Son & DILs Parenting - concerned?

You shouldn’t comment on nutrition when you know nothing about it.

carbs aren’t the enemy. Wiki isn’t a reputable source of info. We do need carbs, fruits are carbs, veg are carbs. Food breaking down to glucose is normal. The body needs carbs or else it starts to break down muscle. Learn some basic nutrition

It is not your call at all - do not even think about trying to interfere. I tend to keep my son (who is a lot younger at 14 months) on limited low-value add carbs (i.e. bread, rice, potatoe, pasta) but he eats loads of the other stuff (including oats, sweet potato, loads of dairy and protein, lentils, loads of different vegetables and fruit) and is a big toddler for his age in a good way. I do it because this way he still gets carbs but he also gets a much broader range of flavours and nutrients - and most dieticians would approve / most my friends are super impressed how much and well he eats and dietary advice has changed a lot in the last 20-30 years. Similarly on snacks lots of the advice says that you should not let kids have too many snacks as it stops them eating the healthier main meals. On the classes, many 3 year olds are at full time nursery so that is nothing by comparison.

Her DIL is Ukrainian. It isn’t just a Russian upbringing though, it’s a normal one across Slavic countries, and indeed non-Slavic ones as well.

You can have whatever opinion you like about the culture, but it’s not changing because you believe it’s ’objectively wrong’. The children are being raised Russian/Ukrainian and the parents are on the same page regarding that, so not sure why you think the father opposes it yet won’t stand up for his children.

If OP keeps sticking her nose in and giving opinions where they’re not wanted she’ll end up even more estranged from them all than she already is.

Funny how much you know and criticise for someone who literally says you don’t live close and the grandchildren are rarely away from their mother so you don’t see them on a weekly or likely even monthly basis and the only posters you respond to are those that agree with you.

It sounds like the children have a good diet and they are a reasonable weight and height. They are also well behaved. It's very difficult to see a problem here

Yep. My partner is type 2 diabetic and has mobility issues meaning he can’t move about as much as recommended. His battle isn’t with sugar, as most people assume with diabetes, it’s carbs. The problem is that if you don’t burn off the carbs you eat, they’re stored in the body as sugar, and many refined carbs don’t have much nutritional value unless you go for the whole food versions of rice, pasta, etc.

these are a multi generationally traumatised people:
an accurate remark and relevant to this discussion

So, they have quite a lot of carbs then.
You also said they have fruit, fruit has carbs too.

I’ll only comment on the nutrition.

You do realise that carbs are just turned to sugar and nobody actually needs to consume carbs, right?

There is no such thing as an essential carb. There are essential vitamins, minerals, fats and proteins (amino acids).

They are getting lots of protein you say, well the body converts excess protein into sugar if it wants or needs to. Gluconeogenesis.

You say they are having fruit and veg and likely dairy too, so there is no problem.

Christ. What a bunch of cobblers.

Half-Russian myself here. Sounds pretty normal as for good manners in public, no snacking outside meal times and extracurriculars being potential future careers rather than hobbies. And you need to start them young if you want to excel in music or sports.
Stricly gendered play and wearing dresses at all times is less normal, i wouldn't like it either, but seems like its your DIL's personal preference.

Yes

Not Xenophobia- I knew I’d get slated but I’m not going to say a culture that has traumatised both its own culture and all of its neighbouring countries’ populations

I don’t really know why you have an issue with all of this OP do you want your DGC to be fat, sat on the couch watching peppa pig and glued to iPads?
I think this and the many other similar comments from posters is a bit harsh!
Just because she has conerns about the upbringig of her grandchiidren it doesnt equate to wanting them to be to be fat, sat on the couch watching peppa pig and glued to iPads?
The OP asks
Is any of this worth actually being concerned about or just a different parenting style?
Seems fairly reasonable and she's had confirmation on this thread that it is indeed a different style that she's not familiar with .

Crikey, do you actually know any Russians?

Nothing like a good ole bit of mumsnet xenophobia

Disregard my previous message on the food. This is normal food and not an issue. Don’t make waves over nothing.

Your DIL is Russian and doing things the Russian way. I advise you to stay quiet and preserve your relationship. Nothing good happens from speaking against the Russian way.

On the diet front, are you sure it’s low carbs? What about potatoes? I’d be very surprised if she is forcing an unhealthy diet on her children though. From experience, Russian diets are very healthy and hearty. They’ll be getting more than enough nutrients for development.

Said as a Slav - this is entirely normal Slavic parenting, even if it’s a culture shock to you. They’re in the UK because of the war, which means it’s very likely they’ll end up moving back once they deem it safe to do so. So, even aside from the fact that this is entirely normal parenting, they’re going to want their children to be able to fit into their home country and culture when they return, as well as have fluency in their first language.

You’re already partially estranged from your son and his family (and the distance predates him even meeting his wife, despite you wanting to believe it’s her fault), maybe stop looking for support to further push your opinions on them lest you end up estranged completely.

My 3yo does 4 sports a week. She enjoys it and she’s a very energetic child. I’d rather she was in sports than watching tv.

Language lessons are such a useful life skill and considering they are immersed in British culture 365 days a year their mother is quite right to want some link to her own culture.

The diet thing is neither here nor there tbh. They’re certainly not malnourished and will be far healthier than kids stuffed full of chicken nuggets, pizzas and spaghetti hoops.

is it a bit different to the typical British upbringing? Sure, but the typical British upbringing is frankly a bit lazy and a bit shit and you don’t have to look far to see how
many chubby entitled brats it creates.

I don’t really know why you have an issue with all of this OP do you want your DGC to be fat, sat on the couch watching peppa pig and glued to iPads? I certainly wouldn’t mention it unless you’re prepared for your DS and his family to go very low contact with you.

Having read your posts, it doesn’t sound unhealthy to me.
My Russian DIL also has a nanny from the former Eastern bloc and the diet isn’t dissimilar. DGS is lively, happy and bilingual.
I have noticed that his regime is very timetabled, about baths, meals, playtimes, daily walks, bedtimes etc, but that doesn’t seem to be harmful at all.
My DS works mostly from home and is very hands on, being around more than DIL is, so the gender stereotype thing isn't present.

The not having snacks outside of snack time is what is recommended by dieticians for children (ensures they aren't grazing throughout the day so they eat their meals).

Op, you obviously dislike your DIL. You are very critical of her as shown by your other thread.
You really need ti stop this or you risk your ds and his wife going NC with you

I think this is the Russian way 🤣 I don’t really think any of is that bad except the boys and girls toys is old fashioned. Maybe the food rules are a bit strict but I think it is only this generation that is allowed to snack whenever they like, I know I wasn’t allowed food between meals.