To be concerned DM last marbles at 60

I think it's pretty normal to be in denial, especially when your DM is still relatively quite young.

I always think that we try and convince ourselves that they are ok and things aren't changing whereas in reality our DPs might have deteriorated a stage further than we are willing to accept.

I hope you get chance to talk to them about POAs and persuade your DM to get checked. I'd still send an email to her GP outlining your concerns though as she may tell you she's seen the GP but you'll have no way of knowing if that's true.

I'd also like to recommend the book Twilight Shepherd by John Oakstone as it gives very clear and practical guidance on seeing our DOs through the stage where we need to take more care of them.

Do come on over to the Elderly Parents board too, even though your DM is not that old.

Hopefully it will be something as simple as a vitamin deficiency and she will be happier this time next year

I'd definitely encourage her to get checked. I don't think this is normal at 60 if she's been able to do these things in the past and this is a decline. I don't want to worry you but my Mum now has advanced Dementia, but if I look back, before her diagnosed, we had started to witness things like this, although she was prescribed anti depressants which did help a bit, but I do wonder if it was the start of her decline. Sorry if this worries you - I hope this isn't the case x

Please do try and persuade her to go to the Doctors.

Will admit if someone said 5 trains across the UK or fly to America, the American journey sounds less hassle.

I'm over 60 and know plenty who are. I think it's a bit concerning, especially if new. Would she see a doctor for screening?

How many do you know?

I agree about the complicated journey but the rest of it is still concerning.

I'm older, know a lot of older people and that really doesn't right

Individually they're not a problem but when you put them all together I'd be concerned

Would she be willing to go to the doctor?

And flippant comments on threads like these aren't reassuring or helpful

Not read the whole thread, but sadly, yes, I would be extremely concerned 😞

I am 62 and all of my close friends are 55 to 70 years old. Only one of them has the sort of problems you describe, and very sadly she has been diagnosed with eo alzheimers.

She had written out the route but couldn’t get to the end destination

That really isn't typical of depression, it's really an indication that her cognition is very impaired.

Do get in touch with her GP @Pinkchickglitterpants

And is it possible that your dad is burying his head in the sand, because he fears dementia?

She really does need to see a GP to rule out anything that may be causing confusion and soon. If she's not willing to go, you could email her GP stating that you don't want to know anything but you want to make them aware and give a summary of what's been happening.

I've done this a few times with different relatives and they've always asked them to come in. Do it by email so that you have a record and suggest that she could be called on for a "Well Woman Clinic" or for a medication review.

@Pinkchickglitterpants, that sounds really worrying. If she used to be able to do that journey and can't now, something's wrong.

I’m 63 and nothing like it so it would concern me. Is she in a rut? Maybe she needs more variety in her life as perhaps she’s just stagnating rather than anything more serious.

I would keep a close eye on her though as the confusion about travel shouldn’t really be a big issue at her age. I could get myself to Australia tomorrow if I had to without any issues so a trip to London would be nothing.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Yeah ... so?

It's still a bloody ridiculous journey. What journey would be FIVE trains (assuming it's in the UK...?) I don't know anyone who has ever - or would ever do such a ludicrous journey time and time again.

Clearly you do.

I am entitled to my views and to think this is a bloody ridiculous journey!

Many of us have attempted to explain this sort of thing. Not everybody lives close to family and not everybody drives or is prepared to drive a long distance to avoid using public transport. My parents moved when they retired and were 400 miles and a complicated journey away from us. You may well think this is a ridiculous journey but I make it regularly because there is no alternative. Plenty of other people make similar journeys all the time.

Just because YOU don't know anyone (around 60) who is like the OP's mother, that doesn't mean people like this don't exist at that age. 🙄

She sounds like my mother who is in her 60s and suffers from depression. Prior to this, she was functioning fine.

Exactly. Bloody ridiculous journey! Five bloody trains indeed!

I will ask again @Pinkchickglitterpants how far away is she, and why on earth is she having to do this tedious and arduous train journey, just to see you?!

Sounds very similar to my Mum who started declining shortly after losing her Mum in 2016. She was 56 then and was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s in 2021.

Interesting the not cooking bit. That won't be helping.

Me too! I've always been terrible with trains!

There aren't normal or abnormal things once you reach 60

True, but it will also be normal to work until you are 67/68 until you can claim your pensions.

60 is not elderly though. I work with one Woman who is 68 and she'd have "serious word" with you if you'd even dared to suggest it.

5 trains away? That’s a crazy journey! We collect my elderly MIL or visit her as we don’t want her to have to get 2 trains.

There aren't normal or abnormal things once you reach 60