Would you ever get over hearing someone call you a name?

I take it you’ve never interacted with proper Irish then going off that comment, It’s part of the Irish vocabulary it’s used that much on a daily basis, infact it’s used way way way more in jokey way by majority of Irish than in a nasty way 😂 Of course, you will get the odd Irish snob who isn’t on the same level as the rest of us 🤣

In this instance though, SIL saying “can that cunt not go by herself to B&Q” was definitely said in a nasty bitter type way and I’m thinking, considering OP said her and brother are close, that SIL is weirdly jealous of their sibling relationship for whatever reason!!

Well when I was around 20 years old my father and i got into an argument about something innocuous and he lost his temper and said "you know what you're just a cunt" and it has never ever left me.

No, there would be no coming back from that. It is a disgusting word.

Absolutely my thoughts.

Fucking hell.

I’d have taken great delight in making a sarcastic comment to let her know I was there and heard her, relished her total humiliation and then never spoken to her again. I’d have had it out with my brother too to find out what the actual fuck that was about.

if its in the moment and swearing at me directly then id challenge on their points as to why, if its in passing yes id want to understand why, but overall it can be a mix and even then you may not get the truth etc

You are lovely and how you’ve handled it is very civilised.

how does she act about it now ?

It’s not that you are hanging on to one comment, it’s that you have heard how she really thinks about you. You would be mad to ignore it!

That sounds like addressing it at the time! You threw away the opportunity for a discussion or apology by dismissing it as resolved.

We’re 11 pages into the thread and it’s abundantly clear that this casual use isn’t the case for OP or her family.

Cunt was all she called you lol...

God we use that as part of a greeting lol 🤣🤣

Awryt cunt what you upto. 😘

Aww don't be a cunt 🤣 when joking around

See that cunt over there (random person who you don't know)

Cunt gets used in our everyday language not always bad...

But depends where on the world you are I suppose lol

I'm a Glaswegian, my son assures me that being called the c word in Glasgow is a term of endearment. I don't agree personally but is she from Glasgow? 😂

I can totally understand why it's bothered you, I had the same with my in-laws, in the end my partner said how I had gone above and beyond to help them and they started to calm down, I was always civil but again no apology or explanation as to why they were like it, the best thing you can do is have a talk to her, explain you heard her and its bothered you ever since ad you don't know why she would have a problem with you, or speak to your partner and ask him, he must know if it was a one off or if it's something else goi g on

Oh yes! I misread the whole original post obviously hahaha

But you dismissed the most obvious possibility of ‘finding a way to get over it’ when you refused the obvious route of discussing it and letting her apologise. I mean, the key thing for me would not be whether or not my SIL liked me, but that the brother you feel ‘emotionally close to’ was presumably ok with having you referred to in such disparaging terms by his wife. Surely that’s the important damage here, to your sibling relationship ? And yet you decided it was too ‘awkward’ to address it. It’s certainly ‘awkward’ this is is still causing you pain years on.

It’s possible SIL calls everyone a cunt. I have a relative who does this. You get very quickly inured to it and I don’t think she actually means it.

How are you not angry with your brother for 'allowing' his wife to call you names? He's not 'putting up' with it, he is actively allowing it by not asking her to stop being disrespectful.

There would be no question of forgiving the SIL and I wouldn't give it too much thought. But I'd be having a hard time forgiving my brother if he allowed disrespect for me.

Not that we know of 😆
but OP hardly likely to reveal that here is she?!

How does your mind work? I was replying to a poster who used the word 'cunt' to describe her her father, who had abused her as she was growing up. The OP has not abused her sister-in-law.

Ouch. Not read the thread but maybe she's not what she seems. Could be like this a lot and put on a show in front of others ? Rather than it being anything personal about you

Huh? If you meet someone “later on in life” does that mean you can’t think they’re a… swallow…. c.t?

You meant brother (as another poster has mentioned), but yes, that's an issue in itself. Clearly this was not the first time she has said things like this. You wonder what he has said to her also to make her so comfortable to say something like that to him.

OP I'm amazed you let this slide in not properly addressing it.

If I heard my SIL or BIL talk about me in that way, I would certainly assume that they definitely didn't like me. But provided we could be superficially polite and pleasant at family gatherings, I wouldn't really care. Your SIL is just someone who happens to be married to your brother - she's not a friend that you've chosen. You don't have to have an emotional bond with her. The only thing that really matters is that she doesn't let her feelings make things difficult and makes the effort to be pleasant when you see one another - which, to be fair to her, it sounds like she is doing. The fact you overheard her in an unguarded moment is unfortunate, but she's clearly making an effort not to be an arsehole when she actually sees you, which is the main thing in my opinion.

YADNBU.

True, but the OP is a sister-in-law, and not a parent, who has power over his young child. Whereas a sister-in-law is someone you meet later in life.