP.

I also think it's hilarious people think people on disability benefits are living the life of Riley.

I hope this helps you get the care you need. If I were you I’d spend some of the £ seeing a neurodiversity coach, and finding out more about the coping mechanisms you can put in place to assist your ADHD. And speaking to a doctor about being on menstrual limiting medication. I personally found the deppo helped me significantly.

If you think you can just "get on with it" through clinical depression and anxiety, you've never had either of those things.

Here's a little assist for you - depression is not just feeling sad, anxiety is not just feeling a bit nervous. They can be completely crippling and debilitating. I have MS, I've also struggled with depression and anxiety. The MS is actually easier to deal with and if a magic genie offered to get rid of one of them, I'd ask for the anxiety to be gone forever.

Honestly. Some of these replies make me think a license should be required to use the internet.

In my husband's case, returning to work really helped his mental health.