Son & DILs Parenting - concerned?

No, DH has type 2. Eating too many carbs and too much sugar doesn’t directly cause type 2 but, along with high levels of inactivity, it can significantIy increase your risk of developing it, and being overweight increases the risk several fold. Studies have shown that people who regularly consume foods with added sucrose and fructose, along with refined carbs have a greater risk of developing type 2 diabetes. My point was that if, as it sounds, these children are getting enough nutrients, including carbs from a healthy diet and have high levels of activity, then it’s a positive start in avoiding type 2 diabetes in later life.

Yes, she totally is.

I am not saying it is valid for everyone there and yes, some Russian women have broader ambitions and similar options as western women. Especially those from upper middle class families in big cities.

She was my colleague at a tech company in EU, because her family was wealthy enough to send her to an EU university.

However, saying that all Russian women have the same choices as western women is naive.

From OP's concerns, I wouldn't mind ballet or healthy food, but the gendered toys and dresses clicked with that style of thinking.

Very true but I still suspect not far from the OPs thinking!

Well that's ridiculous if so. It's hardly the fault of normal russian people that Putin is an arse.

Oh come on, you are better than this. Your "Russian friend" is clearly displaying worrying levels of internalised misogyny and you are merrily going along with it instead of thinking about it critically.
Russian women have the same opportunities for work and education as the rest of the western world. Yes, the government is keen on instilling "traditional values" but Russian women don't have to go along with it and have plenty of other aspirations which don't include marriage.

It doesn’t sounds like you have anything to worry about to me. Cultural differences explain it all. Their diet sounds great to be honest, obesity is such a problem in this country I’m not sure why you’d complain that they’re not eating junk! Not staying overnight is also fine - I have an almost 5yo who hasn’t been away from me for a night, except when his younger sibling was born. I have no need or desire for him to stay elsewhere and so far he’s not expressed any wish for that either. Sounds like she didn’t like the toys you bought them and got rid of them - her house, her choice. They’ll have plenty of opportunity to play with different toys at nursery/ school. Leave them be and enjoy their company when you can.

Eh? There is evidence of bread or that type of thing being made for thousands of years.

Honestly, having seen obesity levels, academic achievement and child behavior abroad (in the country where I currently live an work, as well as others I’ve worked in previously) I think we, as British parents, could learn a thing or two re: constructive free time, diet and behavior from other countries.

The kids are fine and this is a classic over bearing MIL.

but that’s for diabetes #1. People without diabetes don’t need to worry about blood sugar. And yes, refined carbs. White processed bread, pastries etc. But that’s not all carbs.

excess calories are what is linked to weight gain, numerous studies have disproved that carbs are responsible for weight gain. It’s calories. Balance is what is key

I don't see the issue here OP. Yes she's strict but you've got to consider the culture she's coming from perhaps is like that and that's OK. It's not detrimental to them in that they're not being harmed just dil and son are making different parenting choices to what you deem as the 'norm'. If anything I think it's great re diets- could do with some more of that with some kids these days!

It’s a cultural thing. The 3 year olds timetable sounds positively empty compared with the timetables in the country where I’m working at the moment! And parents in lots of countries are more strict about food and behavior than British parents.

They are having healthy carbs though.

OP posted:

a normal day of meals is more like, scrambled eggs/fruit for breakfast, fruit/veg snack, lunch with the low carb tortilla wraps or similar, fruit/veg snack then meals like stuffed bell peppers or fish with steam veg. The fruit and veg do bring some carbs but they really don't have pasta/bread/potatoes often at all!

Often doesn’t mean they aren’t having enough and fruit and veg are healthy carbs.

OP says she doesn’t live close by to have them so doesn’t see them enough imo to be a reliable judge and critic on their upbringing.

Wow. Do you know anything about Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus? How connected they are (were)? The shared history and traditions - especially with food and the raising of children. They're not very different cultures at all. They are interwoven cultures.

Why would you assess her behaviour differently depending on whether she is Russian or Ukrainian?

Actually my DH’s diabetic nurse has given much the same information. There is very little nutritional value to refined carbs, unless you stick to wholemeal, and you can get enough carbs from natural foods as well as some sugars from proteins. The relationship between carbs and exercise is important because unused carbs are stored in the body as sugar. Over time, that plus lack of exercise can lead to type two diabetes, so I think these kids are off to a good start in avoiding that.

I would be worried about their diet and their attitude to food as they grow up.

Kids need healthy carbs.

Super processed crappy high protein low carb keto wraps are awful- definitely not something I'd feed my kids.

They'll play with cars and "boys toys" at nursery.

Wtf did she say they were Russia then?

Plenty of ethnic Russians live outside of Russia. Their citizenship may not be Russian, but their nationality is.

Agree 👍, also aseem malhotra, ivor Cummins, gary taubes, all evidence based research,

Presumably because the last thread went the opposite to how she wanted it, so she thought presenting her DIL as an evil Russian instead would work in her favour. .

Wtf did she say they were Russia then?

Obviously very different cultures and I wouldn’t have made the comment had I known that!

Im going to ask for it to be deleted as based on false information

Haven’t read all the threads. The only slight issue that made my eyebrows raise, was not being able to play with certain toys. Other than that, they are going to grow up leaner and fitter than a good deal of children, are getting plenty of good quality activities, and are probably going to be polite and well behaved.
Back when I was growing up, my Mum had a much loved Polish friend, and her family raised their children a bit differently to how we were raised. Stricter, but much loved, encouraged to be high achievers outside of school, and they had very good manners. We all played together amicably, and are still friends (those still alive) to this day, some 50 years later. The expectations around men and women varied a bit, but they are/were all happy. High standards, achievement goals and a healthy lifestyle, tempered with lots of love but not over indulgence.

Sounds like your DS & DIL have got it right. Low carbs is the only thing that could change, but they've got a good thing going on.

Snacks at a designated time is chef's kiss.

To be clear - you can get plenty of carbs without eating bread, pasta, rice or potatoes - you just get them with the benefits of other nutrition as well.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · Today 10:41
It sounds awful!
I agree children need carbs - they could steer clear of really processed ones like cheap bread, and by all means focus on protein and other nutrients, but children do need some carbs.
I don’t think that’s the main issue though!
Her strictness sounds absolutely awful! Yes, there might be cultural issue here but another culture can still be objectively wrong, and those things you’ve detailed do sound wrong and damaging. Your son really needs to stick up for his children, and protect them.
“Russian culture” being “harsh” doesn’t make this fine. It’s led to a population that accepts being thrown into a meat grinder of an illegal war and being slaughtered in their 100s of 1000s for one thing! And to accept a downright evil dictatorship without any meaningful resistance. They’ve lurched from Tsars to communism to this appalling regime they now have with only the tiniest glimmer of democracy in the 90s - these are a multi generationally traumatised people: you don’t want your grandchildren raised in this tradition!

Christ. What a bunch of cobblers.@LondonPapa why do you say that exactly?

The DIL is Ukrainian, but even in the event that she is Russian, it’s an upbringing that is hardly exclusive to Russia.

It’s also entirely the choice of the parents, not OP. That’s the only relevant factor tbh.