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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I KNOW this in none of my business but is this reasonable?

85 replies

momtoboys · 03/10/2024 15:37

Friends of our family went abroad for 14 days and asked one of my sons (young adult) to watch their 2 large dogs for themwhile they were gone. He took care of them at our house - waked them twice a day, played with them in the garden, fed them, cleaned up after them and treated one for the last week for a would caused by allergies. They had told him they would pay him for the service but no amount was discussed (mistake #1). They returned and gave my son an envelope with $125 (US). $125 for room and board for two weeks in my opinion is a cheeky amount to pay. If they had to board them in our area it would have been well over $1,000 (not that I think that they should have paid my son that much!).

Is this an unreasonable amount?

AIBU - It is a reasonable amount
YANBU - this was not enough compensation for the services rendered

Putting on my flak vest!

OP posts:
MrSeptember · 04/10/2024 10:15

It's such an odd amount. Even if they did it on the cheap - did he stay there so that in their head he was gettng a bonus of somewhere to live for 2 weeks rent free? - why 125 for 14 days? Surely at the very least a round number of $10/night was right?

Definitely lesson learned I'd say.

EmeraldIsla · 04/10/2024 10:13

Eddielizzard · 03/10/2024 17:40

I don't understand people like this. They've taken advantage now so they'll have to move onto another unsuspecting kind person. If they'd paid properly, they wouldn't have to worry about their dogs every holiday. And they've soured a friendship

This was my thought too. They certainly won't have anyone lining up to do this favour a second time - and no matter whether your son enjoyed it, OP, it's still a big tie and responsibility.

If they do ask him again, he needs to be up-front with his costs to start with - and I would think at least double what they paid should be the starting point.

nootcoffee · 04/10/2024 08:23

Prior to this, what was your relationship like with these friends OP?

Saltedbutter · 03/10/2024 21:18

arthar · 03/10/2024 17:28

To look after a family friend dogs? Now that's a piss take!

I’m taking the piss in a hypothetical situation am I?
I think £25 per night per dog to be walking, feeding, cleaning up is fair. I pay more than that when I go away. Maybe I value people’s time more than you do - what a piss take!

Dennaes · 03/10/2024 19:38

No doubt they'll be back for another holiday, thinking they have found right mugs to take advantage of.
No way would I tolerate this.
It was your home that was used.
I would be concerned that your son finds this acceptable.

Friends don't behave like this.
CF's do.

Eddielizzard · 03/10/2024 17:40

I don't understand people like this. They've taken advantage now so they'll have to move onto another unsuspecting kind person. If they'd paid properly, they wouldn't have to worry about their dogs every holiday. And they've soured a friendship

arthar · 03/10/2024 17:28

Saltedbutter · 03/10/2024 17:17

They’ve taken the piss wholesale.
I’d be expecting £50 a night.

To look after a family friend dogs? Now that's a piss take!

Saltedbutter · 03/10/2024 17:17

They’ve taken the piss wholesale.
I’d be expecting £50 a night.

BabyR · 03/10/2024 17:15

Yabu.

readingismycardio · 03/10/2024 17:12

They're obviously taking the piss! But this is a good lesson to discuss beforehand

BobbyBiscuits · 03/10/2024 17:06

@momtoboys it's a lesson learned. You've every right to feel they took the piss. But if he wants to do dog sitting he needs to set fees. And maybe pass on some of it to you if he's choosing to do it from your house!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 03/10/2024 16:50

Also, it depends how the arrangement was made. If it was ‘I’d love to look after Rover while you’re away’ your friends might have thought they were doing him a favour. My sister had friends who begged to take her dog on holiday with them!

Abitofalark · 03/10/2024 16:44

I wouldn't be annoyed. It's not a commercial transaction or contract for services. It's a case of friends of the family asking their friends for a favour and the money offered to your son is a token of their appreciation and goes some way to mitigate any expenses and time invested. The rest is goodwill.

If you are going away, be sure to ask them to look after your house, ducks, dogs or whatever. And when you return, as a token of appreciation, offer them what you consider a reasonable acknowledgement and contribution towards any expenses.

TemuSpecialBuy · 03/10/2024 16:43

Its less than $10 a dayfor 2 dogs.

Disgraceful behaviour.

Next time your son needs to ve cleari a dvance on paent or just decline

sorrythetruthhurts · 03/10/2024 16:40

Presumably your son didn't have insurance and didn't have to pay for the food. I would have given a bit more but not that much more.

oakleaffy · 03/10/2024 16:28

mynewhouse · 03/10/2024 15:59

I think they should have paid him a bit more and yes, he should have agreed an amount in advance (although if they then didn’t pay that 🤷‍♀️). I think he should be careful about doing favours and expecting payment as for a service provided. People can change their attitude to suit themselves. All goes well, he takes great care of the dogs and they thank him and throw him a few quid for the favour and he feels a bit ripped off but, if something had gone wrong, dog got injured, hit by a car or something, then they might decide he was providing a service and want to hold him accountable. It’s a fairly long time to take responsibility of someone else’s pets. I would tell him this for the future if he hasn’t already realised it.

Exactly.
My friend dog sits in his own house ,but things like “ Who pays if an accident happens” need absolutely setting in stone in writing.

A dog walker sub contracted an Italian Greyhound out to a stranger and the Iggy was allowed off lead and ran into traffic and lost a leg.

Legally a mess.

Thankfully the beautiful little dog survived- but it would have been thousands to treat him.

oakleaffy · 03/10/2024 16:22

Holy moly, @momtoboys You had the dogs at your house?
My friend charges £50 PER 24h at his house PER DOG and only has a maximum of 3 dogs together if they all get on .

Your friends are cheeky as heck

75 dollars a week for two large dogs?!

They had a total bargain 😛

SharpWriter · 03/10/2024 16:13

Absolute piss take on their part (and they know it) especially as your son didn't go to the office like he normally would. As you've said though, not much you can do about it now unfortunately. Some people just take advantage of others' generosity. 'No good deed goes unpunished' as the saying goes.

arthar · 03/10/2024 16:10

It's a casual arrangement helping out friends, not a business he is running. I think the money was a fine amount.

mynewhouse · 03/10/2024 15:59

I think they should have paid him a bit more and yes, he should have agreed an amount in advance (although if they then didn’t pay that 🤷‍♀️). I think he should be careful about doing favours and expecting payment as for a service provided. People can change their attitude to suit themselves. All goes well, he takes great care of the dogs and they thank him and throw him a few quid for the favour and he feels a bit ripped off but, if something had gone wrong, dog got injured, hit by a car or something, then they might decide he was providing a service and want to hold him accountable. It’s a fairly long time to take responsibility of someone else’s pets. I would tell him this for the future if he hasn’t already realised it.

Itiswhysofew · 03/10/2024 15:52

They're mean and have taken full advantage. Shame on them. They know full well the price of pet care.

I'd get on the phone to them and say that you're not happy with the very low payment.

How old is your son?

momtoboys · 03/10/2024 15:52

Just an update to my first post. My son is not going to say anything to the couple, nor will I. He realizes he should have made things more concrete upfront and is OK with what has happened. I am the one who has stewed on it and I just wanted to know if I was being unreasonable being miffed. Thanks

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 03/10/2024 15:48

If no amount was discussed then it's partly his own fault for entering into such a vague agreement. He can say it's not enough after the event but frankly there's little point. It seems like they were clearly fine with taking advantage, and he did not adequately ensure he'd be paid an acceptable fee.
To compare him to a professional dog sitter/boarding kennels isn't quite accurate in terms of cost. But I can see why you feel it's a bum deal.
He just needs to know to decline next time.

momtoboys · 03/10/2024 15:48

nootcoffee · 03/10/2024 15:41

Out of interest…. how old? and does he work? study?

He's 23. He has a good, full time corporate job. He usually works from home 2 days a week, 2 days in the office and he has Fridays off. He worked from home all of the days he had the dogs so he didn't leave them for an extended period. He was the only person there so it really wasn't an "in the family" situation.

OP posts:
Dennaes · 03/10/2024 15:46

Yes they took advantage of you, your home and your son.
They are not your friends and they would definitely hear about it from me, as it is my home that was used and my son.

A lesson for your son and you!

I would certainly give a heads up to those they might try and use similarly in future.

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