Aibu to think confident children are from very middle class backgrounds?

I think many people from upper middle class backgrounds have less concerns about their place in society this gives many of them confidence

its often really evident when in a group of people from mixed backgrounds

and there is no doubt that knowing your place in society is entrenched in private schooling - that isn't to say all children are confident

I don't think class comes into it as such but being brought up in an environment where they feel secure and are encouraged and supported to have knowledge and and an opinion helps -

@GoldenNuggets08 MN is the home of sharp elbows and chattering classes. That’s not me but it’s fascinating for me having been raised a bit rough and ready.

I’m about as working class as they come. My Mother was confident before she had kids she had been a chorus girl in the post war years. She was a barmaid and would regale us of tales of how she had chucked people out. She was widowed when I was 13 as my stepdad died so she didn’t want to work late anymore. She ended up cleaning at a company and talked her way in to a low level office job. After a few years she was made manager when I was about 19. She is dead now but that company now has a graduate scheme for its mangers, made me chuckle.

I got ok O levels and did professional qualifications whilst working and actually blagged my way in to a job when I was 30 that I had zero experience in at all. I ended up giving talks in front of hundreds of people and getting lots of nice free lunches and dinners. My boss at the time gave me a good reference and said you get an interview for this you will get that job as you can talk your way in to anything. When I left the woman that had my job had a Masters level qualification.

DH had a very MC upbringing and calls me his diamond in the rough. One thing my family have in common is we are good at making people feel at ease. We are very good communicators and that makes you confident. My Mother did love reading and encouraged us to read that’s the one thing she did. We ran very wild and free no boundaries really as kids.

I think us not having advantages in life shows we have natural confidence. Made us resilient and inventive.

Is that not usual for a 7 or 8 year old to do? Can't see why the staff were surprised. I got my own kids to order food etc from preschool age

Ah not me then. My mistake.

what makes them so much more confident then mine? They are attending the same school so therefore getting the same education..

Because schools can't undo other influences, background, parenting, experiences, genetics etc etc. A lot of what makes a child confident (and a good learner, and potentially successful) is already in place before they go to school. Certainly before they go to secondary school.

It's a massive generalisation though. I've taught some very confident kids from working-class backgrounds and many middle-class kids with very low confidence.

My DS is confident and clever and we are lower working class.

I'm certainly not telling my child she is exceptional, I'm telling her she is able but she needs to work hard to acheive her dreams and we will support her but ultimately the choice and effort has to come from her.

In terms of lifting up the commuinity, she does litter picks, supports young children with reading in her lunchbreak, helps out with her local Rainbows girlguiding group, and uses some of her picket money to buy things for the local food bank.

Someone can be talented and able, and humble and giving at the same time, they aren't mutually exclusive.

The most apparently arrogant children I know are those whose parents don't 'build them up', so they put on this false bravado to cover up for the fact they are hugely lack in self confidence, so they put others down to try to feel better about thenself. Those with true confidence know their worth but don't brag about it.

I was being ironic towards the poster who made sweeping statements about MC children.

What a load of bollocks. Yet another MC kids are better than WC kids thread. My eyes hurt from rolling.

This is what my husband said, some hairdressers earn more than many professional people with degrees. It's not that it's a bad career, it's a great one, but it was just interesting, seeing the contrast

Long time ago I saw research into what correlated with success socially and academically and they found it very difficult to find what, but the one thing that stood out was do the parents and children eat together.

It’s just a load of MC parents slapping themselves on the back as usual 😴

In fact scrolling down and seeing "similar threads" it seems this has been done numerous times along with one asking why middle class kids are so much sporty and outdoorsy then everyone else. Its starting to feel like it's quite insulting tbh even though this types of thread usually claim to be coming from a place of caring about the plight of the poor people being so timid and unsporty like tiny Tim out of Scrooge. It's starting to feel like humble bragging or maybe someone has a better word to describe this phenomenon?

I have 2 children - 1 is quietly confident, but often doubts herself and would never be picked or even put herself forward. 1 is confident always puts herself forward but rarely gets selected - but can deal with rejection, also though she is the go to for certain activities! She must have shown an awful lot of parents around the school 😁

Partly how they’ve been bought up but also very much personality.

I have never ever ever heard or read so many questions to do with class as I do on this site! I've no idea why everyone is so obsessed with it. I have never once considered what class someone might be. Does it really make a difference these days? How can you generalise and say one class of people might be more confident than another? I don't get it!

I disagree. It’s more about the parenting - especially in ks1.

I think that a confident parent is more likely to raise a confident kid. If the parent is a doormat or people pleaser then the child the likely to be one too.

Class doesn’t feature in confident kids profiles imo.

I have kids who were picked for everything and one who didn’t want to be picked for anything. They volunteered, came from a home where I would have practiced with them and they didn’t fear failure. They had adults in their lives who modelled how “failures” could be rectified and that it was easy to bounce back.

You see people on here admit to be being people pleasers or unable to have simple conversations out of fear. It’s a real EQ skill to model how to have awkward conversations with compassion and helpful when the kids get older and they want to confess their mistakes.

I think if you're raised in an environment with lots of support and access to opportunities, by parents who have achieved well, then confidence is pretty much a given. Kids' whole environment, in that scenario, is one of 'yes, I can and yes I will'.

I've watched my own family crumble under the hammer of an abusive father (my ex husband) and what happens to children when the atmosphere becomes oppressive and unhappy is inner growth is disrupted and voices are silenced. It becomes a graveyard for confidence.

You don't have to do much to instil confidence in children. They just have to trust that you believe in them and that you're on their side. How we speak with our children and the language we use matters a great deal.

It didn’t help! You made a lazy assumption unfortunately.

My phone did auto correct initially to HRH - which means Her Royal Highness. Equally as useful.

’Hope that helps’. It’s usually used passive aggressively.

Can someone also tell me what HTH stands for?

Pmsl. I am middle class by raising. Working class for half my life through my job and then middle class again through my relationship, financial situation and now career. Yet my point still stands. Confidence is often confused with arrogance and entitlement.

I had to check the date on this thread to make sure it wasn't a zombie!! This has almost word to word been done before. In my experience some of the most confident people I know are from really poor families who had to go through a lot of shit and learn to look out for themselves. Some of the most timid people I know come from wealthier families who never had to worry about everything because the bank of mum and dad paid for and did everything.
So the complete opposite of what is said on these threads but of course confident and non confident people come from all walks of life