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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to think confident children are from very middle class backgrounds?

112 replies

Potnoodleslover · 02/10/2024 12:36

In my childrens school the children who get chosen foe everything are very confident & are from very middle class backgrounds (state school).

I can see why these kids are picked, they do a wonderful job but what makes them so much more confident then mine? They are attending the same school so therefore getting the same education..

OP posts:
Windchimesandsong · 02/10/2024 12:53

In my experience, having loving and supportive parents is most important re confident children.

I've met children from very working class backgrounds - who are confident and secure in that confidence.

Also met children with middle class parents - but a dysfunctional or abusive home life. These children have been very unconfident.

Original poster
Potnoodleslover · 02/10/2024 12:50

Seeline · 02/10/2024 12:48

My DCs used to get chosen for things a lot. Neither of them were confident at all. They were bright (so it didn't matter so much if they missed lessons to do the task, and could read aloud without hours of practice), they were polite, they were reliable, they wore the correct uniform. The 'confidence' was in their ability to do the task, not general confidence that they were better than others, successful or anything else. They were usually quite anxious about it.

Edited

That's a very good point, from what my child tells me these kids are very good in school so probably can afford to miss time from class to rehearse

OP posts:
hbbjhhhh · 02/10/2024 12:50

Following

Original poster
Potnoodleslover · 02/10/2024 12:49

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:45

In fact - you’ve given me an idea for some role play where we can both be back at school - he can put his blazer on and I can get a bit strict with him…

needs to start an alternative thread

Show quote history

Blimey😅

OP posts:
Seeline · 02/10/2024 12:48

My DCs used to get chosen for things a lot. Neither of them were confident at all. They were bright (so it didn't matter so much if they missed lessons to do the task, and could read aloud without hours of practice), they were polite, they were reliable, they wore the correct uniform. The 'confidence' was in their ability to do the task, not general confidence that they were better than others, successful or anything else. They were usually quite anxious about it.

cuddlebear · 02/10/2024 12:48

I grew up in a council flat and was very confident at school.

I was chosen for everything!

Class really isn’t that huge a divider when it comes to confidence as a child.

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:48

Potnoodleslover · 02/10/2024 12:45

Good looks & a polished appearance definitely help!

Show quote history

Yes agreed -what helped in his case - and his accent, demeanour was/is as working class as fuck - but he’s not only VERY GOOD LOOKING. BUT -

Thoroighly decent, straightforward person

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:45

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:43

No - my partner was confident and popular at school -

rough council estate upbringing
parents = uneducated immigrants
VERY working class
you need a drill to cut through his regional accent

but … VERY good looking ☀️☀️☀️

In fact - you’ve given me an idea for some role play where we can both be back at school - he can put his blazer on and I can get a bit strict with him…

needs to start an alternative thread

Original poster
Potnoodleslover · 02/10/2024 12:45

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:43

No - my partner was confident and popular at school -

rough council estate upbringing
parents = uneducated immigrants
VERY working class
you need a drill to cut through his regional accent

but … VERY good looking ☀️☀️☀️

Good looks & a polished appearance definitely help!

OP posts:
mbosnz · 02/10/2024 12:45

Are they doing confidence boosting and skills building extra-curriculars - like theatre, cadets, gymnastics etc?

What messages are they getting at home? Is it 'the only bad mistake is the one you don't learn from', and other of that ilk, that encourage experimentation and risk taking?

Corkin · 02/10/2024 12:43

No - my partner was confident and popular at school -

rough council estate upbringing
parents = uneducated immigrants
VERY working class
you need a drill to cut through his regional accent

but … VERY good looking ☀️☀️☀️

ichundich · 02/10/2024 12:42

Don't know. Why don't you look for stereotypes answers in this thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5101166-why-are-middle-upper-class-children-so-confident?page=2&reply=136163224