Would you ever get over hearing someone call you a name?

Nah she can sod off, I’d also be none too pleased with my brother for not telling her to not talk about my sister like that!!!!

You aren’t getting over it because you haven’t forgiven her.

whether you choose to or not is entirely your decision.

The fact remains that until / unless you do, you will remain locked into that moment and will find it difficult to move on.

I'd never forgive that, and I'd struggle to be polite to her, but I'd try for my parents sake. Do your parents know?

I'd be signing every birthday and Christmas card to brother and bitch love from cunt.

I would be more upset at the thought she could freely refer to me as such in front of my brother

can you elaborate? because she doesn’t usually swear?

😐😐 not very nice OP… I agree with PP I highly doubt this is the first time she/your brother have called you that.

You really should have pulled her up, instead of saying you don’t want to discuss it. She deserved a little shame/embarrassment, people are too non-confrontational…

What possible reason would she have to call you that? She sounds venomous.

I wouldn't forgive that. Even less so if she's one of those regularly offensive types. I can only imagine how she's been referring to you behind your back.

I’d be the same as you, OP. Be civil to her because she’s family but nothing beyond that. You found out by accident what she really thinks about you.

I'd be worried about your brother staying with such a nasty piece of work. If I ever called my SIL something like that my husband would go nuclear and rightly so. How dare she. I understand you OP to be distanced from her but please check in on DB that he's OK. Not all abusers are men and not all abuse is physical.

I wouldn't get over that no. It's not nice finding out someone doesn't like you, to the extent they call you a cunt, when you've tried to be kind and never fallen out. I also wouldn't have addressed it, it's not the fact she called you a cunt it's the fact she generally dislikes you enough to do so that's hurtful...and an apology wouldn't actually make any difference to that, as its not a 'mistake' as such

Wow! I wouldn’t forget that!

I don't believe this thread however is it's true, then I would definitely think it says more about your husband. He's not only been holding these private conversations in the car where he lets his sister call you names but has obviously said enough negative about you behind your back that she holds bad opinions about you.

What was the context - "God Gripeseed is such a cnt" or "that cnt Gripeseed" is pretty hard to misinterpret and I don't think I could step back from it. I'd be dying to know the WHY more than anything, especially if as you say you've always been very nice.
If she said "c*nt gripeseed" or similar, I'd be confused what or why she had said it and wondering if I'd misinterpreted.

It seems really odd that she would come out with that., just causally. I dont want to make you feel worse but they must both call you that or she must do it quite often. I can imagine casually saying something like that about my husbands brother/sister unless it was in extreme anger or else it was how we usually spoke about the person.

I think you will never forget it but the sting should lessen.

I also do think that relationships really can change long term - if your brother stays with this woman over decades, she genuinely could come to like and respect you much more and you could have a good relationship one day. Then you will forgive her.

But, unless that happens, you will never really be able to forget what she said.

When i first met my mum in law (to be) i was in my early 20s, at Uni and MIL seemed like a very dull housewife. I never said anything against her, nor she me but there was an underlying feeling of not liking each other too well. We just had nothing in common.

Over the next 40 years, i came to respect that she always played 2nd fiddle to her husband (as women did back then) She was not a dull housewife. She was a devoted wife who really backed and supported her husband. When he died, her abilities came out more.

I genuinely have totally changed my opinion of her for the better.

And it is quite possible that your SIL might also have a change of heart. So keep the door open, keep it civil and see how it goes long term.

How strange of her to say that out of nowhere? What was the context in which you were brought up in conversation? Was it ‘Gripe didn’t pay back that £50 again, she’s being a proper cunt’ or ‘Gripe and I are going for lunch on Friday, I do think she’s a cunt though’.

what do you mean? she’s not usually a swearer?

I don't disbelieve you but if it came out of nowhere and you've always got on, are you sure it was about you and meant with malice? Could it actually be a misunderstanding and everyone was too embarrassed to explain themselves? If that's definitely how it came across I'm with you but are they the kind of people who would discuss it now or pretend not to remember?

id find it difficult to get over OP

I'd never talk to her again.