To sacrifice my career for my family

I gave up my career in speech and language therapy to be at home with my kids. Never regretted it. But i am very maternal and loved being able to spend the time. I did retrain as a childminder so made a career out of what i was best suited to anyway.

But it's not for everyone. And it doesn't seem to be for you.

I would not give up my training under any circumstances, although I'd certainly look at working part time once I'd qualified (as I do now.)

My DDs are now 7 and 5 so both in school. I am SO glad I didn't give up work completely and kept my hand in working part time. I love my work and DDs loved their nursery. They were well set up to start school as they had lots of time around other children, and started school with some of their nursery friends.

The nursery and pre school years really fly by and I'm grateful now I don't have to start building a career from scratch. DDs are wonderful, happy children that thrived in nursery so I have zero regrets.

If some of your children are in school already then there is nothing wrong with after school club. Mine love it, it's just getting to play with their friends after school and being fed a snack before I pick them up!

Just reread your first paragraph about

Long story short, I am training to be a Nurse and DH works for a small private company which my family run. They are going to merge with another company and DH has been asked to be a company director.

Does your family have no influence on his working pattern. They will be co-owners?

It sounds like you deep down want to give up your training, at least for now, and be a SAHM. But that has regret written all over it.

If you genuinely love your work you can’t give it up. If you do I bet you won’t go back in two years.

If these are mostly school-age kids and you’re essentially giving up your dream job to ferry them around a few times a day that’s especially inadvisable, I think.

Yeah, becoming a company director comes with some significant risks.

Did you also do nursing?

Also a company run by your family and your DH can have zero flexibility? Maybe time to have a conversation about values and company culture. Surely he is not the only parent there.

Nobody has " He/she was a valued employee" on their headstone.

My opinion is always to never give up your career no matter what the other person earns. You still want some financial independence, a job that brings you joy and social interaction and a bit of life outside of kids and rhe house. Before you know it they are teenagers and you have to profession or job to go to. Whilst your DH thrives in his career and worst case can control you financially. And not to forget pensions!

If you delay for 2 years whilst your DH transitions into his hew role, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy that he, the kids & your household can't possibly function without you being a SAHM.

Try to get 1 or 2 days flexibility in DHs job now, get the kids used to 1 or 2 days in child care and it can all gradually bed in and everyone will get used to it sooner rather than later. Too many big changes at once in 2 years time may well mean the end of your career before it starts.

Sorry to scaremonger but big bucks businesses come with big risks. You might be the only one employed in 2 years.

Don't lose this part of you of you value it.

How old are the children? Once you send them to private school, there will be a breakfast club and tons of after school activities too.

@Flumpi I was a SAHM and am a nurse. I trained in my 40s. No regrets as my youngest was middle of primary school when I started and honestly that’s the youngest I would have wanted to leave them from… the training is brutal on family life and then once qualified you can find better family friendly working hours. But I’d say take the time out now, enjoy your wee ones and go back to it once your husbands career is up and running in the director role.

I agree with this poster - your answers seem to me that you want to give up your training/career to spend more time with family.

No right or wrong decisions imo - it's all your choice (and I say that as a 'career' mum who works full time)

I was in a similar position, and I am now pretty sure that if I’d taken a break from the training, I would never have returned, because life became more complex as DC got older, and I’d have lost momentum and it would never have felt like a good time to go back. Finishing that training has allowed me to work flexibly in a field that I love, around the needs of the family, and that has been worth its weight in gold to me.

29k isn't bad.

29k is what you'd be earning as a nurse too.

(What the OP is studying)

Finish your degree. Do what you have to in order to finish your degree. Don't put it off because you won't go back to it. Once you have finished and you are a registered nurse consider your options then.

I am a lone parent earning just £29k, wish I'd had a career in place before.

Always women having to sacrifice their careers. It's sad.

No. Absolutely do not give up.

I have so many friends who gave up work and then their marriages have ended. They are up shit creek now.

I think you'd be absolutely insane to give up. Insane.

Change is always hard, and the unknown makes us all anxious, but stepping off this career track will be something you'll regret. You enjoy the work, it's relatively lucrative and you'll never be unemployed...it's the jackpot of employment.

Paid-for childcare needn't be inferior. Our nanny became part of our family, we still see her regularly now.

Don't make a permanent decision to solve a temporary problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't sacrifice my career for my husband's career. That's what you'd be doing, not for your family.

Don’t sacrifice anything, Keep your career if you want to. If you want to be have more money and work less then give up your career, but please don’t insult anyone by calling it a sacrifice.

I would keep up the training if you can make it work with good quality childcare. Once you’re qualified it should be easy to find part time work and move somewhere different. Personally I’d be very reluctant to give up something I’d already committed to and enjoyed, unless there’s a genuine reason eg it’s not possible to find decent childcare where you live.

Agree entirely and u will feel resentful if u don't complete your training.
Unsure how much of your training u have left but the extra money your husband earns could support employing a nanny. You will still have lots of time with your children (shifts/days off etc). When u qualify, u can choose to work PT.
Win win all around

@5475878237NC These are school age children to start. They already have activities.
Secondly - about children thriving in childcare. Do your own damn research! Its out there.